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Original poster

To ask what is the pettiest thing you’ve done?

470 replies

LadyCampanulaTottington · 03/09/2022 08:51

My petty crown that I wear with pride is when confronted (or rear fronted?) by a car driving up my arse, I slow down and if they don’t back off I continue to drive as slow as legally possible just to make a point.

Even if you haven’t acted on it, what’s the pettiest thing you’ve considered doing?

OP posts:
Glitteringapples · 04/09/2022 07:16

My FIL is a horrible, nasty narcissistic bully. On his last visit I purposefully prepared overtly fatty/sugary meals and treats for him which he couldn’t resist but which I knew would give him crippling indigestion.

anotherbrewplease · 04/09/2022 07:40

@Draughtycatflapreturns

Absolutely brilliant!! I think that basically you need to be the boss as you're waaay smarter than him - a big well done from me Grin

RedRec · 04/09/2022 08:05

mrtumblescrackdealer · 03/09/2022 23:40

Was working in an office when a new person transferred from a different office. We were told that this particular person was an office genius, knew everything about the project, could do it with his eyes closed.Turns out new bloke knew next to nothing and was as arrogant as they come. He used to prance around the office with his car keys in his hand because he drove a Porsche amongst other things. Most of us thought he had been transferred because he had made an arse of himself in the other office. We were almost certainly right.

So one night I made up a load of business cards advertising new blokes services as a telephone gay male prostitute with a particular penchant for BDSM and liking it hard. With his office phone number as the contact number. The cards went up in every single phone box I could find on my way home that night. Childish, yes but new bloke was such a git he deserved it. The next day was just epic. He received so many phonecalls (there were a lot of cards and a lot of phoneboxes) he spent most of his day dealing with said calls. When he wasn't dealing with said calls he was going around the office trying to find out who was responsible.

Not long after the phone incident, he never turned up for work one day and that was the last we ever heard about him. I never fessed up either that I was behind it either.

Some of these are cruel but this is the absolute worst. How could you be so vile? Yes, he sounds like an arse but no-one deserves to be treated that.

FourChimneys · 04/09/2022 08:13

RedRec Oh, come on. How many of these stories do you actually believe? Just treat this thread as a bit of fluffy fiction.

RedRec · 04/09/2022 08:16

FourChimneys · 04/09/2022 08:13

RedRec Oh, come on. How many of these stories do you actually believe? Just treat this thread as a bit of fluffy fiction.

Yes it has been generally funny and fluffy and I was enjoying it until that one.

absolutelyanythingwilldo · 04/09/2022 08:21

I worked on till in a fast food place in a mall. There was another fast food place next to us. It was quiet, we had no customers but I could hear a customer shouting at the next door place "doesn't anyone speak any fucking English here?". He'd obviously gone off in a huff and moments later was standing in front of me.

Him, gesturing next door:"None of them can speak any English".

Me: "Qué?"

ItsAutumnThen · 04/09/2022 08:25

Great thread!

Years ago, a white van parked just a few inches away from my car on the driver's side. So, I got into my car from the other side and climbed over to the driver's seat, opened the window and wrote 'TWAT' on the van in pink lipstick.

KittyCatsby · 04/09/2022 08:29

Going through the state of heading towards divorce , so arguing etc.
Make the decision to part. Had a big argument about all the wrongs in our relationship. I storm about the house , collect a few things the mil had got us as presents over the years , open the back door and start throwing them out saying I've always hated them , glasses , ornaments , photo frames etc , all winged out to smash on the patio. Not my finest moment !

Lagattolove · 04/09/2022 08:29

GingerAndLemonn · 03/09/2022 16:21

Sometimes I start a small fight with my husband because when he’s really mad at me he deep cleans the house.

Are you me? 😂He is also very very susceptible to suggestion for example watching tv and I’ll comment on how clean an oven is on a cooking program. 5 minutes later his rubber gloves are on and the oven pride is out. So easy!

Poppins2016 · 04/09/2022 08:36

In an old job, we used to do tea and coffee rounds. A colleague sometimes didn't say thank you, so on those occasions I'd always neglect to ask him if he wanted a drink when I next did a round.

SouperNoodle · 04/09/2022 08:49

absolutelyanythingwilldo · 04/09/2022 08:21

I worked on till in a fast food place in a mall. There was another fast food place next to us. It was quiet, we had no customers but I could hear a customer shouting at the next door place "doesn't anyone speak any fucking English here?". He'd obviously gone off in a huff and moments later was standing in front of me.

Him, gesturing next door:"None of them can speak any English".

Me: "Qué?"

😂😂😂😂

beingsunny · 04/09/2022 08:51

My ex and I bought a very expensive car together, when I told him it was over and asked him to move out he agreed to sell the car and split the money.

He had me pay the tax, insurance, service, and have the brakes done as they were almost due.

He took the car and I set up the advert, a couple of months went by and it still wasn't sold.

He tried gaslighting me that it wasn't worth what we both knew it was and made a really low valuation then deducted a whole bunch of costs he wanted money back for modification we had made.

So at 6am on a Saturday morning I reduced the price to the ridiculous amount he told me it was worth and responded to each of the 50 plus messages with a copy and paste of his phone number.

