I'm not okay.

[FeatherBlower]

How do you relieve stress when you can't fix the issues that are causing you stress?

I'm not sleeping, my toddler son may have a serious health issue, I have minus pounds in my account, I have insomnia, I am developing a stress-related eating disorder, I hate myself, I have no family around and few friends, my husband is working away and cannot come back (forces).

Stress is getting to me and I don't know how to deal with it. What steps do I take to try and make myself better? I don't know how to fix it. Please don't suggest that I go on drugs from the GP, I have had them previously and they made me unwell. I want to try and get things under control a little bit more first.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I agree with others to tackle the sleep first. I completely relate to the feeling of things unravelling. When I had a load of problems, plus crippling insomnia, I couldn't deal with any of it because I was so zombified I felt utterly out of it and disconnected. Like a PP, I was prescribed Mirtazapine and although it's not for everyone, it was like a wonder drug for me. I immediately slept better and could see clearly enough to sort everything else out. Agree it's not ideal to binge eat and take that at the same time, but it will be easier to tackle the binge eating once you're sleeping. One thing at a time! xx

So many suggestions, Feather, that this might be a bit overwhelming and will take a while to unpack, but each of them has worked for someone, and might well work for you
What I am always amazed by is how very very supportive MN can be when someone asks for help.

Keep talking to us, we are on your side

Take a methylcobalamin (vitamin B12) supplement and a Vitamin D supplement. Helped me massively.

I hear you OP. Sleep is the bedrock. Makes everything better when you have some and everything worse when you don't.

The walk, walk, walk advice is good - and I'd also say weights. Doesn't have to be gym weights.

YouTube can be a good resource. I often feel calmer if I play very low volume ADHD focus tracks. It just helps me get my head a bit more round things and not feel so blocked or overwhelmed.

I know some posters have suggested counselling and cost-wise it sounds like that's not an option except through NHS. I just want to say keep an open mind in case you come across something.There are low cost options out there

I had a stress induced 'unravelling' period a while back. I was very close to the edge but didn't want to use medication. I used natural remedies, different ones work for different people so may be trial and error but bach's flower remedies help me. They do a sleep remedy which is a spray so can easily use in the middle of the night. I would put lavender essential oils in the bottom of the shower (with the plug in) so like a steam inhalation. Google bach's flower remedies for the explanation and one might jump out at you, mimulus helped me, also writing things down and learning some mindfulness techniques for the middle of the night when things won't stop going round and round in your head. Much like another poster said I reached the point where I could say 'stop' I'm not going down that route and turn my brain off, sleep usually followed quite quickly then. It took a few months but eventually I felt more 'normal' and managed to keep it to myself and a best friend that I talked things through with who understood the complicated situation that I was in.
I totally get the sugar thing too, can't say I've fully cured that but if you can keep it to earlier in the day it may help as I found a lot of sugar in the evening also kept me awake. 💐

What a terrible spiral you've ended up in. I really feel for you. You do need help, it's too hard to do this on your own.

I trained as a counsellor but didn't really practice so not qualified advice but.... NHS treatment is usually CBT, it's good to sort short term problems which might allow you to get in a position where you can sort the big issues, but it's not really helpful for the big issues. You sound like an intelligent person so you'd probably get a lot of the benefit from a book or online course whilst you wait for a referal.

Similarly anti depressants can't solve problems but can get you to a place where you can deal with them.

Sleep is a huge one. There have been lots of great suggestions, at the risk of overload I'd also suggest looking into the study publicised by Michael Mossley (the 5:2 diet guy) which showed taking certain gut bacteria can have a remarkable effect on the sort of sleep disruption you're describing.

I'm so sorry about your child's health worries, this doesn't sound like something you can greatly influence. If you can think rationally for a while write down what you can do and when (chase results, attend appointments, etc) and when you're at a point where there is nothing else you can do right now be firm with yourself, tell yourself you've done everything you can and distract yourself. Meditation is excellent but it's a hard skill to learn when you're in a state.

I really hope you can get some help and make a little progress. A tiny step up instead of down every day makes a huge difference over time.

Just came back to see how you were OP

Hope you got some sleep and have managed to contact some of the services mentioned, and that you find some things that can help

Thank you. I appreciate it. My laptop broke today and it had some really important stuff on it, including my work which I’d like to start up again one day. It tipped me over the edge and I had a breakdown. I need to sort myself out. I got in touch with the GP to push about my sons health so that’s a start!