AIBU to ask for urgent advice, is my neighbour a stalker.

[CandyFloss35]

I have name changed as for anybody that knows me this is very outing but I am extremely worried, the man is very strange and seems obsessed with watching my house and the people in it. I will list a few examples and please tell me if you think this is stalking and how I should deal with it.

• Following us in the car.
• If he over hears the kids saying we are doing an activity say ice skating he turns up.
• Watches us in the garden from the back bedroom window, every time someone is outside.
• comes out of his house when it is dark and listens and looks at our windows. (I know he does this as have a ring doorbell, my house is the last house on the road just trees at the end and no houses opposite as it’s a one sided lane so only my house he could be looking at.) He has rang the bell (I did not answer ) he called me a “stuck up evil c**)
• He has rang social services more than 5 times since the start of July reporting nonsense. (They investigated by ringing school, GP, police visits to the address etc etc first time everything was ok, malicious call no further action.) They now just ring me to say he has done it again for my own records.
• He rang the police and reported someone from my household verbally abusing him, but he wasn’t sure who it was or if it was an adult or child but they definitely lived at our address. The police saw straight through this but he insisted they came round for a chat which they did. The police gave us advice on how to deal with him but said it’s best not to aggravate the situation by reporting him formally and we should try and keep the peace. I have evidence of the verbal abuse, him watching my house, him plotting outside my front door about setting us us up with the police, I reported him at ice skating for following my kids around the rink trying to talk to them. I could film him watching us out the bedroom window but I think that is possibly illegal.

I am scared and as the police are being useless, I am at a loss of what to do, if anyone has any experience please could you advise.

I would request to see someone higher up in the police force to explain the situation. I take it there's nothing to worry about under Claires law re.children. Did he take his kids to the ice-skating, or just appear by himself?

nannyogg

Civil action will be far more expensive. Being off work with stress will be far more expensive. Paying for sessions with a paediatric psychologist will be far more expensive. I don't think everyone in Ukraine could afford to move. The police will not help. Sometimes you have to take a financial hit.

The police gave us advice on how to deal with him but said it’s best not to aggravate the situation by reporting him formally and we should try and keep the peace.

There's your proof that the police won't help. I've pushed this personally and low level stalking with no criminal damage or violence will not lead to a complaint being backed up. It's not the kind of thing they are required to act upon.

And they're highly unlikely to read your harassment diary and treat it as an accumulation of events. They should but they won't. What you read on the internet is not what they do in practice. The threshold for criminal action is ridiculously high. It would be different if he was trying to hurt you and breaking your windows but he's far too clever. Even if they wanted to, there's not much they can really do.

By asking her to move, do you recommend moving to different area or different city ?
it always worries me what if he finds her in the new area ? Or do these stalker rely on distance ?

MumToBe2002

FFS did you not notice that the this thread was last updated in September 2022????????

Isn’t good to know what OP did at the end ? And if she end up moving, is it just to different area ? What if he finds out ?
just curious, as I have experienced something similar x

Tell your husband everything about this right now

Just noticed the date on this (slaps forehead)

Quite honestly, he needs a battering. But other than that, go back to the police. What an absolute freak. I feel for you, OP. This is horrible.