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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my weekend ruined by a bunch of flowers

71 replies

DigitalGoat · 03/09/2022 09:42

I was off work most of last week but got an email from my office manager to say that a client's partner had brought flowers in for me as a thank you for helping them, and that she had put them in water.

Got into the office Friday, flowers lovely, no label but manager had put a post it note with client's name on. I took them home. Emailed the client and their partner to say thank you. At the time something didn't feel quite right, as I hadn't dealt with this particular client for 2 months but to be fair we had had a pretty good result for them at that point. I took everything at face value.

Woke up this morning with a really uneasy feeling, remembered that we have another client with a very similar surname, and their first names begin with the same letter. I dealt with them more recently. Having re-read my manager's email, the description of what I'm being thanked for would fit that client slightly better. I have a feeling it might have been this client and my manager or whoever accepted the flowers got her wires crossed. That would mean I had thanked a client for flowers they didn't send and blanked the one who did.

My manager is now in Spain for 2 weeks so I can't ask her for a description of the person who came in with the flowers.

I can't really email someone and ask if they sent me flowers...

I'm cringing just thinking about it now and don't know what to do.

YABU - just forget about it
YANBU - try to sort it out (but how???)

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
Rainbowcat99 · 03/09/2022 10:34

The one that didn't send you the flowers will be confused for a second when they got your message and guess you've thanked the wrong person. They will now be thinking maybe they should they have sent you flowers two months ago!

You might end up with a second bunch of flowers!! 😂

CuriousMama · 03/09/2022 10:35

KermitlovesKeyLimePie · 03/09/2022 09:59

If this is what it takes to ruin a weekend, I want your life.

Just thank the person you think it is and forget about it.

Drama much?

I know right 🤣

lohaspark · 03/09/2022 10:49

what's the big deal ?

The client who wrongly received the message will think good of you that someone valued your services.

ThePastafarian · 03/09/2022 10:55

I know how you feel! I'm socially awkward and anxious - can cope with all manner of practical disaster calmly, but having to negotiate the humans and looking/feeling like a teat sends me into a tailspin.

I'd email the second client saying "I received some flowers from a client but the person who took them was a little confused on which client it was - they're lovely so if they're from you then tank you very much - and if not, apologies for disturbing you ". You could send similar to the first person, although I get that that feels more awkward!

ThePastafarian · 03/09/2022 10:56

*twat not teat

DappledThings · 03/09/2022 10:56

Blimey. From the thread title I thought something awful must have happened with a jealous, abusive partner reacting to you getting flowers.

A mildly awkward situation solvable by a quick email should not be ruining your weekend.

Beautiful3 · 03/09/2022 10:56

Thank the right person. When you know which is the wrong client, just message saying, "Sorry, that message was meant for another client with the same surname!" No worries.

Isittrueornot · 03/09/2022 10:57

The wrong client will say your welcome and take credit, no biggie. In the meantime contact the right client and say thanks.

Your over thinking this, it’s not a big deal

WeepingSomnambulist · 03/09/2022 10:57

This has ruined your weekend?

Seriously? This is a non event. No one cares. Grow up.

RogueV · 03/09/2022 10:58

Weekend ruined indeed 😂

Asurvivor · 03/09/2022 10:59

If this would really ruin your weekend OP, then it sounds like you suffer from catastrophic thinking. Most other posters would not see this isn’t a big deal (and it really isn’t), but I can understand this situation could be a huge source of anxiety for you.
Maybe it is time to look into getting some help to manage your catastrophic thoughts and have for yourself an easier and calmer life. There are plenty of resources online if money is tight.

Asurvivor · 03/09/2022 11:00

Typo! Meant to write most other posters wouldn’t see this as a big deal

bingobanjo · 03/09/2022 11:15

I had to comment just to say I’m the exact same with things like that! This would also ruin my weekend, I’d be riddled with anxiety about the potential faux pas. I can be up all night going round in circles about whether or not I should message someone something or other, and I hate those chain reactions of confusing social situations than can be triggered from something like this. So you have my sympathy OP, and I think everyone saying it’s a ridiculous thing to worry about probably doesn’t know how intense social anxiety can feel and how difficult it is to just put to the side!

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 03/09/2022 11:16

ThePastafarian · 03/09/2022 10:55

I know how you feel! I'm socially awkward and anxious - can cope with all manner of practical disaster calmly, but having to negotiate the humans and looking/feeling like a teat sends me into a tailspin.

I'd email the second client saying "I received some flowers from a client but the person who took them was a little confused on which client it was - they're lovely so if they're from you then tank you very much - and if not, apologies for disturbing you ". You could send similar to the first person, although I get that that feels more awkward!

This is massively overthinking and will end up making you look like a bigger numpty.

The second client has no clue that an email has been sent to the wrong person, and wouldn’t care anyway. You aren’t “disturbing” them by sending an email.

All you would need to do is resend the original message to the right client and then completely forget about it for the total non-event that it is.

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 03/09/2022 11:19

Send "Sorry, there was a bit of miscommunication about some flowers in the office." to the wrong one, and to the right one "Thank you for the flowers blah blah blah"

Luredbyapomegranate · 03/09/2022 11:21

SomethingVexesThee · 03/09/2022 09:56

Just send a thank you to the client you now think it is Smile And stop stressing!

The "wrong" client will no doubt respond saying that it wasn't them, and you can just reply along the lined a of "Oh right, must have been a mix up with the message when I was on leave! Hope you're well, etc etc"

Yes this

Mountains out of molehills OP - stop all the drama

zingally · 03/09/2022 11:32

Simply message the client you now think it is, "did you send some flowers?! Thank you, they're beautiful! Hope you're well. Kind regards, OP."

If either party replies that it wasn't them, reply with a simple, "Whoops! Someone must have got their messages mixed up! Have a good week! OP."

If this is all it takes to ruin your weekend, can we swap lives please?

Taillighttoobright · 03/09/2022 11:38

This is exactly the sort of thing I would agonise about. I envy people who can just breeze on without worrying, but they do. I'd do nothing, but worry about it until a binge-watch of something drove a wedge between the worrisome now and a less paranoid evening!

RedHelenB · 03/09/2022 11:40

The solution is obvious, thank the other client as well. Better to thank the wrong person than be seen as rude not thanking at all.

luckylavender · 03/09/2022 11:53

People are being so rude to the OP. We have no idea what industry she works in and what the politics are, so I can imagine this could be stressful.

PortalooSunset · 03/09/2022 11:58

I'm really struggling to understand your problem. Just send another thank you email to the other person. How is this a big deal that's ruined your weekend?!

Caroffee · 03/09/2022 12:06

There's no issue here. Just send a thank you email to the other client as well. The first client won't mind being thanked for something they haven't done.

katishot · 03/09/2022 12:16

Why is the weekend ruined?
Just email the other client on Monday and thank them.
And the client you thanked who didn't send them won't be bothered - will just assume there has been a mix up.

Blowthemandown · 03/09/2022 12:17

SomethingVexesThee · 03/09/2022 09:56

Just send a thank you to the client you now think it is Smile And stop stressing!

The "wrong" client will no doubt respond saying that it wasn't them, and you can just reply along the lined a of "Oh right, must have been a mix up with the message when I was on leave! Hope you're well, etc etc"

@DigitalGoat exactly this! Nobody will be offended.

CakeCrumbs44 · 03/09/2022 12:18

Just send a thank you to the other client as well. Nobody will be offended by getting a thank you for something they didn't send, surely they'll just think "oh they must have sent it to the wrong email address" and move on.