This Is Going to Hurt

[Wouldloveanother]

I read this book a while ago but just re-skimmed it while bedridden with pregnancy sickness. I’d forgotten how funny it is, although the ending is tragic and poignant. I thought it gave a really good insight into the pressures on maternity staff and why it’s not always realistic for us to have the exact care we want in labour. I think it’s a shame he left medicine, but can see how he lost his nerve and didn’t feel able to go back. Anyone else read it?

I think as well, he has done a huge disservice to other medical professionals wishing to highlight the case of how shocking life is in the NHS for those working in it. I've seen numerous other "warts and all" testimonies on the shelves, but having read 2 of Kay's, I certainly am very unlikely to read anybody else.

I'd love to write an undercover 'warts and all' expose of what it's like to work in an NHS frontline primary care mental health team.

Spoiler alert: it's fucking fantastic. Well paid, brilliant patients/clients, amazing management, support but hands off, lots of personal autonomy, plenty of time for notes and admin, zero unpaid overtime, investment in training of staff, great colleagues, I could go on. Best job in the world. Remember: for every person you hear loudly complaining about their job in the NHS there are many quietly happily working away who don't feel the need to blast about how great it is!

So why is mental health provision from the NHS so appalling, with most of us unable to get any treatment? If it's not an issue of underfunding, what is it?

He was so superior in his attitude to his patients and to nurses who actually knew more than he did about maternity care. And the student doctor who killed herself could have done with some support but he was unfailingly unpleasant to her. I really disliked him

I first met Adam when he was still in medical school and I'm always astonished when people call him out like this.

I would never think of him as misogynistic. I just can't see it. As for the Am Tram stuff from back in the day? Parody songs written by students to amuse other students. Nobody is going after Suman who was responsible for a lot of those songs and is still practicing medicine.

I loved it.
Honest and not afraid to speak his truth.

I just feel strongly that if you’re a medical professional, you shouldn’t be able to use people’s stories as a way of making a new career and money for yourself by using them as entertainment. And he’s done this because he couldn’t cope with being a doctor. I think he’s a very angry men that he basically failed at his chosen career.

I have a friend that works with vulnerable young people. She has in the past had help them get access to medical care. Some of these young people, mainly girls/young women have taken a great deal of persuasion to see a medical professional, often because they feel embarrassed or that they will be judged. My friend and her colleagues assure them that will not be the case, doctors have seen and heard it all before, no need for embarrassment, they don’t judge, it’s confidential etc. Books like this are hardly helpful.

Books like this and some of the poor attitudes I’ve seen from medical staff, certainly make me more guarded over what I would share with them, perhaps some people would just not go to a doctor at all.

I think he’s a very angry men that he basically failed at his chosen career

He didn’t fail. The system failed him.

I just feel strongly that if you’re a medical professional, you shouldn’t be able to use people’s stories as a way of making a new career and money for yourself by using them as entertainment I agree. People pluck up a lot of courage to go to the doctors sometimes. They need to be treated with respect.

@MissingNashville I do take this point on board and think its a very valid one.

But I also think there is an importance in people being able to express their opinion and experiences freely and to not constantly be afraid of causing offence.

It's dark humour and not everyone's cup of tea, but we're all adults here and I think it would be a sad day if material like this were ever censored.

The insights he shares are valuable, especially to those considering a similar career. Would he have reached such a wide audience with a dry, factual account of events? No.

Reading some of the comments, and the Unherd article, has given me some upsetting flashbacks I didn't even know I had. Just wanted to repeat how shit the "we've seen it all before" chatter is in light of books like his.

I hope he's proud.

Are you still in touch with him? I'd really like to know how he feels about the fact that so many women (in particular) feel so disgusted by what he writes and thinks.
And yes, what he has said and done in the past is very relevant. You don't get to sweep your prejudices and abhorrent opinions under the carpet by airily declaring "but that was 20 years ago".
The sooner he is exposed, and hopefully cancelled for the bigot he is, the better.

The sooner he is exposed, and hopefully cancelled

However offensive you find him, is that the answer?

I support freedom of speech and the right to enjoy dark humour. However i do not support people defending and outright denying someone's poor behaviour (in regards to misogyny and laughing at and using offensive words to disabled babies).

If you enjoy dark humour own it. Say you understand its controversial but you enjoy it. Dont outright tell a whole host of people they are wrong for finding him unpleasant and offensive.

Did you actually read the book? Look he may not spout mysoginistic views in every day conversations, but he certainly chose to do so in his book. We can only judge him by how he chooses to present himself.

Yes, in some cases, I believe it is
Nobody has the right to talk about unborn disabled children the way he does. Or elderly dying women.
Nobody.

Of course I read the book! I'm not in touch with him these days - not regularly since about 2015 I don't think. But I read the book, remember what it was like for him when he qualified and I'm certainly not rushing to get him cancelled.

Why? You support freedom of speech unless it’s telling you you are wrong?

I read the book when it first came out. An online book club I'm on was raving about how hilarious it was.
Apart from the sneery tone throughout it I didn't find any of it amusing. I'm baffled what people found so uproariously funny in it.

Cancelled? 🙄 I would say there’s little chance of that.

The only outrage I have seen is here! Most viewers loved the program.

So you read the book and you are surprised that he gets called mysoginistic? You are surprised that lots of women don’t like how he talked about his female patients? Really?

The fact that he had to apologise for & remove that paragraph from his next book is quite telling. Clearly his default mind frame is one of everyday sexism.
that aside his style of humour is so puerile and smart alec. I cant bear him.

You seem to really struggle with reading comprehension. I agree with free speech. I agree with your right to have enjoyed the book and the humour and to discuss it openly. I disagree with you saying someone is not misogynistic simply because you enjoyed it. You are free to find misogyny funny. And everyone is free to call you out on supporting it and pretending its not there in the book.

Funny innit?
A social media platform populated mainly by women taking umbrage at a man who finds their very woman-ness disgusting.
Wonder why that might be?

I haven't watched the programme (obviously, the books were enough for me) Is his language about women's bodies and frailties the same as the words he uses in the books?

Meanwhile on the ward we have to watch patients ligaturing , headbanging inserting things into wounds I once watch someone put food in an arm flap. Constant de-escalation and restraints. Causing burnout and dehumanisation. I don't like what he wrote and how he made money from it. The book is about burnout really and the trauma from it.