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Original poster

To ask what is the pettiest thing you’ve done?

470 replies

LadyCampanulaTottington · 03/09/2022 08:51

My petty crown that I wear with pride is when confronted (or rear fronted?) by a car driving up my arse, I slow down and if they don’t back off I continue to drive as slow as legally possible just to make a point.

Even if you haven’t acted on it, what’s the pettiest thing you’ve considered doing?

OP posts:
EVHead · 04/09/2022 09:33

@minticecreamisjustok
Years ago when I was a Learner driver, my instructor was really impatient with me and had the cheek to call me a brainless cow, at the end of the lesson I got out, walked off and left my car door wide open so he'd have to get out and shut it.

Wouldn’t he have had to get out of the car anyway to move to the driver’s seat?

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 04/09/2022 09:44

Many years ago Ihad a student job working as a waitress in French speaking Switzerland. Most of the customers were lovely except one particularly obnoxious, loud group of Americans, none of whom spoke a word of French. I had great fun pretending I didn’t speak a word of English (I was a bit like Manuel!). My boss laughed herself silly at the till!

QueSyrahSyrah · 04/09/2022 09:46

giveovernate · 04/09/2022 07:08

Small office, just five people. We would take it in turns to make tea, one guy wouldn't make it for anyone so he was then excluded from the tea rounds. So, if he put the kettle on and walked away, someone would turn it off. If we made tea and there was enough milk for him to make his, we would throw it away, he'd then have to go and get more from the shop.

Might have been easier to be a team player and just make every fifth round of drinks.

So because he preferred to make his own cup rather than be in the rounds the other 4 of you bullied him? Weird. Maybe he just liked his tea a particular way so easier to make it himself?

coolcahuna · 04/09/2022 09:48

Shlomping1234 · 03/09/2022 09:48

My ex used to like a drink in the evenings. If he pissed me off, I used to shake random cans before going to bed. Then lay there giggling when he'd open one and hear him swearing when it exploded over him 🤣
I also pissed in his running bath once 🤣

You've just made me cry laughing!

Arbesque · 04/09/2022 09:58

QueSyrahSyrah · 04/09/2022 09:46

So because he preferred to make his own cup rather than be in the rounds the other 4 of you bullied him? Weird. Maybe he just liked his tea a particular way so easier to make it himself?

Show quote history

I agree.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 04/09/2022 10:00

Long, long, long time ago (‘85 ish ) went out with a male hairdresser. Always late, full of crap excuses why he was; got stopped by the police driving up a one way street the wrong way, fell asleep in the bath and other such porkies. For Christmas bought me a Swatch watch. Stopped seeing him some weeks later.

anyhooooo found he’d been two timing me with someone and hey ho had bought her the VERY same watch for Christmas. Rude eh ?

anyway probably a year later , my friends and I booked him up on a Saturday at his salon. A curly perm. A dye job. Several hair cuts - you get the picture.

And of course we never turned up. Soz pal but learn some manners in love 🥳

sad of me but there you go🤣

moonfacebaby · 04/09/2022 10:04

I had a spiteful friend when I was 10 years old. After a build up of her being horrible and not listening to me telling her she wasn’t very nice, I took her PE kit off her peg, scaled the top of a cubicle in the girls loos, and lifted a ceiling panel to shove it inside. It stayed up there for a week before magically reappeared on her peg.

MrsDanversRidesAgain · 04/09/2022 10:07

Husband moved out to be with the OW when I was at work, packed all the important stuff (golfclubs and football trophies) and left me a note on the dining room table to say he 'couldn't do this any more.' He left behind a gold coin that he'd bought as an investment.

I sold it and treated myself, tehn told him I hadn't seen it, had he asked OW what she'd done with it?

Bouncealot · 04/09/2022 10:13

I worked in an office where a man put up ‘page3’ pictures next to his desk. A few of us complained, but the boss ignored us. One evening after everyone went home I took a marker pen and drew bikinis and swimsuits on the models.

