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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teachers on Facebook and night out

333 replies

GreenGreenGrassBlue · 03/09/2022 08:45

I’ve name changed for this, my friend was showing me photos of her children’s SLT (Dep Heads, other teachers) out on a night out in a City. She’s friends with one of the Teachers on Facebook.

There are photos of them enjoying a night out, doing shots etc and this Teacher is friends with a number of parents on Facebook.

AIBU to think it’s probably not appropriate to share these sort of photos on Facebook?

It is titled like a pre back to work night out with a number of parents commenting things like ‘are you ready?’.

Im not saying don’t go out but not sure how appropriate it is for teachers to be sharing like this on Facebook.

OP posts:
Maymaymay · 03/09/2022 09:14

Dadaya · 03/09/2022 08:49

It’s called maintaining a professional image. People like teachers, doctors, and other professionals are expected to keep their private life private. It’s a sackable offence if you don’t.

This is wrong. It's not unprofessional to go out, if there are photos of them lying in the gutter covered in vomit then it is potentially sackable. It's not a crime to drink a tequila.

Marvellousmadness · 03/09/2022 09:14

It IS appropriate to share their photos on their own profile
It ISN'T appropriate for teachers to befriend parents on Facebook however...

Ffsmakeitstop · 03/09/2022 09:14

So long as Miss Jones wasn't pole dancing round Mr Smith's cock with her tits out I can't see a problem.
Why should teachers be held to a different standard?

Abraxan · 03/09/2022 09:14

It's very unprofessional for a teacher to be friends with the parents of the children they teach on Facebook. IMO I don't think any school with a 'policy' on social media would allow this.

It is discouraged, however there are several circumstances where this is accepted as being fine such as if the parent is already a long standing friend or a family member. However, again - people are mixing up what they've been told might happen with what can legally happen. Two different things.

RosieRoww · 03/09/2022 09:14

AndSoFinally · 03/09/2022 09:02

Different schools have different rules.

There was a teacher on here not long back saying she wasn't allowed to smoke in her garden because she lived too close to the school!

😂omg, that's ridiculous.

Dadaya · 03/09/2022 09:15

RedHelenB · 03/09/2022 09:13

No it isn't, not if they've secured the privacy settings so their pupils cant access them. These same parents will no doubt bump into them on nights out.

Show quote history

But they clearly haven’t secured their privacy. OP said parents can see what these teachers are posting. Yes you’re allowed to have a life and post on social media - privately. Not where parents (and their kids) can see.

JudgeRindersMinder · 03/09/2022 09:16

It’s because of judgemental people like you that all of my teacher and police officer friends don’t go under their real names on Facebook.

Aren’t they allowed lives or is it just because you’re perfect?

converseandjeans · 03/09/2022 09:16

@GreenGreenGrassBlue

My friend wasn’t being bitchy. She doesn’t give two hoots about the teachers being out. I’m a bit more like erm should teachers be posting on Facebook etc

You sound really judgemental. I suppose that's why teachers have to be so careful - because of people like you passing comment.

Loics · 03/09/2022 09:16

GreenGreenGrassBlue · 03/09/2022 09:11

My friend wasn’t being bitchy. She doesn’t give two hoots about the teachers being out. I’m a bit more like erm should teachers be posting on Facebook etc

Good thing the teachers aren't friends with you! I do hope my doctor, solicitor, dentist, any nurses who may care for me in future, including midwives, police officers, don't forget judges, oh my accountant too... don't post about anything but how much they love their work on social media, how on earth could I trust them afterwards, knowing they sometimes had fun?!

AnaDay · 03/09/2022 09:17

It’s all a bit silly- Facebook is so sad anyway, just makes everyone look completely shallow and unprofessional

Marvellousmadness · 03/09/2022 09:17

@Maymaymay it isnt a crime to drink tequila but it is everything but professional to share party photos on your profile if you have befriended parents on there.

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 03/09/2022 09:17

You say your friend showed you the photos so that would suggest that they were not posted publicly, that they were only visible to friends. The only thing the teachers have done wrong is choose poor friends who don't respect their privacy.

My FB is set to friends only. I would be pretty upset if a so called "friend" shared photos or details with other people without my permission.

HappyChloé2 · 03/09/2022 09:17

GreenGreenGrassBlue · 03/09/2022 08:45

I’ve name changed for this, my friend was showing me photos of her children’s SLT (Dep Heads, other teachers) out on a night out in a City. She’s friends with one of the Teachers on Facebook.

