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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't be arsed doing housework

127 replies

HettyMeg · 04/09/2022 19:51

I am just back at work four days a week after mat leave, husband works full time.

I do not want to spend our weekends cleaning. I want us to spend time together as a family. We are both burnt out every eve from working and having young child.

The bare minimum gets done - bathrooms wiped down every couple of weeks. Hoover downstairs once a week, upstairs once every several weeks (!). Wipe down kitchen surfaces a few times a day, as I'm still a germaphobe despite my slovenliness. Washing is mostly dealt with.

However we have dispensed of dusting, ironing and the floors are not mopped regularly.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Muststopeating · 05/09/2022 14:57

Discovereads · 05/09/2022 12:50

Nope. It’s a myth like an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Show quote history

Well fair enough... your science out does my outdated science.

Still not mopping my floor every week though and I'm fairly sure my children will survive.

I can also assure you that my house is not dirty, nor am I festering in my own filth as another rather OTT poster suggested. There is a sliding scale between dirty house and immaculately clean and different people have different priorities.

Let's be a bit less judgy.

(I eat out of date food too).

TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine · 05/09/2022 15:57

Thinking about it, I did once (spurred on by MN!) wash my skirting boards. Looked great, but showed up the rest of the place something rotten. Haven’t made that mistake since 😁

Discovereads · 05/09/2022 16:28

Muststopeating · 05/09/2022 14:57

Well fair enough... your science out does my outdated science.

Still not mopping my floor every week though and I'm fairly sure my children will survive.

I can also assure you that my house is not dirty, nor am I festering in my own filth as another rather OTT poster suggested. There is a sliding scale between dirty house and immaculately clean and different people have different priorities.

Let's be a bit less judgy.

(I eat out of date food too).

Show quote history

You’re right I’m being a bit judgey. I am projecting a bit. I was just evicted by my landlord (selling up) and moved 2 mos ago into another home that was truly filthy. Disgustingly dirty. Even after a professional cleaner had done 9hrs of cleaning. I’m still 2 months later struggling to get outstanding bits and bobs clean, such as blinds that haven’t been cleaned in at least a decade so the dust is sticky like paste. I’m currently really annoyed at having to clean someone else’s shit for the past 2 months…and still have another month probably before DH, DD18 and I can get to everything as well stay on top of the mess we create.

So I’m sorry, I was honestly picturing your house and others to be like the state of where I just moved to. Which is unfair, as you are right there is a wide margin between spotless and filthy.

Lavendersummer · 05/09/2022 16:33

So DH works 5 days a week eg he is paid for 5 days wirk
you are paid for 4 days. Presumably day 5 you have the baby?
On this logic then you are both working full time?
Definately try to get a cleaner. And a robot hoover and robot mop

Merryoldgoat · 05/09/2022 16:35

i detest cleaning and work similar to you. We have a cleaner and she’s worth her weight in gold.

I don’t need a super clean house so she keeps the basics done and does my basic ironing too.

Noonoo88 · 05/09/2022 17:03

Lavendersummer · 05/09/2022 16:33

So DH works 5 days a week eg he is paid for 5 days wirk
you are paid for 4 days. Presumably day 5 you have the baby?
On this logic then you are both working full time?
Definately try to get a cleaner. And a robot hoover and robot mop

There are robot mops????? 😯

WalkingOnTheCracks · 05/09/2022 17:46

Discovereads · 05/09/2022 12:50

Nope. It’s a myth like an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Show quote history

Interesting links. Thank you.

If the idea persists, I think it’s because the principle of innoculation supports the intuitive feeling that it makes sense.

But I’m not qualified to take either argument to bits. I’m just averse to housework except, actually, for where it pertains to food hygiene. I’m draconian about that.

Notreallyhappy · 05/09/2022 17:52

Get The organised mum method...quick and easy...40 minutes a day tops...between you and hubby

mamabear715 · 05/09/2022 18:09

Get the please yourself method & not argue on here over who's way is the best! :-)

Hbh17 · 05/09/2022 18:12

Good for you! No child looks back fondly on their mother being prissy about housework. The bare minimum is perfectly acceptable.

TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine · 05/09/2022 18:14

Discovereads · 05/09/2022 16:28

You’re right I’m being a bit judgey. I am projecting a bit. I was just evicted by my landlord (selling up) and moved 2 mos ago into another home that was truly filthy. Disgustingly dirty. Even after a professional cleaner had done 9hrs of cleaning. I’m still 2 months later struggling to get outstanding bits and bobs clean, such as blinds that haven’t been cleaned in at least a decade so the dust is sticky like paste. I’m currently really annoyed at having to clean someone else’s shit for the past 2 months…and still have another month probably before DH, DD18 and I can get to everything as well stay on top of the mess we create.

So I’m sorry, I was honestly picturing your house and others to be like the state of where I just moved to. Which is unfair, as you are right there is a wide margin between spotless and filthy.

