This Is Going to Hurt

[Wouldloveanother]

I read this book a while ago but just re-skimmed it while bedridden with pregnancy sickness. I’d forgotten how funny it is, although the ending is tragic and poignant. I thought it gave a really good insight into the pressures on maternity staff and why it’s not always realistic for us to have the exact care we want in labour. I think it’s a shame he left medicine, but can see how he lost his nerve and didn’t feel able to go back. Anyone else read it?

I’m sure I have been. I remember going with a sharp item stuck in my bum cheek, and the male nurse removing it being in stitches! It put me at ease and made me feel less embarrassed.

Didn't read the book but the TV series was brilliant. My sister and Mum are both in medicine and both really liked it too.

This x 10

Did you ever see the episode of Junior Doctors where a male patient comes into A&E having “accidentally” got a toilet brush stuck up his bum? Let’s not pretend that only male patients become anecdotes. Or that Adam Kay is the only doctor to find dark humour in medicine.

This. I'm not a HCP but hated the way about he spoke about his parents and midwives too. I was given the book as a present and found some of his stories vaguely amusing. Was quite upset seeing the dramatisation (on Gogglebox) which showed him going off to a private hospital and the other doctor subsequently ended her life after too much work pressure (because he was working elsewhere for more money?). Wasn't sure if he was after the sympathy vote for himself or his ex-colleague there either.

He can't have loved his job that much nor wanted to make much needed improvements etc - seeing as he's quit medicine and is now concentrating solely on comedy! Not saying he didn't try to make improvements though nor that he doesn't fundraise etc to make them.

Well this is the crux of it isn’t it. Some people appreciate this kind of humour. Others would be mortified. I’d certainly see the funny side of that experience too and would rather laugh than sit in embarrassed silence.

Like I said, you are so cool. 😎

That example is hardly the same as many of the things in the book though.

But you are cool. 😎

You mean the ones who're saying Kay is a misogynist?

oh and it's 'knob' but the way, 'nob' usually refers to members of nobility - e.g. posh idiiots. 'Knob' is for twats - aka 'dicks/penises'.

I’ve worked with cancer patients and have laughed (with them, often at jokes they told) at some things I’m sure you would find highly inappropriate. Humour helps some people. It’s nothing to do with being “cool”. It’s about finding ways to cope with horrible situations.

@GonnaGetGoingReturns true, I just meant at the end of the series I watched but you're right

This review is pretty good:

unherd.com/2022/02/adam-kays-dangerous-misogyny/

NGL I absolutely HATED it. I saw the programme. Awful programme IMO.

To me, to be misogynistic he would have to solely treat women in the way that he does. It can’t just be that any treatment of any woman you find objectionable is ‘misogyny’. He writes so much about men as well that I just don’t see it I’m afraid.

Funnily enough one of my schoolfriends (not close) was a head midwife in a home counties town/city. She made lots of improvements to midwifery in her area before moving. I've got no idea what she thinks about Kay and his like though. And I'm also sure that not all male doctors and midwives are like Kay and his ilk.

Having said that, last week when I saw a young male GP at my surgery and spoke to him re underactive thyroid, HRT etc - he was ok but not that knowledgeable and didn't seem that bothered (not all the male GPs at the surgery are like that) but it seems like it's his first proper GP job since out of med school and whereever else they're placed. A bit irritating to see someone dressed in flamboyant scrub type overalls (office wear, trendy?) and then not have much/if any, knowledge of 'women's issues'.

You didn’t read it, did you?

misogyny can be funny (sadly) and some misogynists are also racists/homophobes whatever, but hating people for various immutable characteristics doesn’t make the misogyny disappear.

And women have statistically worse outcomes than men pretty much across the board in healthcare in this country- it's not a surprise that a lot of men find this kind of thing funny, doesn't mean it's alright.

I did read it. It’s just a rehash of all the jokes he made where the patients were women. It didn’t include any of the many jokes he made about men. If he’s a misogynist then he’s also a misandrist for calling his student’s injured penis ‘an aubergine that had been savaged by a tiger’.

That is appalling.

I've always thought his attitude to women is misogynistic, but to see this language used about people with Downs Syndrome is beyond belief.

Yes absolutely- doctors advise, women decide. Women have the right to unbiased, balanced and accurate information and discussion about their different options so they can make a decision. Drs can share their knowledge and expertise whilst ‘the only person who has the final say over this body is the person this body belongs to’ remains true.

We start veering into dangerous territory of this does not remain true.

And calling women "slags" definitely feels misogynistic to me.

When we went back to mine I was up for a shag.
In the bedroom I realised you're a dumpy old slag.
Your pubes reach your navel and they cover your thighs,
Didn't know they made arses that size.

etc

His misogyny is why people find him sorepulsive I suppose. As much of his material is based around women's bodies and how disgusting he finds them. And women's behaviour. And how he finds that disgusting too.

Though you're right on one thing, OP (stopped clocks etc) he isn't JUST misogynistic. He's disablist and ageist too. And often the Venn diagram crosses over. His foulest anecdote for me was the dying elderly lady at Christmas and his resentment at having to be there together with his thinly veiled abhorrence of her dying body.

He tends to do the tired old "cock shock" shmuck when men are concerned.

Yes, I understand medical humour, but there's humour and then there's just being horrible.

Those who disagree that it’s misogynistic... why do you think so so many women DO feel it’s misogynistic?

You seem to think his making jokes about men's bodies makes the fact that he does arguable far worse about women's OK.
It's not a race to the bottom.
How do you feel about what he thinks about women who discover their unborn child has DS?