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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't be arsed doing housework

127 replies

HettyMeg · 04/09/2022 19:51

I am just back at work four days a week after mat leave, husband works full time.

I do not want to spend our weekends cleaning. I want us to spend time together as a family. We are both burnt out every eve from working and having young child.

The bare minimum gets done - bathrooms wiped down every couple of weeks. Hoover downstairs once a week, upstairs once every several weeks (!). Wipe down kitchen surfaces a few times a day, as I'm still a germaphobe despite my slovenliness. Washing is mostly dealt with.

However we have dispensed of dusting, ironing and the floors are not mopped regularly.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/09/2022 19:53

Can you afford a cleaner? If you can, employ someone. It’s very well worth it!

If not I don’t know what to suggest - have a rota between you and DH so that both of you know what is your job and when?

YANBU at all not to want to though. Cleaning is pants!

Muststopeating · 04/09/2022 19:54

Nope. Life is too short to iron. Do enough that it doesn't drive you mental or become unhygeinc but bollacks to the rest of it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 04/09/2022 19:54

Oh I don’t iron tbh. Teen dd likes to wear things that need ironing so she irons them. I buy things that don’t need ironing!

nutellachurro · 04/09/2022 19:54

YANBU

That's why we got a cleaner

Makes life so much better

wonderingwhatsnext · 04/09/2022 19:55

When I had a baby a friend of DM told me, keep the kitchen and bathroom clean, don't worry about anything else!

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 19:55

Why can’t you clean on your day off? That’s what most people do if they want to keep the weekend free. I did this when I worked four 10hr days. I couldn’t live like that, it doesn’t sound “germaphobe” to me but “minging”.

No one wants to do housework there are always better things to do. But it’s just something you have to do.

picklemewalnuts · 04/09/2022 19:55

I'm getting better at being really efficient. I still don't like it, but I'm clawing back the house!

First of all make sure you aren't doing anything unnecessary. Hanging your washing properly means you don't really need to iron, for example.

Skinnermarink · 04/09/2022 19:57

Yeah, I’m in a similar boat and it’s getting me down to be honest. With everything else going up no way we can justify a cleaner. I got home from work at 8pm the other day and by 9pm I was cleaning the bathroom because it needed doing. I like to keep a tight ship normally, but I know I need to let my standards slip!

DH pushes the hoover round every so often or sticks a wash on and thinks that’s the brunt of housework done 🙄

picklemewalnuts · 04/09/2022 19:57

Use a scrubby pad and washing up liquid to swipe round the bath as the water drains.

Squeegee the shower and use a long handled brush and washing up liquid on it every time you use it.

If you do a little very frequently, you can avoid ever needing to do a lot!

Topgub · 04/09/2022 19:59

Yanbu.

I dont iron.

We still manage to hoover downstairs daily, clean the kitchen and bathroom (wipe downs daily, deeper clean weekly) keep on top of washing. And dust weekly.

It doesn't take long.

Upstairs could definitely be doing with a deeper clean but meh.

Hugasauras · 04/09/2022 20:00

That sounds fine to me tbh. Ironing is a waste of time (controversial I know), dusting meh. I'd mop floor if it looked like it needed or there was a spill.

If it works for you and kitchen is clean, toilets are clean, etc. then just go with it. Homes don't have to be spotless.

Hugasauras · 04/09/2022 20:01

Oh get a robot hoover. The only reason we hoover every day is because we don't actually have to do it Grin

moneybeingwasted · 04/09/2022 20:05

How do people distinguish between clean and deep clean …I genuinely don’t know what deep clean means!

QuestionableMouse · 04/09/2022 20:08

moneybeingwasted · 04/09/2022 20:05

How do people distinguish between clean and deep clean …I genuinely don’t know what deep clean means!

I work as a housekeeper part time so can answer this!

Clean - quick swipe over without moving anything.

Deep clean - move stuff, clean behind it, use proper soapy water rather than just a damp cloth.

Kinda like a strip wash vs a proper shower.

