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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want one of those nice ones?

34 replies

SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2022 18:01

The well behaved type, that dances cutely on the picnic blanket not runs in the other direction. That walks nicely down the field and not throws themselves on the floor in front of the ice cream van. That sits and eats the nice picnic not declares yuk at everything and then cries for ice cream.
I know it's my fault, because I'm their parent. But I don't actually know what I did to end up with screamy, tantrummy, not eating ones.
They're 2.5 and it's just going to be worse once they're 3 isn't it?

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Apollonia1 · 04/09/2022 23:18

@Louise0701 that's so lovely! 😍 This evening, I saw one twin stroking the head of the other one. 30 mins later, one was biting the other one, as they fought over a book!

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2022 23:20

DieDeutschLehrerin · 04/09/2022 22:41

I had one of each. The first needed manual handling, the second made everyone's heart melt. Same parenting, pure chance. As someone said upthread, around 7/8 #1 was behaving very maturely and reasonably in general and those in his cohort who hadn't taken such an extreme attitude to the early years were causing their parents to tear their hair out. #2 is currently around 7/8 and is trying out sneaky for size. Fortunately, I was expecting some kind of payback for the early years so it's not come as too much of a shock.
The nice ones are never all nice and vice versa with he naughties. Their time will come

Interestingly half the shock is PFB was never this bad I don't think, or maybe he was singular and they're double so it feels worse but generally, I think he was easier. But at 7 he's def pushing his luck 😂😂😂

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Whoactuallythinksthat · 04/09/2022 23:23

I’ve got one of those and he’s 13 😬

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2022 23:24

Bernadinetta · 04/09/2022 22:58

I know it’s hard but remember that whatever you see of other children is a snapshot of their day and not representative of the bigger picture. I’ll never forget the time I was having an awful day with my then 2 or 3 year old DD (she’s now 8!), tantrums, refusing to walk, asking for everything off the shop shelf, “mum mummy mum” every two seconds. I finally bribed her with the promise of a chocolate brownie when we got back to the car if she walked across the car park nicely holding my hand. In that 30-40 seconds we walked past another mum and toddler and I overheard her saying to her child, “See, why can’t you just walk nicely like that lovely little girl??” I had to stop ahs explain to her the day I’d been having and the chocolate brownie bribery!

❤️

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Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2022 23:26

Louise0701 · 04/09/2022 23:03

@SleepingStandingUp I’m with you! My boys are 17 months apart and seem to of secretly agreed to never run in the same direction, never want to go to the same place as the other and anything else they can think of to make things more testing! They’re thick as thieves and there’s no doubt in my mind they’ve plotted this.

my DD is an angel child so I do have some hope I’m not just a shit mum. Infact, they’re angels when they’re apart. It’s just the running in opposite directions. Every. Single. Time.

One doesn't like it. They had a chat in Twin about going to the Silent Disco (yes, they're 2). T2 was trying to give T1 the headphones and telling him to get in, T1 wanted the headphones but outside. They can't even agree on silent disco 😂😂

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Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2022 23:28

Apollonia1 · 04/09/2022 23:08

@Louise0701 I love the phrase "thick as thieves"! I've 2.5 year old twins, and I want them to be really good friends, so I Iove when I see them playing/plotting together.

They're a similar age to my boys, do they talk to each other in Twin? They're language as in English is behind but they natter to each other fine 🙄

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Cass1ope1a · 04/09/2022 23:36

I’ve been worrying about this a lot with my 2!

They are 4.5 and nearly 3 and they are an absolute nightmare. The worst part is, I don’t know how they ended up like this. I think I am a good parent with firm, consistent rules etc. But somehow my kids are worse than everybody else’s! What did I do wrong!!!

whatwhhat · 04/09/2022 23:37

....you totally wouldn't want a boring child! Mine could be either depending on the day or moment you catch us! If you haven't had to sling a screaming toddler over your shoulder and make a hasty exit at some point you are definitely doing it wrong!

I am raising strong, assertive, independent people I tell myself through gritted teeth sometimes but mostly with my heart bursting with pride for something seemly minor like pouring their own drink or getting their shoes on the correct feet!

Tbf there's situations where I'd like to throw my self on the floor kicking and screaming but resist, let them get the most out of it while it's socially acceptable (which is totally easy for me to say when it's not my child or me dealing with it😅)

Original poster
SleepingStandingUp · 04/09/2022 23:45

..you totally wouldn't want a boring child! I mean, I'd give it a go. Devil Twins who are so bloody gorgeous so everyone thinks they must be angelic until they start, and a 7 yo who never stops making noise. Like not even chat or songs, sometimes just noise. There's a episode of Bluey called Mini Bluey where she's explaining to Bing how to be "Bluey" and she's talking about how she likes to talk all the time even if it doesn't make sense, ask qn but not listen to answers and just make repetitive sounds to fill any gaps. That's why the show is so clever because that's my 7 yo to a tee

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