Are you a HSP? Highly sensitive person?

[HSP2022]

Apparently 20% of people are classified as a highly sensitive person.

I'm certain I fit the criteria but do any of you?

Is there a way to get absolute clarification?

Do you just accept that's how you are or have you been able to change aspects so you are not as highly sensitive to certain things?

That reads like a quiz from cosmo.

I'm definitely very sensitive but i don't think it makes me special. The term empath makes me cringe! Why do there have to terms and classifications for everything now.

My toddler also seems the same but I guess it's just a part of his personality.

Iflyaway
OP, don't listen to the cynics on MN, who don't know shit but love to spout their rubbish opinions....

^ The reality of Empaths when us heathens don't fawn over their I'm soooo special selves🙂

I was going to say I'm a HSP but then I realised my definition is different. I believe I'm HS as I take offence very easily, don't like criticism and basically can take things personally very easily

What does he do to manage? Genuinely interested because all advice seems useless eg take breaks. We know to do that but usually the only real help is to be removed from the situation completely.

@Ravenpuff93

“I have experienced trauma” when you explore it and they have not)

I don't have a stake in the original premise of the post, but if the tone of your reply is representational of CBT as a therapeutic approach, I feel I've gained insight into why it's mostly been a failure for the people I know who have tried it. You certainly don't sound like the person I'd want deciding where the line falls on whether or not someone has experienced trauma.

And I'm no trained therapist, but even I can see that the OP is looking to help herself by understanding various factors that might add up to something. How is what she's doing different from someone trying to figure out if they have ADD or is neurodiverse? Are you equally dismissive of them?

I don't fully get the hate / distain for people like me. I haven't done anything wrong to any of you. I don't wear a badge with flashing lights stating that I believe I'm a highly sensitive person and I actually do my very best to try to hide this about me.

OP I hid it too, though not sure how much is applicable to me now. I can certainly watch films I'd not have watched 20 years ago.

Hi OP, de lurking to say: I only first heard this term yesterday, and it’s actually been really comforting learning about other people who feel the same way as me. It’s strange to me that so many people have attacked you, and deemed this to be “self-aggrandising”.

My HSP traits have derailed my life. Any awful news story or scene from TV/radio, I immediately put myself in the shoes of whoever’s been hurt and torture myself, sometimes for hours, with thoughts of how they might have felt, the pain they’ll continue to experience.. it’s limitless. I cry over the thought of the millions of people who’ve been injured, and the billions more it’s happening to right now. It prevents me from enjoying my life. It stops me from connecting with loved ones, because the memories of what other people have gone through pop into my head. When my daughter smiles I think of the poor children who’ve been abused and murdered by their parents and how they didn’t have a chance to feel joy in their short lives. There is no answer because the world is endlessly full of pain. I can ignore the news, turn off my phone etc, but I know awful things are still happening, and always will happen.

But I don’t meet the criteria for depression, and if I can keep away from others who unfortunately and unavoidably trigger these thoughts in me I wouldn’t say I am an unhappy person. So, that’s my experience of it. Not a badge of honour, just an hourly torment. It even infiltrates my dreams. I actually found it really helpful to learn that it’s a genetic trait, meaning that nature has a use for us! And the book humankind by Rutger Bergman made me feel better about the world in general.

I hope you can find some answers or tools to help you. I don’t think I’m autistic, not that I can tell anyway, but I do also procrastinate and find it funny that someone said it’s just a matter of setting targets and deadlines!

The only time I’ve ever heard people saying how sensitive they are is when they’re trying to excuse their own twatish behavior. Same with ‘I’m a very emotional person.’ Yeah, we’re all emotional people, we just don’t expect everyone else to pander to us.

Congratulations - you've discovered you have ..... a personality! A normal set of characteristics which many other also share. If you have a set of characteristics shared by less than 5% of the population, then that's outside the normal standard deviation so could be classified as a specific type/disorder. Shared by 20% though - nah, nothing special sorry.

"no, actually, I identify as an insensitive cultural philistine who just doesn't love people that much".

I feel seen.

In other words irritating people who can't deal with life.

@MainePyarKiya we most of us have children on this site. Each of these children has different personalities. We’ve all had to learn to adapt our parenting to those personalities. Imagine if there were only one sleep thread, one discipline thread, one fussy eaters thread…
It can certainly be helpful to recognise personality traits and how they group together to find strategies when you need them.
But for me it just becomes ridiculous when instead of just dealing with a high sensitivity to noise, you start piling it in with comments about art appreciation and sticking a label on it.

That sounds more like severe anxiety coupled with intrusive thoughts, not 'empath' and does sound debilitating. CBT worth a go?

Not particularly, but many people on here would qualify. That sounds like a dig and it's really, really not. It's just that some people start offended or annoyed posts about something that would barely raise my eyebrows. We're all different though, and that's one of the things that makes Mumsnet great.

But the criteria aren't super specific. Just picking up the first few on the questionnaire - who doesn't feel overwhelmed by strong sensory input? Who wouldn't describe themselves as being aware of subtleties in their environment?

Being affected by other people's moods is also a normal human trait but will affect people to differing levels, and some people will be more aware of it than others.

And most people unless they have sensory issues are sensitive to pain lol

Hi OP, yes, I'm one too. Reading the Aron book a few years back helped me a great deal in understanding my reactions to and feelings about so many things in life. I've only ever spoken to one close person about it and I'm now in my 50s.
Obviously people can dismiss the concept if they please, and after all you did post on AIBU... but some of the responses you've had make me glad I've generally kept quiet about it. Wish it did make me feel special...if only.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahha

Yeah. That doesn't work if you have ADHD

Spot on. And ironically most people realise they are not able to read other people’s minds. It’s odd to be simultaneously claiming some higher level of empathy whilst not grasping this pretty basic facet of human existence.

@itsarealhumdinger

My HSP traits have derailed my life. Any awful news story or scene from TV/radio, I immediately put myself in the shoes of whoever’s been hurt and torture myself, sometimes for hours, with thoughts of how they might have felt, the pain they’ll continue to experience.. it’s limitless. I cry over the thought of the millions of people who’ve been injured, and the billions more it’s happening to right now. It prevents me from enjoying my life. It stops me from connecting with loved ones, because the memories of what other people have gone through pop into my head. When my daughter smiles I think of the poor children who’ve been abused and murdered by their parents and how they didn’t have a chance to feel joy in their short lives. There is no answer because the world is endlessly full of pain. I can ignore the news, turn off my phone etc, but I know awful things are still happening, and always will happen

I do all of this but things affect me for at least one week if not 2 or 3 at a time. I still don't consider myself remotely empathic though.

Have you tried any of the online diagnostic tests for autism?
It's so common for female autistics to label themselves "highly sensitive" before getting their actual diagnosis of ASD.
Try the AQ test as that's what GPs use when you see them to ask to be put on the waiting list.

I scored 20 on that quiz and I'm definitely not highly sensitive. I believe 90% of the population would score 15 or more on that as some of the questions are so vague as to be nonsensical. It definitely does not create an elite 20%.

That was the first thing I thought of when I read this thread.