To want one of those nice ones?

[SleepingStandingUp]

The well behaved type, that dances cutely on the picnic blanket not runs in the other direction. That walks nicely down the field and not throws themselves on the floor in front of the ice cream van. That sits and eats the nice picnic not declares yuk at everything and then cries for ice cream.
I know it's my fault, because I'm their parent. But I don't actually know what I did to end up with screamy, tantrummy, not eating ones.
They're 2.5 and it's just going to be worse once they're 3 isn't it?

Not necessarily. They may be getting it out of their system early.

For what it's worth I had one of each and used the same parenting on both.

Not necessarily. They may still be like that at 5! Mine is.

Haha, I had one of those two year olds. Thankfully by three he'd got it out of his system.

I know people who had those nice ones at 2/3 and at 7/8 now have a tantruming nightmare

I had beautiful young children, teenagers yuck.. aggressive horrid nasty pieces of crap.

Does that perfectly well-behaved child exist?!

I have the very well behaved type you describe in your op, I don't imagine it's my parenting, it's just the way they are.

They have other challenges, they can be easily pushed around, end up at the back of every line, a target for bullies etc. I've had to do lots to help with their assertiveness etc.

Angel in the early years, beast in the teens! I wouldn't assume that good kids turn out to be easier. In fact, from what I have seen its the ones that are over-controlled (behaviourally) that tend to end up with anxiety, eating issues etc in their teens.

There were twin girls about a year younger than my boys just dancing nicely by their parents, mine just never wanted to be in tbe same place or do the same thing. Ours also seemed to be the only ones screaming for god only knows what reason of injustice.

My oldest was like that at 2. He's now 14 and so grown and considerate. Also he wouldn't eat any vegetables except carrots and broccoli and now he eats anything as long as it's healthy and is constantly in the kitchen making smoothies or overnight oats. I learned that they change SO much so don't despair!

Ouch

I have one of these today ! Get in the car no, finally in the car get out no! Wouldn't walk wanted carrying ( I couldn't as needed a basket as didn't have change for a trolley ) so ended up getting back in car for another tantrum til she agreed to walk , eat your Dinner , no! Stop whacking the door with that bat ! No ! Put her into bed said fine lights out early bed ! No! Gets back up to get the bat had to leave my cuppa in the kitchen to get back off the sofa as I could see it going everywhere with tamanian no devil in my house 😮‍💨

I had one of each. The first needed manual handling, the second made everyone's heart melt. Same parenting, pure chance. As someone said upthread, around 7/8 #1 was behaving very maturely and reasonably in general and those in his cohort who hadn't taken such an extreme attitude to the early years were causing their parents to tear their hair out. #2 is currently around 7/8 and is trying out sneaky for size. Fortunately, I was expecting some kind of payback for the early years so it's not come as too much of a shock.
The nice ones are never all nice and vice versa with he naughties. Their time will come

Everyone has to pay their parenting dues at some point it’s just a case of when! There’s benefits to them getting it out of their system whilst still pint sized!

You’ve just described my 3rd child. He’s 7 now but oh my god the kid is an absolute Angel 😇. Sent from up above I’m sure of it. Just the most compliant and cutest kid ever. It’s just his temperament it’s not my parenting I can assure you 😂.

Child 1 and 2 were fairly typical kids and certainly had their moments at that age!

I've got 2 of each, 2 lovely behaved ones and 2 bordering on being feral. As I say to DH the good ones take after me 😇

Mine were worse at two than three. You never know, they might reboot themselves soon.

I know it’s hard but remember that whatever you see of other children is a snapshot of their day and not representative of the bigger picture. I’ll never forget the time I was having an awful day with my then 2 or 3 year old DD (she’s now 8!), tantrums, refusing to walk, asking for everything off the shop shelf, “mum mummy mum” every two seconds. I finally bribed her with the promise of a chocolate brownie when we got back to the car if she walked across the car park nicely holding my hand. In that 30-40 seconds we walked past another mum and toddler and I overheard her saying to her child, “See, why can’t you just walk nicely like that lovely little girl??” I had to stop ahs explain to her the day I’d been having and the chocolate brownie bribery!

I'm in my 40s and if I had the choice of a boring old picnic or ice cream from the ice cream van, I'd pick ice cream every time.

Stop framing it as being naughty and start thinking of it as 'expressing their opinion'. It sounds like something a twatish Instagramer would say, but actually works. Cos then you accept they're not doing it on purpose to annoy the shit out of you. I still tell my kids now that I don't want to go to the supermarket either when they start moaning, but it's tough shit, we need to eat.

@SleepingStandingUp I’m with you! My boys are 17 months apart and seem to of secretly agreed to never run in the same direction, never want to go to the same place as the other and anything else they can think of to make things more testing! They’re thick as thieves and there’s no doubt in my mind they’ve plotted this.

my DD is an angel child so I do have some hope I’m not just a shit mum. Infact, they’re angels when they’re apart. It’s just the running in opposite directions. Every. Single. Time.

@Theyellowshorts this is what a call the teachers perspective. My sister always had “free spirited, head strong” and similar on her school reports. She was a pain in the stubborn pain in the arse who wouldn’t do as she was told, but they always managed to put a positive spin on things.

Yes, that’s what my boys are; head strong. Bless them.

@Theyellowshorts I don’t know why that post jumbled my words up but hopefully you can make sense of it!

Both of mine were impeccably behaved at two and three and a lot of four. Then all hell broke loose.

It got better by five and a half with number one, waiting hopefully for the same result with number two. She seems made of sterner stuff though so who knows!

I think they all have to go through at some point- the ones who don’t are probably saving it up for the teenage years.

@Louise0701 I love the phrase "thick as thieves"! I've 2.5 year old twins, and I want them to be really good friends, so I Iove when I see them playing/plotting together.

@Apollonia1 there’s something very heartwarming about those times. Mine have sat and “read” to each other earlier this evening before bed and then one put his head on the others lap and had his hair stroked. It was so nice. That nice, I almost forgot that 3 hours earlier they were behaving like wrestlers in a ring, dressed in marvel costumes shouting “I will kill you! Die, Batman”