Are you a HSP? Highly sensitive person?

[HSP2022]

Apparently 20% of people are classified as a highly sensitive person.

I'm certain I fit the criteria but do any of you?

Is there a way to get absolute clarification?

Do you just accept that's how you are or have you been able to change aspects so you are not as highly sensitive to certain things?

I’m emotional and cry at bloody everything. But that doesn’t mean I’m some kind of special snowflake since I can be a right pain in the arse too.

So called 'Empaths' on here sound like navel gazing snobs. Calling people 'uneducated' somehow strikes me that they're in no way being
honest about who they are.

I actually fit a lot of the criteria but that's because I have CPTSD and dyspraxia, not because I'm somehow super special

I am sure there are some very sensitive people because I have certainly met some very insensitive ones. People who kill spiders without a thought, or toss off casually unkind comments. I suppose I think they are insensitive because I compare it to people who lovingly escort spiders out the house, or avoid saying things which could be hurtful. I am not bothered by violent films or series like Squid games and love a good survival book like 'touching the void.' So probably not highly sensitive, myself, but I do know people who are really affected by things and I am sure they are not making it up to be special.

Did Counsellor Troi serve any purpose except to look outstanding in a unitard?

I remember an episode where the doctor was sensing people from alternative timelines and Counsellor Troi couldn't detect a frigging thing.

I haven’t read the whole thread but I would count myself as a HSP. Although I wouldn’t call that description a good one. Ways I am highly sensitive:
-I find most human interactions draining. I tend to be in hyper alert and take in most details, I remember most random conversations.
-working in an office is not an option for me (learnt after 5 years). I find being surrounded by people too exhausting it left me drained for the rest of my life. I work mostly from home now and am excelling in my career a way I never could before.
-I am so sensitive to food. No gluten or dairy, minimal sugar and grains. It’s a nightmare
-In a 1-on-1 conversation I am an excellent mood changer. I can read queues exceptionally well and mannerisms, mirror back somebody’s feelings and gain their trust very quickly. if you want somebody to make you feel better about a situation, I am the person to call
-I am easily stressed mostly by my own thoughts. I have to spend a lot of time relaxing to stay level headed/ avoid outbursts

I’m trying to see it as a gift, but it is hard work to live with!

Oh yeah, but it’s not multi tasking that’s the issue, it’s that ‘too many things to do’. ‘Too many’ is going to vary from person to person, and we’ve all got a limit.

😂😂😂😂 Seriously one of the least self aware posts I have ever read on Mumsnet. The irony being that you think you have exceptional self awareness.

I believe im a HSP byt i don't really care for arty stuff

In a 1-on-1 conversation I am an excellent mood changer.

This, I believe.

But some of us have a much lower level than others. This is me multi tasking.

If I could beat that problem, I could earn a lot more.

I can read queues exceptionally well

You mean like when everyone in them holds signs that say "THIS IS BOLLOCKS"?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I am a psychologist (in training) and I'm not sure that you can meaningfully categorise people as HSP or empaths. I would likely meet those criteria, but then as other people have pointed out they are so vague that most people would identify with many of them. I would consider sensitive certainly and it helps me be good at my job. If it's helpful for your self esteem to see yourself this way than you do you OP, but I would be extremely cautious of seeking out to have this 'diagnosis' confirmed. There may be people offering this service but I don't think it would be worth paying for and certainly wouldn't be provided by the NHS

In a 1-on-1 conversation I am an excellent mood changer.

Definitely believe this. It changed my mood when I read it. 🤣🤣🤣

@CertainUncertain I promise you I am usually much more empathetic, but get frustrated when we lose time because people overuse labels they do t fully understand. I’ve had instances where people refer to incidents like being put on probation at work or an upsetting remark from someone as trauma.

Part of the problem is that people start to pathologies typical human reactions to things. I am not deciding what is and isn’t trauma, to clarify- for example if I was doing an assessment with a view to whether someone is experiencing PTSD, there are stressors which would lead to that, and they are in the DSM. So I’m listening, not deciding based on my own criteria, if that makes sense.

I don’t assess for ADD or ASD, and I have sympathy for anyone trying to gain an understanding of themselves. What I worry about is this need for incessant labelling of unremarkable traits which don’t cause a functional impact, which I believe HSP and empath falls under.