He had so many calls he had to turn his phone off for the whole weekend before he called and cancelled the advert.

He was an abusive narcissist who screwed me every which way, but this gave me a bit of a happy moment.

SouperNoodle · 04/09/2022 08:53

Just remember another!
I was staying at a boyfriend's house in my early twenties. He'd just made us a cup of tea and we were sat in his bedroom watching movies on his laptop.
A message popped up on messenger from a girl and it was a pretty explicit message. I grabbed the laptop and found that he'd been cheating on me.
I picked up my cup of tea and said "well I guess I won't be needing this" and poured it all over his laptop and bed and then left!

DumpedByText · 04/09/2022 08:56

My ex was tight with money and refused to pay for a TV licence, so didn't watch TV. He had my Netflix and Prime log in, and watched a lot films and box sets at his damp riddled shit hole of a home (I refused to stay there). I dumped him by text and immediately changed the passwords, he was so pissed off as I know he absolutely wouldn't pay the TV license fee, or pay for Netflix etc himself 😂

TroysMammy · 04/09/2022 08:56

I worked as a junior secretary in a bank and the Managers had a coffee percolator which I had to use to serve them coffee. One Manager would stand by the percolator, call me, hold up her cup, I would have to stop what I was doing to fill up her cup with the black coffee she would only drink. This is not the reason for the story but it still pisses me off over 30 years later.

However we had a Securites clerk who thought he was way above his station and was a total twat. "Make me a percolated coffee sweet cheeks". "Sweet cheeks" rubbed a light film of Fairy liquid around the rim of the china cup before presenting it to him. He never asked "Sweet cheeks" to make him a coffee illicit or not after that.

ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 04/09/2022 08:56

There was a woman I really hated at my old work. I was in her office and I picked up a load of patient notes and in the pile I realised I’d somehow picked up her hole punch (it had her name on it) Rather than return it, I threw it in the bin! She was a spiteful cow anyway.

CakeCrumbs44 · 04/09/2022 09:01

I was parallel parking into a space outside the local soft play. Someone came down the road the other way so I stopped the maneuver while they passed me. Then they pulled over and started trying to parallel park into the same space from the other end. I kept reversing as I had started, but the person driving seemed to be completely unaware I was there, even when our cars were almost touching (rear end to rear end). I ended up pulling out and leaving it as we would have collided!

Anyway, once I got a space elsewhere I wrote a note and put it on the windscreen. Can't remember the exact wording but something like "you nearly crashed into me while reversing, use your eyes and mirrors next time"

EmeraldShamrock1 · 04/09/2022 09:03

@RicherThanYew He is not petty, he is borderline evil.

I'm so sorry.

When he dies do not let his body be buried with your sister I'd sit on the grave in protest for months if necessary or move your Dsis into your plot.

I'd have him in the crematorium and I'd dump his ashes at a landfill site if I'd any control over his resting place.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 04/09/2022 09:06

Sometimes I start a small fight with my husband because when he’s really mad at me he deep cleans the house.
🤣 Awh I thought that was my own trick.
He rips through the house like Kim and Aggy when he is annoyed.

savethatkitty · 04/09/2022 09:11

When DH cheated, I found the OW on social media. I sent a screen shot of OW's profile picture to all of DH's work colleagues & entire contact lists with the caption "this is who he is f*cking".

sandgrown · 04/09/2022 09:15

Next door neighbour went away leaving teenage son home. He had friends round for a party in the garden until 5am midweek. Lots of loud music and swearing . I couldn’t sleep so got up at 6 am . They were quiet but the back door was open . I put the bins out banging every gate and fence panel on the way . I put the radio on the back step close to theirs and played radio 2 at full blast . It was petty but I laughed when they got up to close the door .

Quincythequince · 04/09/2022 09:18

randomchap · 03/09/2022 10:58

I repaired a family member's computer. it was completely riddled with viruses and malware. Took a good few hours to fix.

I didn't get offered a single drink, he didn't thank me and was just generally rude while I sorted it.

Before I left, I wrote a little script that made it loudly beep at random intervals and made sure it ran at start up. Just a few times a day but enough to be massively annoying.

OMG. Why did you complete this for him?

Japingjaponica · 04/09/2022 09:22

I broke up with my painter boyfriend, for ignoring my birthday completely, after we'd had a big celebration for his two weeks earlier.
He explained to me that I didn't need a birthday celebration and that he would buy me a card later in the year.
I then listed his beloved van for sale on gumtree at a really bargain price, and put his phone number in for contact details.
Forgot about it till years later when I used Gumtree again....

savethatkitty · 04/09/2022 09:25

Forgot this one. My dh & OW worked together. So I very deliberately applied for & got a senior management position in the same organisation (think same building, but different floor). I did it as I hoped OW would fear bumping into me in the elevator or the staff cafeteria. Being cheated on bought out all sorts of petty I didn't know I had in me. The look on dh's face when I told him about my new job (much higher ranking than his) made it all the more worth while.

Thisbastardcomputer · 04/09/2022 09:30

Pissed on the husband's tooth brush after he'd done something, can't remember what but I don't let him get away with anything