Motnight · 04/09/2022 10:18

My dh bought me a Kindle for a special birthday nearly 10 years ago. He said that the present included all the books that I would ever read via it. Every time he really annoys me I smile and go upstairs and order a few more books.

Disclaimer I do love him and he's great, but he can be very annoying.

Vecnasnurse · 04/09/2022 10:18

Ex dp is an unorganised, chaotic, selfish, arrogant mess. He will often lose dcs clothes, toys and even once an inhaler and then just shrug and say "it's not my fault, I didn't do it on purpose" and because he's perpetually skint it's always me that has to replace it. However, it also works the other way and I will occasionally find some of his stuff in with the dcs when I collect them. His beloved hat that he's had for several years and wears almost every day? In the bin. Random tools and important letters that got stuffed into the dcs bag? No idea mate, perhaps you left it with dd's inhaler.

G5000 · 04/09/2022 10:21

This Friday I was driving home and overtaking some slower cars when a young male twat appears, clearly significantly over the speed limit, in one of those cars that sounds like the muffler is broken. Flashes his lights, tailgates me. The slow lane was very busy so I could not even reasonably merge there at that very moment, even if I wanted to. And I didn't.

I saw the car was not local (I'm in Switzerland and each canton has its own license plates). So I drove carefully at the speed limit for a couple of km, while the twat is getting more and more agitated, flashing lights and shaking his head. Then I pulled into the slow lane. He goes roaring past...and is flashed by the speed camera all locals know to avoid. In Switzerland, this will be very, very expensive.

Elphame · 04/09/2022 10:22

Arbesque · 04/09/2022 09:58

I agree.

Show quote history

Yes me too.

I hate the “tea bag dunked in a cup” type of tea so it was always easier to make my own. I had a special office china teapot. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to faff around with it on my account.

Luckily my colleagues were adults (and I did spot one or two using my teapot for their own tea at times!)

x2boys · 04/09/2022 10:29

Thisbastardcomputer · 04/09/2022 09:30

Pissed on the husband's tooth brush after he'd done something, can't remember what but I don't let him get away with anything

Why would you even post something like this ?
Vile if its true 🙄

PixellatedPixie · 04/09/2022 10:29

RicherThanYew · 03/09/2022 09:43

My former colleague was a rude, nasty and entitled individual who would ask people to make them tea by literally emailing us with the word "tea", or better yet, clicking their fingers and saying "tea". When I was making a round, I'd always add a shit tonne of milk to the dry teabag and extra sugar.
The biggest petty thing I ever did was when my sister died, she was 35. Her biological father destroyed the flowers that were put there, even the ones left by her 3 children, he owned the grave so h3 could do this and he said he would never give permission for anyone to leave anything there. It has been years and the plot has nothing on it, no cross or headstone, it's blank. I bought the plot next to her and paid for a headstone aswell, he went fucking batshit, but her kids have somewhere beautiful to lay flowers now.

You are a genius! Your sister’s children are very fortunate to have you as an aunt!

KimberleyClark · 04/09/2022 10:33

x2boys · 04/09/2022 10:29

Why would you even post something like this ?
Vile if its true 🙄

Show quote history

I have to agree, there are some great stories here but a few have crossed the line from pettiness into vindictiveness.

MrsDanversRidesAgain · 04/09/2022 10:35

I don't let him get away with anything

Don't you sound lovely. Not.

stopitleaveitgetdown · 04/09/2022 10:36

@absolutelyanythingwilldo ahhh I love this! 🤣🤣

JimJamJollyWolly · 04/09/2022 10:39

Yeah, I think this thread was supposed to be light-hearted, paid the rude shopkeeper in coppers type of thing (my gran always got rid of her smash when a shopkeeper was rude 😁). But some posts made me feel uncomfortable to read, bullying and vindictiveness isn't petty. It's just nasty.

lightisnotwhite · 04/09/2022 10:49

QueSyrahSyrah · 04/09/2022 09:46

So because he preferred to make his own cup rather than be in the rounds the other 4 of you bullied him? Weird. Maybe he just liked his tea a particular way so easier to make it himself?

