To ask what is the pettiest thing you’ve done?

[LadyCampanulaTottington]

My petty crown that I wear with pride is when confronted (or rear fronted?) by a car driving up my arse, I slow down and if they don’t back off I continue to drive as slow as legally possible just to make a point.

Even if you haven’t acted on it, what’s the pettiest thing you’ve considered doing?

Wow what an absolute witch. I know people like that so I'm sort of getting off on thinking how jealous you're making your sister.
She deserves it. When people can't control their weight they feel lousy about it, but that is no reason to try to put other people down in order to feel less of a failure

When people piss me off via email, I reply without kind before regards.

That tells ‘em! 😂

My ex walked out on me and our kids (youngest was 4 months)
of course there was another woman-my best friend
this was the days before mumsnet so I did the whole begging (to my utter shame) and when he told me that she was better in bed than me (I was looking after 5 kids,doing it all,had just had his child and he did fuck all-right down to not having a job but could game for hours) I got angry
i sold his brand new,state of the art Xbox and all the games to my brothers mate for £20 all in and packed all this stuff-only I added itching powder to his underpants

it took him two weeks to end up in the std clinic with a swollen,itchy,red raw cock and balls and she denied she’d given ‘it’ to him (turned out that not only had they cheated on me,but she was still shagging her ‘ex’ and about 4/5 other fellas)

i never did own up and the clinic gave him the all clear but that stuff clings so didn’t come out on the first wash (not that he washed all that often—he would wear the same pants for 3 weeks and wash himself every 4/5 weeks)

and he never did get another xbox as he couldn’t afford one

My OH has a habit of leaving bits of garbage on the kitchen counter which he jokingly (ha ha ha) refers to as debris. So snip a corner off a bag of chips and leave the corner on the counter rather than turning around and putting it in the bin. Finish the bread and leave the bag with 2 dry crusts in the bag on the counter.

I have started to simply pile stuff up by the fridge rather than being a good little serf and binning things for him.

More recently he found a tin of soup that was 2 months past it's BBD (who cares?) and said he thought it should be thrown away.
And left it on the counter.
It stayed there for 2 weeks before he asked why I hadn't thrown it out.

If he doesn't get the message the next step is to start putting everything in one of the drawers.

I once went on a date (OLD) with a chap who was arrogant and just utterly awful. He talked about himself non stop and had the nerve to tell me he didn't like how I'd done my hair. Years later, I somehow bumped into him at a gig. He recognised me and came to say hello. I pretended to have NO idea who he was. He kept protesting and trying to remind me and was extremely put out that I couldn't remember him AT ALL. It was delicious.

My company had a senior manager in one of the departments that was one of the nastiest arseholes I’ve ever met. His staff were frequently in tears from his shouting and intimidating behaviour.

I work in I.T and one day I was in an adjacent department in this big open plan office and he was really shouting because he was due to fly to a meeting in Europe and his presentation wasn’t finished. He had to leave for the airport and I heard him tell his staff to put the finished file in his team’s shared folder on the server and he would pick it up later.

Needless to say after he left one woman in particular was crying and saying that he had deliberately told her at the last minute and she was supposed to be picking her kids up and they were all scrambling to get it finished.

I was so incensed that I changed a setting to sneakily remove his laptop’s access to the network. When I got into the office the next morning he had already made several calls and was apoplectic with rage because the phone support staff couldn’t diagnose the problem with his laptop. I took over the call and made him do tests and checks to waste his time. I told him he’d better calm down if he wanted my help and I could tell he wanted to call me all the names under the sun. His anger had subsided by this point to panic and near tears judging by his quaky voice. Then I told him the laptop would need to be fixed back at HQ but not to worry if he accessed the hotel’s business centre I would be able to helpfully send him the file. He had to run around jumping through hoops and I took longer and longer to answer his calls each time. When I’d decided he suffered enough I put his laptop back on the network and asked him to give it one last try… 😂

My boss used to refuse anyone to use (her) the office stapler. If you had to use it she would make you do it at her desk and she would frown at you if you dared to crack it too hard.

When I left I stole it.

@RicherThanYew thanks, it is really strange, she won't talk about it either.

In theory they were going to scatter the ashes on a beach over the summer, she took their teen kids away but no mention of the ashes.

I just hope she doesn't leave Dad out of the arrangements as it would break his heart.

@BeggarsMeddle I tried that but they couldn't even confirm he was there without SIL's permission.

I'm particularly annoyed as I arranged the funeral and Dad paid for most of it but we have no say in what happens to him now.

I have thought of just lying and saying I am SIL to pick him up but that seems excessive. I'll do it the day before the year is up if she hasn't got him by then though.

I used to work in a very busy city centre pub. Customers had to wait for ages at the bar to be served, no matter how fast we worked. It was a cool pub full of posers. It was also very loud. One customer was very rude to me because I asked him to repeat his request several times. When I was sure I finally had the order correct I repeated it back to him and he said confirmed that was right. Then I said ‘We don’t sell that.’ Even though we obviously did. I went to serve someone else at the other side of the bar so he would have another age to wait.