Muststopeating · 04/09/2022 20:09

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 19:55

Why can’t you clean on your day off? That’s what most people do if they want to keep the weekend free. I did this when I worked four 10hr days. I couldn’t live like that, it doesn’t sound “germaphobe” to me but “minging”.

No one wants to do housework there are always better things to do. But it’s just something you have to do.

Because she doesn't want to and good for her.

Plus she's just come off maternity so has a small child... so what bloody day off????

Topgub · 04/09/2022 20:11

Deep clean would be moving furniture. Possibly going through things, checking stuff away

AngelinaFibres · 04/09/2022 20:20

Discovereads · 04/09/2022 19:55

Why can’t you clean on your day off? That’s what most people do if they want to keep the weekend free. I did this when I worked four 10hr days. I couldn’t live like that, it doesn’t sound “germaphobe” to me but “minging”.

No one wants to do housework there are always better things to do. But it’s just something you have to do.

This. Living in a grubby house is not nice. Housework is boring but necessary. Get it done quickly abd efficiently on the morning of your day off ,then go out with your child in the afternoon and at the weekend

riotlady · 04/09/2022 20:25

So confession time- we had a rough few years with work, study, pandemic, small child, difficult finances and me being chronically ill. Our cleaning during that time was probably what you describe- whip round with a hoover once a week, pretty clean bathroom, kitchen surfaces wiped down. We moved house a couple of months ago and the process of moving out and deep cleaning revealed how genuinely dirty our house was beneath the surface. Most of the furniture had loads of cobwebs behind, there were carpet moth caterpillars feasting on a sock under the sofa, dust bunnies in the corners, weird stains on the skirting boards that wouldn’t come off, we got the oven professionally cleaned and the guy said it was one of the worst he’d ever seen (I pretended I was the landlord and not the tenant in shame!). It wasn’t “dirty house sos” levels but it was not nice.

Anyway, I don’t say all of this to shame anyone (except maybe myself!) but just to highlight that long-term, the “deeper” cleaning really does need to be done and it’s not just for neurotic people who was their towels every day. Whether that happens by getting a cleaner or following a system (I now use TOMM) or even just blasting it all in a spring clean once a year, it will need attended to.

5128gap · 04/09/2022 20:26

Your house exists to serve you, not the other way round so If you and your family are happy with it and it's not so bad as to be a health risk, I think you're being very reasonable. Your children will remember and value family time over doing nothing at the weekend because the house was being cleaned.

SiblingDespair · 04/09/2022 20:26

Yanbu.

we do clean but it’s just about keeping on top of basics, not deep cleaning and rarely the whole house.

if I have a day off I want a rest not to do bloody housework!!

DH is far more motivated with housework than I am which I link to his upbringing. His parents have a lovely, clean, tidy house. My parents have a clean-ish but somewhat disheveled house so I’m not used to things being immaculate.

and I never iron. Sod that.

YellowPlumbob · 04/09/2022 20:27

Meh.

I steam clean the bathroom and kitchen once a week - life changing - takes minutes, no headache from chemicals and ridiculously satisfying. They get a wipe down daily as there’s me, two teens and a small child, and I work full time over 5 days.

Small child likes to control the robot hoover in the living room/dining room/bedrooms - I got a £250 cheap eufy so it’s not as flashy, doesn’t map rooms etc, so I kept the Henry for kitchen/bathroom/utility.

The hoovering here feels endless, it’s a cottage with high ceilings/beams so there are always cobwebs and dust.

YellowPlumbob · 04/09/2022 20:28

As for ironing, I have a tumble dryer. Even the school shirts don’t need ironing. I iron once a year - to put name labels on uniform.

Original poster
HettyMeg · 04/09/2022 20:28

We have been trying to find a cleaner but they are all booked in our area (have asked five)

I don't want to spend what precious little time I have with my child on deep cleaning...

OP posts:
Elmo230885 · 04/09/2022 20:28

Muststopeating · 04/09/2022 19:54

Nope. Life is too short to iron. Do enough that it doesn't drive you mental or become unhygeinc but bollacks to the rest of it.

This 100%

Stangerthings · 04/09/2022 20:30

Park the hoover in the living room with a tin of polish and a duster near it. If anyone calls you were just about to start. 😉