Show quote history

Yes this one is odd. I mean he’s saving you a job of making his tea. Why do you care if he makes his own?

Viostep · 04/09/2022 10:55

My younger sister and I get along fine now but when we were teenagers she was a bit of a bully to me. She'd constantly call me an idiot, would say eww at me, call me fat, ugly etc. She'd stand outside my bedroom door and repeat the word fat. I used to put headphones on whenever I ventured out of my room so I wouldn't have to listen to her.

She would make herself pasta for dinner after school and any time she left the kitchen I'd go in and spit in the pot. Petty but satisfying. Although I'm sure she did similar to me as I once found a nail in my bed 😆

Pinkglittery · 04/09/2022 10:56

@Motnight totally missing the point but what a lovely present from your DH! A really nice idea.

My petty thing is that when I brush my teeth, I deliberately use DP's towel to wipe my mouth on instead of mine. It gives me a tiny little feeling of satisfaction every night Grin

2emanwen · 04/09/2022 11:05

Dadaya · 03/09/2022 11:39

I applied for a summer job in a shop which was advertised with an hourly wage. But they paid me a monthly salary the same as the other staff (they took the annual salary and divided it by 12).

Long story short, I ended up about £100 worse off than if they’d paid me on an hourly basis as advertised, and when I complained they said it was tough. So I threw hundreds of pounds worth of stock in the bin. Cost them a fortune. I didn’t take any of the stuff. Didn’t want it. I binned it out of pure petty spite because they were scamming me out of my wages and I thought one way or another you’re going to pay that £100.

the thought that 'hundreds of pounds worth of stock' actually fit the bin is ludicrous but the thought that a summer sales assistant would be alone in the right place for long enoigh, moving
hundreds of pounds worth of stock anywhere without being noticed or questioned is nuts.

ALL that and noone investigated?
this should have gone
in the thread about things noone would believe happened if you told them. 😂😂

(waiting to hear it was a terribly expensive shop)

Nightynightnight · 04/09/2022 11:06

mrtumblescrackdealer · 03/09/2022 23:40

Was working in an office when a new person transferred from a different office. We were told that this particular person was an office genius, knew everything about the project, could do it with his eyes closed.Turns out new bloke knew next to nothing and was as arrogant as they come. He used to prance around the office with his car keys in his hand because he drove a Porsche amongst other things. Most of us thought he had been transferred because he had made an arse of himself in the other office. We were almost certainly right.

So one night I made up a load of business cards advertising new blokes services as a telephone gay male prostitute with a particular penchant for BDSM and liking it hard. With his office phone number as the contact number. The cards went up in every single phone box I could find on my way home that night. Childish, yes but new bloke was such a git he deserved it. The next day was just epic. He received so many phonecalls (there were a lot of cards and a lot of phoneboxes) he spent most of his day dealing with said calls. When he wasn't dealing with said calls he was going around the office trying to find out who was responsible.

Not long after the phone incident, he never turned up for work one day and that was the last we ever heard about him. I never fessed up either that I was behind it either.

That's not petty. That's psychotic.

WeeOrcadian · 04/09/2022 11:11

I don't know if mine is petty but it made me deliriously happy.

My egg donor is toxic and I cut contact with her a few years ago.
She has never met my DC, nor do they even know that she exists.
She's the kind that will martyr herself, just to say that she's helped / done X Y or Z.

We happen to both be in a swap group on FB and I'd offered some stuff in there. She PMd me offering me what I'd asked for, no mention of the swap. I ignored the PM, left it on unread.

Fastforward and she's left the things she'd offered me, with a relative, with the message "these are for Wee, she'll understand".
I took them.
Then drove to her house and left them on the step.
I suspect she actually bought at least one of the things, she tends to 'buy love' but she can fuck off, I wouldn't ask her for anything if she was the last person on earth.