Are you a HSP? Highly sensitive person?

[HSP2022]

Apparently 20% of people are classified as a highly sensitive person.

I'm certain I fit the criteria but do any of you?

Is there a way to get absolute clarification?

Do you just accept that's how you are or have you been able to change aspects so you are not as highly sensitive to certain things?

What is the current "Much Ado About Nothing" zeitgeist? I’m intrigued!

Thank you for your response to the link and your subsequent dig. I do not think I understand art more than anyone else, I do not feel I have HSP traits. I never suggested that I did. I did some research into it a long time ago and have an open mind about it.
I find it interesting how unpleasant some of the comments on here have been.

Some people have found that they can identify with a list of traits that offers an explanation as to why they have certain experiences. Various available studies and advice may help them to cope with this and live a more comfortable life. Why is that such an issue for anyone else? Why does it lead to a barrage of unpleasant comments? Is it just important to be right and prove a point at the expense of other people's feelings and peace of mind?

Some people have found that they can identify with a list of traits

Everyone can do that. It's called having a personality. It's not something to be pathologised.

This very much sounds like me OP although I have always referred to myself as an empath. I really struggle with sad news that is plastered over the media for a few days e.g. major child abuse/murder cases, start of the Ukraine war. I think some of the positives you list really don’t ring true for me though.

This is what’s perplexing me. The idea that I’m nasty/mean but I’m not saying people can’t identify with some common traits - I’m saying that it’s NORMAL to identify with some traits that lead to you having experiences! If you didn’t you would barely be human.

What do you think most people feel when they find out about a horrible child abuse case or a war in Ukraine?

It literally puts me out of service for a few days. Always on my mind. Easily upset. Affects my concentration and so my performance at work.

Bollocks.

I knew a very annoying woman who claimed (in her whiny voice) that she felt things more deeply than others. How the hell did she know? There isn't an official chart.

Does that mean your sensitivity is higher or your resilience is lower?

i feel things more deeply. I am an empath.

But you don't know how deeply other people feel things, so how can you say that?

Do you think a person's ability to cope is in inverse proportion to their ability to feel? That's one of the most insensitive things I've ever heard.

Oh Lordy. Another label?

Do I get a ribbon or parade?

What do you mean you ‘are an empath?’ Do you mean you’re empathetic? Because empathetic doesn’t mean looking at other people’s tragedies and measuring it by the affect it has on YOU. You have no idea how deeply others have been affected by issues.

However, if you can’t get it off your mind - do something about it! Do you donate, volunteer? Do you make sure you do what you can to help those who need it? Maybe those types of things are more helpful than reading into lists and declaring yourself ‘an empath.’ I am affected by stories of child abuse and poverty because I grew up in that situation. Now, I try to budget every shop so I can afford a bag for the food bank too, because I know some of my preschoolers are the ones who use it. Every Christmas part of my budgeting is a gift for the big tree at our local supermarket which goes to kids who won’t get many gifts. I work part time so I volunteer at my uni and at an after school programme. All these things are born of my empathy. Announcing that I feel things more deeply than others isn’t.

But you don’t actually know that.

You are comparing your feelings with other peoples reactions.

I am pretty sure people think I didn’t feel my mothers death. Especially at work.

It tore me apart. But I continued to work, parent my kids, getting dd ready for Uni etc.

You not being able to manage your work, due to seeing the news. And me being able to work when my mum died, isn’t proof you feel things more. You are comparing reactions and how people handle upset. Not the feelings.

Hi OP, I can relate. I find the world quite tricky to navigate at times and really struggle to work in environments with lots of people because I overthink every interaction. I'm sorry to say that I haven't found a way to become less sensitive, but I have recently worked on starting to see it as a strength rather than a hindrance. I am starting to work towards a job which will allow me to embrace this part of me, rather than staying in a job that makes me feel very different. If this makes sense?

As an aside, I have noticed on Mumsnet the vast majority of threads get a high percentage of supportive responses. However, there are a few factors in threads which cause the tone and mood in the responses to completely shift.

For example, when the thread appears to be by a man, the responses are always a lot less empathetic.

And the same goes for threads by posters who identify as sensitive people or empaths. I think this attitude towards people who are more sensitive is reflected in real life too, which is really sad. I think it's partly a cultural thing here too (if you are in the UK).

I personally think it's a wonderful strength to be a HSP and it's just about choosing the right friends, activities and job that work for you and your personality.

I don't know - there is so much labelling that goes on these days. It's good to understand who we are but if it's something that can be limiting and we can work on minimising it then that has to be a good thing. I think that given a particular situation or moment, we can all be sensitive even though some bottle it up and some are overt about it.

For example, when the thread appears to be by a man, the responses are always a lot less empathetic.

It's a forum comprised largely of women, many of whom have been treated badly by men. I'm not saying this makes this right, but you don't need to be possessed of some Star Trekky superhuman Empath Power to spot it or figure out how it happens.

I’m not and DH definitely isn’t.

DS is definitely HSP. Many positives and negatives, as you say.

The science re highly sensitive animals is interesting, I’m always amazed teachers know nothing about it given 20% of children will struggle more than the rest with loud noise, crowds etc. Sometimes people ask if DS is autistic I’m like no he’s highly sensitive and the noise in here is insane.

Rather than it being pathologised, people I have encountered, that have identified with the HSP traits, have felt normalised & have been comforted to have found a likely explanation for their experiences.

By "pathologised", I mean labelling it as something so unusual and far from the normal that it deserves labelling as a condition, rather than a collection of personality traits like in any other human.. And in which, over and over again, the supposed sensitivity goes only one way and is absolutely brick-like elsewhere.

But it’s not an explanation. Giving it a label doesn’t give it an explanation at all.

There could be a million reasons people don’t like loud, sudden noises. Or that they are sensitive or less able to deal with their emotions.

Slapping ‘oh I am a HSP’ explains nothing at all

Absolutely @ReneBumsWombats

And not having empathy, response to others, response to creativity, and revulsion at violence is a pretty good working definition of sociopathy.

Empath or highly sensitive seems to be to 2022 what borderline was to 2012

I don't like loud noise or crowds either. That's why I don't go to major music festivals even though I love music. No trauma or bad experiences, just my nature.

It's never occurred to me to need an "explanation" for it, or "normalisation" or "comfort". I'm just a person who likes some things and doesn't like other things. Like everyone.

And the same goes for threads by posters who identify as sensitive people or empaths. I think this attitude towards people who are more sensitive is reflected in real life too, which is really sad. I think it's partly a cultural thing here too (if you are in the UK).

I think it’s because stating one is “highly sensitive“ and using this to assert one feels MORE than others is a highly arrogant statement.

Indeed, assuming that one feels more than others is UNempathetic in the extreme, it seems to me. The aura of superiority is very obvious in posts claiming HSP.

Most MN posters are sensitive people but most of us also get on with life. And most of us don’t need to pathologise ordinary human feeling - we have personalities and don’t need some spurious pseudo-science to make us feel important.