To dread every waking moment with my DS

[Yankeecan]

My first child was an absolute dream. Never had any issues with her at all. My son is the absolute devil, I feel literally sapped to nothing every single day. He has the loudest scream ever and just won’t bloody give up! I’ve come to the toilet to hide whilst they eat tea. Development wise he is fine, counting past 10, saying lots of things etc and doing well on the potty….please somebody help!!!

Of course seven children raised in the same household isn't sufficient evidence to state there are sex based differences in behaviour.

There might be in your house, but then you're parenting from the point of view that there are sex based differences....bit of a catch 22!

What's he like at nursery?

My second ds was an absolute nightmare age 2 . But so easy as a teenager and wonderful as an adult. Time seems to go slowly when they are that age and it’s a struggle- but in reality they grow up so quickly

Testosterone levels in prepubescent children are the same in males and females, so it's not really a question of 'what people say' as what science has proven. Testosterone levels diverge after about age 10.

The boys in your life may well be more 'fighty' but it's not testosterone that's to blame! I'd maybe look at environment and parenting.

If it’s any consolation @Yankeecan one of my sons was absolutely appalling as a toddler, the kind of kid that if you’d had first would end up an only child…but he’s an absolute dream of a teenager and hasn’t been any bother for years.

You sound like me!

It does get better, but you have to be really strict, have the argument even when it's easier to give in and swear a lot when they can't hear you. We put him in nursery an extra day just to be able to relax and get stuff done for a day.
My dc2 is/was such a nightmare but he is also very loving and thoughtful.

What a horrible thing to say about your child!

Seriously nuff said. You talk utter rubbish. Saying have a look at parenting is a low blow and just bloody nasty. How do you explain boys always winning at sports day in the sprints from even reception age. Everywhere around me I see little girls sitting and colouring while boys smash things together. I have two boys and a girl in the middle. Guess which ones wrestle.

@GiltEdges oh give over! I’ve said worse under my breath!

It's not utter rubbish, it's utter fact.

Testosterone levels only diverge around puberty. I'm sorry that doesn't fit with your world view, but that's the fact.

I would look at how you're parenting if you've raised two violent boys and one angelic girl whilst holding the incorrect view that their behaviour is testosterone based.

And boys don't show any advantage in sport until puberty or thereabouts. There's lots of research into that too. It's just not true.

I agree with this. I know quite a number of people who had a girl or two, and then had a boy, and they said if they had had the boy first, they'd never have had another child. The girls were an absolute dream compared to the boy. Not perfect behaviour all the time, but very good behaviour most of the time. The boy is/was disruptive, screechy, ranty, prone to throwing tantrums, and they seem to stay with the demanding 'toddler like' behaviour til they're about 6 or 7. Unlike the girls who grow out of it by 3.

Judging by the bother some parents have had with boys (especially moreso if they're a second or third child,) I am really glad I had girls! They have had their moments, but compared to the behaviour of some boys I know, and the stress they have put their parents under, mine are absolute Angels.

I saw a woman the other day with a little girl - around 8 years old, and a boy who can't have been more than 18 months younger who was being an absolute demon. Screaming and shouting and hitting his mum, and throwing himself on the floor, and throwing stuff around. The little girl was on a bike (without stabilisers,) and she seemed quite advanced and sensible for around 8, chattering to the swans, and tootling along on her bike...

The boy (who was at LEAST 6 and a half - or maybe even 7,) was like a screechy 2 year old toddler. Dreadful behaviour. The mum was frazzled and very red faced with anger from him. I felt sorry for the girl to be honest, she was being mostly ignored, because her mum was too busy trying to placate her brother.

I don't know why it is, but yes I agree that girls are usually MUCH easier to look after, than boys, especially when they're. say, under 10. The girls are a bit more difficult during the teen years, and are meaner to one another than boys are, but then when the girls are grown, they tend to be a bit more loyal than boys (regarding staying in touch, coming around to see you, and being in your life more.) Not ALL of them, but moreso than not IYSWIM.

@Yankeecan Sorry, no advice, expect roll with the punches. You're not alone. As a number of posters have said, boys can be very difficult and are more likely to be hard work than girls. (Again, not ALWAYS, but moreso than not!)

disclaimer All of the above based on my own experience and that of quite a number of people I know/have known.

You don’t know the first thing about my kids or what they are like. So seriously stop getting personal and trying to shift blame onto parent for observing very obvious differences in their children. It’s people like you that give sites like this a bad name.

Just wanted to add, some boys are lovely, and are NOT hard work/a bloody nightmare , but just that girls are more likely to be easy children than boys. JME and JMO.

I called my son an arse, you’re good hun!

Hmmm I wonder why this is?

😬😂 Aww thanks! I don't mean to be horrid in what I said, and as i say, some boys are fine. I am going on my own anecdotes/experience that's all, and as a few posters have said, some demon boys will be lovely teenagers and young adult men, so I am sure yours will be an Angel in a few years!

What a ridiculous statement .

I think @Sunnyqueen should have said 'in my experience.' I don't think she meant offence.

I feel terrible now, please tell me you also mutter things under your breath when you reach breaking point?

OP, good on you for standing your ground! It is so important that women feel able to say honest things like this and admit that their little darlings are sometimes a relief to be away from.

God yes!

I know only what you've told me, which is that boys, in your experience, are 'fighty' and wrestle and girls are not physical or 'fighty' and like colouring.

If I'd produced children like this I would look inward at my parenting, any normal person would. Particularly, if they've always believed that this was due to testosterone and have now discovered it isn't. Surely you want to discover what is driving this behaviour? It isn't testosterone, so maybe the answer lies in the environment or parenting.

My first boy was a placid baby, tyrant toddler and now a fairly well behaved preschooler. My second son... Where do I start. I had to carry him in a sling for the first 6 months of his life otherwise he would scream blue murder. He is 18 months now and extremely clingy and fussy. He gives amazing cuddles and kisses which mostly makes up for being a diffcult demon child. Im hoping he will be a dream teenager to make up for it😂. The only thing that helped was councelling and anti depressants for post natal depression and now I'm through that, having hobbies and getting out to work and to meet friends for respite helps immensely. Its so tough, hang on in there.

I mutter FFS or FML a million times a day😂

I think some kids are just much harder than others.

DD is incredibly hard work, always has been. She needs huge amounts of input and attention and gets hugely, hugely jealous. Everything is a drama. Etc etc. I find her exhausting.

DS is so chilled, he just goes with the flow most of the time. Piece of cake to look after compared to DD.