My DD applied to go on a game show here in our homeland. A few months back she thought she may be a last minute fill in and asked me if I were able to drive her to the city for the taping of it, naturally, all this is confidential. Just for the record, I absolutely hate driving in big cities these days, but I said yes. That didn't happen, so fast forward a few months and she gets an email for a date to go for the taping.
She gets a lift to the city with her brother and his GF and off they go. Now, DD has known about this for over a month, I only find out yesterday. Everyone knew about this but me, her own mother. My own DM, my two nephews (12 & 13), my DS, even my son's girlfriend (of only a few weeks) knew before I did.
Here is why I'm so hurt.
When she was OS, having the time of her life, too busy to sleep, calls me up in tears wanting to come home as she's had enough. I calm her down, talk her through it, all while she's sitting outside the airport halfway across the world as she can't get into check-in until a certain time.
Then just earlier this year she's OS again and the evening before she's due to fly home, tests positive for covid and is stranded there for an extra week. It's 3am here and she calls me, again in tears, not knowing what to do, in a panic, trying to change flights etc.
So I'm good enough to phone when she's stranded, over tired, needs rides into the city etc, but she can't tell me about something this exciting about a game show until 2 weeks after she's been for the taping.
For the record, she doesn't live at home anymore.
I'm sorry, I'm just really hurt.
Tell me IBU so I can start feeling better.
AIBU?
AIBU - I'm feeling so hurt.
lb66 · 05/09/2022 04:34
Am I being unreasonable?
138 votes. Final results.
POLLJulesCobb · 05/09/2022 05:39
Everyone knew about this but me, her own mother
this sentence stood out for me. The second half in particular. Sounds like something my narcissist mother would say. As she has to make everything about herself. She cannot help herself.
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billy1966 · 05/09/2022 09:35
I have no idea what OS is?
But YANBU.
Your child contacts you for her upset regularly but everyone else with happy news?
I think it is perfectly reasonable to expect consideration from your children.
This assumption that mothers have no feelings and should suck it up is not right IMO.
Children learn consideration of others from their parents.
Thinking anyone is just their to be used is not acceptable.
I think it is very reasonable to ask why she chose not to tell you?
She lives away from home.
Well I would be thinking she needs to grow up a bit and be told that you expect more than to only hear from her when she is upset and needs something.
We teach people how to treat us.
It is not acceptable to ONLY be contacted when a person is upset and needs something, even if it is your child.
Is this the case OP?
Does she call you for a happy chat and catch up?
If not, say it to her very calmly, without a load of emotion.
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