Show quote history

Oh no, @Discovereads, that is rotten for you. Having faced something similar, I admit that whilst usually I like eco friendly cleaners, for that oily dust combo I have found nothing works like Flash Gel. Smear it on, leave ten mins, and it all just wipes off. I once moved in somewhere where I don’t think the kitchen had ever been cleaned, and it did the job. Recommended by my mum! (Who is far more house proud than me!)

Discovereads · 05/09/2022 18:31

Thank you, will give Flash a go. I used a wet scrubby with Fairy soap and then wiped with a paper towel and Ecover glass cleaner. But it was hard work, 2hrs sitting on the kitchen counter for one set of blinds. I was knackered for the rest of the day. I do have bad asthma as well, so dust is hazardous to me (I appreciate it isn’t to most people though).

Sunnyqueen · 05/09/2022 18:37

Well this thread has made me feel like a domestic goddess lol. I iron everyday, mop with disinfectant throughout everyday (I just love the pine smell tbh), do my skirting boards and dusting at least once a week bathroom 2x a week...

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/09/2022 18:40

Sunnyqueen · 05/09/2022 18:37

Well this thread has made me feel like a domestic goddess lol. I iron everyday, mop with disinfectant throughout everyday (I just love the pine smell tbh), do my skirting boards and dusting at least once a week bathroom 2x a week...

Do you have a job?

QuestionableMouse · 05/09/2022 18:44

Sunnyqueen · 05/09/2022 18:37

Well this thread has made me feel like a domestic goddess lol. I iron everyday, mop with disinfectant throughout everyday (I just love the pine smell tbh), do my skirting boards and dusting at least once a week bathroom 2x a week...

Stop mopping with disinfectant every day. It's contributing to superbugs!

INeverSawAPurpleCow · 05/09/2022 18:47

Hugasauras · 04/09/2022 20:01

Oh get a robot hoover. The only reason we hoover every day is because we don't actually have to do it Grin

This. I adore mine.

Muststopeating · 05/09/2022 18:54

Discovereads · 05/09/2022 16:28

You’re right I’m being a bit judgey. I am projecting a bit. I was just evicted by my landlord (selling up) and moved 2 mos ago into another home that was truly filthy. Disgustingly dirty. Even after a professional cleaner had done 9hrs of cleaning. I’m still 2 months later struggling to get outstanding bits and bobs clean, such as blinds that haven’t been cleaned in at least a decade so the dust is sticky like paste. I’m currently really annoyed at having to clean someone else’s shit for the past 2 months…and still have another month probably before DH, DD18 and I can get to everything as well stay on top of the mess we create.

So I’m sorry, I was honestly picturing your house and others to be like the state of where I just moved to. Which is unfair, as you are right there is a wide margin between spotless and filthy.

Show quote history

Oh god. That does sound really really grim and I don't blame you if that's given you the rage. Other peoples filth really is the worst and that sounds like next level dirty.

I hope you get it to how you want it soon and can settle in this new place without a landlord changing their plans again.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 05/09/2022 18:56

What's mopping and why do people do it? I read it a lot on here and have visions of those string mops like rats' tails that school caretakers used to use. I don't think I've ever mopped, have I failed somewhere?

Skinnermarink · 05/09/2022 20:17

Sunnyqueen · 05/09/2022 18:37

Well this thread has made me feel like a domestic goddess lol. I iron everyday, mop with disinfectant throughout everyday (I just love the pine smell tbh), do my skirting boards and dusting at least once a week bathroom 2x a week...

And what’s your job? How many children?

TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine · 05/09/2022 20:33

Sunnyqueen · 05/09/2022 18:37

Well this thread has made me feel like a domestic goddess lol. I iron everyday, mop with disinfectant throughout everyday (I just love the pine smell tbh), do my skirting boards and dusting at least once a week bathroom 2x a week...

How???? I’m out at work 7.30am - 8pm and by the time I’ve done dinner and kids bedtime I’m knackered! No partner so all on me!

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 05/09/2022 20:38

I have no aspirations to be a domestic goddess, I can't imagine anything worse than buffing my skirting boards every week.

picklemewalnuts · 05/09/2022 20:57

@Discovereads I disagree with you on almost everything, every time I bump into you on threads. However your situation really sucks. The reason I am clawing my house back from 'falling short' to almost clean is the possibility of moving.

I'd hate moving in to a house and not being able to get it squeaky clean before I unpacked (other peoples grot feels so much worse than your own!).
I wouldn't dream of leaving a mucky house for some poor soul to move in to. And I know there will be lots of cleaning that I can't do until moving day (under fridge etc) and can't face it being a bigger job than it has to be.

Tldr, Flowers

noclothesinbed · 05/09/2022 21:47

No one ever laid on their death bed and regretted no cleaning more

Cakeorchocolate · 05/09/2022 21:54

If you're OK with it then YANBU.

I clean my house less than you.
I used to clean it loads more but parenting and chronic illness have the better of me now and dh doesn't see the filth apparently. So I've had to have significantly lower standards than I would like. (Tried a cleaner once and their standards were less than mine so not worth the money. I keep thinking of trying another but its another job to sort and we can't really afford it now. )