To stay with my parents post-birth?

[WarmingUp]

I’m due to have my first baby in a couple weeks and have a DSS who lives with us 50:50. My partner is only having 1 week paternity (taken as annual leave as he is in a new job so not entitled to SPP). I have asked that he takes 2 weeks and 1 week unpaid paternity and I will cover his loss of earnings for that week, however, he doesn’t think it’s possible. I feel sad that 1. He will be missing out on time with the baby and 2. I won’t have that support if needed. (I’ve suffered with depression in the past and although I feel so positive I am worried it will come back as PND).

DP is so good when it comes to housework and we share the load 50:50, but when DSS is here the house is more messy, extra mouth to feed at certain time etc. I am worried that when baby arrives I will still be expected to cook, clean etc, probably more so because I will be at home (and I can’t stand seeing a mess) as DP isn’t taking an extra week I’m worried it will fall to me. Today I’ve decided I need that extra support, more than a week and have thought about going home to stay with my parents, they live 40 mins away but I have said to DP he can come with me to stay the 50% when DSS isn’t with us and travel in to work…

I’m just trying to do what’s best for myself and our baby and I feel I need that extra pair of hands for the first few days and less stress in regard to house work etc. (Parents WFH/ work PT) . So AIBU?

YANBU at all.

When our DD had our Grandson(he's 3 now) I stayed in the hospital with my DD and our Grandson(they were shorter on staff so oked me staying as it helped them and my DD)for about 5 days and then after that she stayed with us for a while and we'd all honestly do the same again within a heartbeat.

We've got such a strong bond with our DGS and his Auntie and his 3 Uncles all have an amazing bond with him as well(2 of our DC were still living at home at the time)and our DD was able to relax and enjoy her first few weeks with her baby whilst we looked after her.

My Mum and Dad did the same when I had my first and they did the same for my big brother when him and his wife had they're first and it worked out really well then as well.

I think being alone with a one week old baby is quite daunting. Is this your first?

Yes, go to your Mum and Dad’s and get looked after. Your DH can come over too, 40 mins drive is nothing.

You should definitely do this if you have a CS!

Kids probably walking by now like.

So you are skivvy aupair for his child?

At 38 weeks?

Providing free summer childcare?

He still won't look after his own child?

He's a selfish, lazy loser, and a shit father to boot.

Pack your bags and go to your parents and think long and hard about your relationship.

Has he moved into your home?

Are you the most solvent of the pair of you?

Do you earn and pay more than him?

Be careful OP, he really doesn't sound great.

A good decent man would be treating their 38 week pregnant partner a lot better than this.

Pls wake up.

This

Just bear in mind that you won’t be able to drive if you have a c section.could you parents pick you up?
It sounds like your partner is not stepping up to the challenge of having a heavily pregnant wife needing support. Go to your parents if you think that will help you, but also talk to your partner about what you need from him.

Er, the OP posted this in September 2022 so the baby is approaching a year old by now!

Oooh, zombie thread, please come back and update us. Has your partner stepped up to the plate?