I tipped a bin upside down once after finally loosing the plot at DPs ‘take bin bag and sweep everything in style of cleaning’. Whoops 😬

@CornedBeef451. Well, I really do hope that it works out for you and you can retrieve your DB.

Back in the day before mobile phones were common or affordable, I worked as a site supervisor for a small building company. The company supplied me a phone, but on condition that if I left anyone on a job alone, i left the phone with them in case of emergency. I then had to use the wired in carphone in the van (yep, that long ago)

‘Bob‘ was a fucking nob. Every time I left the phone with him, he’d fuck about with the settings and change the default language to mandarin or send twatty texts to people that obviously appeared to come from me.

i deliberately switched the default language to dutch. And pretended he’d done something to the settings it and it couldn’t be switched back to English. I actually do understand enough Dutch to work the phone perfectly but didn’t let on I knew anything about the language. He was too thick to work it out, so all he could ever do was press the green button twice to dial the last number called, and hope it was the carphone, and not a local takeaway.

I should add the phone was to be used in case of emergency or for him to call me if he needed materials, or if he needed picking up if he got finished earlier than expected.

…. Ffs. So it REALLY made his life harder not being able to use the phone.

My sil is an utter nob. Also mean, nasty and rude.

She’s also a yo-yo dieter.

I told her I was making some brownies and she asked if they could be low cal because she was on a diet. I said fine. I knew a recipe for under 100 cal per slice brownies.

Day of brownie making she behaves like an utter cowbag, entitled, spoiled and screaming at me over nothing and generally behaving like an upstart toddler (she was in her 30s!).

I decided not to make the low cal brownies. I made my usual brownies which are 500 cal a slice (as they have so many different types of sugar and chocolate in them). She at 4 of them on the day and took 2 home with her.

I did (privately) laugh when she she cried about not loosing any weight that week and had actually gained.

Whenever I'm asked for my number for websites fishing for info I give the exs and his email too. He can deal with the shitty emails and scam calls

If people seriously piss me off I sign them up to receive info from marketing companies. This worked best in the days of physical junk mail when the annoying person would receive a deluge of leaflets about loft ladders, garden implements, hearing aids, doorbells etc. It still has some success with email and I like to think of their faces when they have to unsubscribe from yet another mailing list.

Many moons ago I moved away from.my home town and took a job in a well known supermarket. I really hated it and in my first week I manufactured an excuse to finish early one day, claiming a hospital appointment for my " bad back ".
On returning the next day I was called into the managers office to explain why I hadn't divulged my "bad back" when I applied for the job. The manager was a really horrible middle aged sneery type who called me a liar and told me he would terminate my contract the next day. He sent me back to the shop floor and I carried on working , price labelling the products(this was the days before barcode scanners. I changed all the prices of the products to be much cheaper than they should be, putting them at the back of the shelves . I was called to the office to be informed that payroll had already done the wages (cash wage packets) so I needed to Come in Saturday morning to make the hours I hadn't worked because of my "bad back".

I agreed to this. They gave me my wage packet and I left. Needless to sat I didn't come back to complete my hours and 40 odd years later I still smile to myself about all the products I kindly priced up much lower than they should of been 😀😀yes im talking g to you Sainsburys Croydon Whitgift Centre 🤣🤣🤣🤣

When I was 16 I worked in a call centre selling insurance to existing account holders. Yes, fucking annoying for people getting called, but i needed to support myself.

Lots of 'no thanks', absolutely fine, hanging straight up, fine, some irritation or banter then ending the call, ok. But the feckers who wished me death, told me to 'get a real job' (eh?!), or called me stupid/bitch/cunt etc...got their landline number written down on a post-it then called at 2 - 3 am a few weeks later to just hear loud drum and bass.

Illegal and childish but I was just a kid trying to build a life. Be firm with cold callers by all means, but don't be an arse to people just trying to make a living.

@MostTacticalNameChange hahaha yes I done this.
I worked at Zenith Windows when I was 16 for about 2 weeks and had such an abusive woman. I decided to leave after that call but took her number and called that evening and called her all sorts!

Changed an ex’s name to ‘The Joyless C**t’ in my phone and blocked him.

He’s still blocked almost three years later and no doubt is still a joyless c**t!

My friend and I went backpacking together. I managed to lose my sunglasses a few days in and my friend kept going on about how unorganised/ forgetful etc I was. At a later point in the trip as we were leaving one hostel to move to another town and I noticed her sunglasses on the table where she had forgotten to pick them up, I could have picked them up for her or let her know but instead I kept quiet and let her walk out leaving them behind forever.

No idea why that went all bold type. It was joyless c u next Tuesday to clarify 🤣

I worked as a cleaner in an office and one of the men there was so arrogant, throwing paper on the floor, missing the bin knowing I had to pick it up etc. The worst one was when I was cleaning the toilets and he'd come in an piss in the urinal even though