Bailing on kids party last minute

[Fearnecuptea]

I'm going to try to keep this brief but wondering what others would make of this situation and if I'm being reasonable for STILL feeling abit sensitive about what happened over the weekend ...

My son turned 4 last week and had a birthday party in the park on Saturday. Quite small party, 6 kids, all good friends.
We sent the invite out one month in advance. Everyone said they'd come.

My "friend"- who also has a son whom mine is bffs with- responded to my reminder text mid week telling me she'd forgotten the party.

Pretty annoying as first of all, why am I sending reminder texts to an adult, and also we ALWAYS go to every one of their birthday parties. For context, this was the first friends invited birthday party my sons had (we usually just do family things)!

Anyway, after a full day she replies to say they'll be there. Friday night she texts again to say bad news- she has to work in the morning and they can't come to the party.

Now, if I'd known they weren't attending earlier, I could of invited someone else. Also, I'd told my son his best mate was going to be there so he was disappointed.

Day of the party, another friend cancelled with a flimsy excuse. Honestly, who does that to a kid?

My son felt these absences as the group was small to begin with, everyone accepted hence why I felt confident 6 kids would turn up and we planned accordingly.

My sons bff has his own birthday party this weekend. Honestly feel pissed off to see my "friend" but we will probably go for the sake of my son then bin off this friendship with the mum afterwards. Anyone else relate? Am I being too sensitive to be really annoyed with these adults cancelling so last minute?

Ugh

It's so weird and unnecessary, I can't get my head around it.

I hope your DS still had a fun party?
For what it’s worth, class parties are a whole new level of hell as (IME) at least 20% of the DP don’t reply to invitations and then turn up anyway.

My worst interaction was the DM (who I had to chase across the playground as had no response) who angrily told me “of course Jasper couldn’t ever come as it is Aunty Toto’s anniversary” and stalked off.

Kids parties are a minefield. Always some no shows/ some ill/ siblings turning up/ chasing up RSVP and they just decide on the day. Always have extra party bags just in case.
A party in the park I would see as a more casual party, nothing wrong with it at all, but you may find people don’t set the same importance to it.
You need to get a bit of a thicker skin about it tbh.

I only have experience of this with whole class parties. Parents who either don't bother to respond at all or say they'll come and then don't turn up. It was quite the eye opener when DS started school. I also think it's rude to pull out unless there's a very valid reason, even if they let you know.
I don't think you're unreasonable.

Yabu and no child has bbf at 4. Two children didn't come to DD party. One was being sick and the other been sick day before. They kids it happens or they don't sleep or parents don't sleep. At least she let you know. In DD case i made sure both the children got a party bag and one mum dropped a bag off at the sick child on way back and had message from mum saying it chilled him up as he upset to miss the party. Let this go....

It seems to be a new trendy parenting thing letting kids decide if they want to flake on the day.

Sadly you have to accept that although quite rightly your DC's party is a big priority for you, for lots of people it's neutral at best, and a bit of a chore at worst. This means people will drop out if they get what they perceive to be a better offer, or if circumstances change and it seems even a little bit difficult on the day (NB I have never bailed myself, but know lots who don't think twice about it).

Our solution in the KS1 years was to find a venue where you could pay for the minimum (8 in our case) and add extras on the day. We'd invite 14, hoping to have an attendance of 12. Only once did we get caught out with a full house coming!

This happens to my son at 4, invited to whole nursery class and only three children turned up, it’s put me off hosting parties I can’t be done with the stress and upset. People seem to only please themselves these days and perhaps it’s time for you to do the same, it’s a hard lesson to learn.

The thing that really takes the pressure off is checking with some good, reliable friends that they can make the proposed date before sending the invites out so you know you have a couple of definitely to start with.

If it makes you feel better I invited all the girls in my dad's party. Only 6 said they could come as it was over the easter holidays but only 4 turned up.

I was a bit sad for her but she still had a great time and it was easier with less kids. Also I have had to cancel or accidentally forgotten one before. It happens. Its not the end of the world

Dds party* not dads

OP I think it is annoying when people
cancel but also not sure what you meant when you say you'd have invited other people if you had known. If it was a party ok the park you could have invited whomever you wanted?

I also thought what @ZekeZeke said - that you were thanking those who gave you the answers you wanted!

I do get it's annoying when people cancel. Im
one of those people who puts things in the diary and sticks to plans but not everyone is and there will always be a drop out.

at my DS party one of my friends who was supposed to come just didn't turn up and didn't even say anything about it until days later when I asked her. We are still friends as it was a one off.