I am a genuine HSP
Had people telling me "You are Too Sensitive " my entire life.

But I am also reserved, tendency to be shyand usually overly considerate of other people.

Why so much hostility?

I suppose people must vary in their sensitivity, otherwise there wouldn't be people who are fine with working in a slaughterhouse.

This is a strange thread!

I did the quiz and scored highly which makes sense given the fact I have adhd, almost certainly have asd and work in a job which requires me to be deeply sensitive and empathetic most of the time.

But I don’t see the need to be labelled as a HSP (which I’d never even heard of before this thread!) and wouldn’t want that label! The criteria is are so vague that many I’m sure many people, neurodivergent and neurotypical, would meet them.

I go about my day being me (empathetic and sensitive!) but don’t think I’m any more special or ‘deep’ than other people.

I read social cues very well. I can put people at ease, earn their trust. I do exceptionally well socially and often described as ‘emotionally intelligent’ by people who love this sort of ‘let’s diagnose everything’.

Its not being an empath. It’s called growing up with a mentally I’ll parent, learning how to navigate it and it’s left over from the trauma.

it’s not a super power.

Ignore the types and extra words in my last post 🤦🏼‍♀️ I typed too quickly and I’m tired!

I was trying to find a way to say exactly this. Completely agree.

I’m absolutely an HSP (and for most of my life would have told you I have found it a millstone round my neck, not a nice ‘special’ thing! Who wants to be that overly-sensitive person?

1. Can’t stand violence - totally me. Get really upset about violent things, won’t watch horror movies or ‘true life’ crime stories. Have been known to walk out mid-movie or burst into tears.

1. Emotionally drained by others - very much so. Need to have a lot of ‘alone time’ in order to regain my ‘centre’, if you will. Get physically exhausted at times which then makes me prone to emotional outbursts, and that makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.

1. Pressure of time - I cannot work or do things under pressure, I just cave. Yet another thing that makes me feel different for all the wrong reasons.

1. Change is a Big Deal - yes indeed it is. Very resistant to change, and it’s worse as I have gotten older.

1. Environment is Biggest Enemy - Cannot deal with what I feel is an unpleasant, overwhelming environment. Can’t deal with noise, wrong lighting, etc.

It was hard to even get to the ‘positive part’ of being an HSP in your post, OP!

“You’re able to easily sidestep situations that have the potential for drama” - no. Not at all, but it is getting a bit better now I’m much older and more experienced. In the past all too easy to get caught up and then mightily upset. I have had to learn the hard way. Probably like everyone else!

“You can appreciate the beauty of art on a much deeper level:” - I can’t answer this as I have no idea how other people experience art internally. How do I know whether I experience it more deeply?

“You have deeper relationships with others” - I doubt they are deeper, but I am good with empathy.

“You’re far more grateful for what you have in life” - that’s because I’ve been through some shit! Had I not been, I highly doubt I would be. But yeah, I am very grateful for small things, but I see this as a result of my life experiences.

So over all, yes I am very overly sensitive, have not seen that as a positive other than at an empathic level, and think some of those positives aren't very well-defined.

I think there are sensitive people and people with lots of empathy.

But I think people who have to label it and give it an acronym and make out it’s an actual diagnosis fall into 2 camps.

1 People who have a mental health problem or who are possible ND and (for many reasons) think they may have found a solution

2 People who are quite exhausting and draining and generally difficult, who think giving it a name like HSP, will mean that people must excuse their behaviour.

Like Empaths. Every self proclaimed ‘Empath’ I have ever come across (I am pagan, we come across them a lot) are usually the exact opposite. They are usually the people who are exhausting to be around and don’t seem to be aware of the emotional toll they take on people.

The most open-minded response so far!

OP, it's an interesting subject. And interesting to me that many responses have brought up the subject of autism. I've read a lot about the subject in recent years, and there does seem to be a large overlap with ASD, although the two are not exclusive to each other. I'm interested in the responses that have highlighted under diagnosis of ASD in women, especially those who do seem to identify with many of the traits. Another way it has been described is Sensory Processing Sensitivity, I think.