There are photos of them enjoying a night out, doing shots etc and this Teacher is friends with a number of parents on Facebook.

AIBU to think it’s probably not appropriate to share these sort of photos on Facebook?

It is titled like a pre back to work night out with a number of parents commenting things like ‘are you ready?’.

Im not saying don’t go out but not sure how appropriate it is for teachers to be sharing like this on Facebook.

It sounds as though you need to get a life, and try not to be so judgemental.

Abraxan · 03/09/2022 09:18

But they clearly haven’t secured their privacy. OP said parents can see what these teachers are posting. Yes you’re allowed to have a life and post on social media - privately. Not where parents (and their kids) can see.

No, the op says her friend is a long standing friend of the teacher in question. That suggest this is a private account. The friend can see the image because she is already friends with the teacher. The other parents can't see it. And children under 13 shouldn't be on social media regardless.

The friend shouldn't have been showing the op the private pictures ideally.

Haribosweets · 03/09/2022 09:18

Teachers are allowed to go out! I am assuming their FB are settings are friends only. I once went for a meal at a local restaurant with my son and husband and we were allocated a table that was right next to a big group and it was my sons school and his teacher was there along with the head. I knew most of them and said hello etc but didn't join in but we could see and hear them and they were having a great time. My son was embarrassed though. When we finished I said goodbye and to have a good night. I don't agree on teachers adding random parents who they don't know other than they teach their child but your friend is probably friends with one of them. I am friends with a senco from another school on FB but I've known her for years. Its no different to bumping into then on a night out like I did few years back

Maymaymay · 03/09/2022 09:18

OP new guidance was brought out this year (we got told during our inset this week) that it is now recommended that schools do a social media search of applicants and can ask questions related to what they find in interview 😆 so she would be mad to be posting this publicly !

HappyChloé2 · 03/09/2022 09:18

Dadaya · 03/09/2022 08:49

It’s called maintaining a professional image. People like teachers, doctors, and other professionals are expected to keep their private life private. It’s a sackable offence if you don’t.

No they aren’t, don’t be so ridiculous.

Yellowcar2 · 03/09/2022 09:18

It is so unprofessional to have parents of the pupils you teach as facebook friends.

SardineJam · 03/09/2022 09:18

At DS2's school, parents all received a letter telling them that we are not allowed to befriend teachers on social media. It's important for them to live their own lives without judgement

HappyChloé2 · 03/09/2022 09:19

raindon · 03/09/2022 08:50

Is a bit odd having parents as "friends" though

So once one of your friends has a child in your school you are supposed to cut them out of your life?

Why?

Viney1 · 03/09/2022 09:19

Wait what?!

I thought teachers all slept under their classroom desk and read the Bible for fun?

glamourousindierockandroll · 03/09/2022 09:19

They're not doing anything wrong, but this just shows why social media is shit and the culture of constantly sharing pictures of what you're up to with people you barely know is bizarre.

To address being friends with parents: if you work in the community you've lived in for any length of time, you may well have ex classmates, colleagues, relatives etc who subsequently send their children to your school, and you won't always make the connection. Just this week a photo of a girl I taught last year appeared on my facebook feed and I hadn't realised that I knew her mum.

Rainraindontgoaway · 03/09/2022 09:20

Can you explain why it is not appropriate for a teacher to post pictures of their social lives like many million other people do?

also, does this said teacher know that a nosey fb friend of theirs is snooping and sharing her fb updates and pictures?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 03/09/2022 09:20

Well, it’s not like she’s been showing her area in the Co op window really is it?

l was a teacher for 27 years. We were advised not to friend parents. And definitely no Whatsapp or whatever.

And we were told repeatedly to keep settings to private.

However, not sure how a night out is a sackable offence. Maybe they should have stayed home and stitched clothes by candlelight in a garret?

Would that suit your outraged morality more?

brookstar · 03/09/2022 09:20

GreenGreenGrassBlue · 03/09/2022 09:11

My friend wasn’t being bitchy. She doesn’t give two hoots about the teachers being out. I’m a bit more like erm should teachers be posting on Facebook etc

Of course, teachers should delete Facebook.... in fact, let's make it easier and just ban teachers from having any sort of life outside of school.

FFS have a word with yourself!!