In December 2020, DS (18mo at the time) suddenly had some odd symptoms come on one day at nursery. They advised we see a professional as soon as possible. When we got to our appointment the next day, they didn’t even get him inside the room - they saw him and said to immediately take him to A&E because it looked like a brain tumour. DS was admitted to hospital, had a whole host of tests and was in for over two weeks in the end. It took another two weeks to get him cleared of a brain tumour and find out what it was.
His condition, although minor, requires daily treatment and will be with him for the rest of his life. He’ll be fine, the condition isn’t life limiting but it is a pain to manage and his equipment is expensive. We have appointments at the hospital every few months to monitor him.
Even though it turned out ok, it was a really awful time. We were left not knowing whether he had a brain tumour or not over Christmas. We had no family or friends to support us because we were in Tier 4. We were being assessed to foster/adopt a relative on DH’s side after a death in his family which we knew would be jeopardised too. The hospital only allowed one parent at a time into the hospital and didn’t allow us to leave him alone, because of Covid they had a one-way system so the entrance and exit didn’t cross paths so DH didn’t see each other face-to-face for a single second in two weeks. DS wasn’t allowed to leave his hospital bay and so he was bored and frustrated (and boiling hot) the whole time. It was just fucking awful for all of us - it was one of the worst things we’ve ever been through.
When we were waiting in A&E on that first day, I messaged my family in our group chat to let them know. A lot of my family live abroad in different countries so this tends to be how we communicate (because phone calls are tricky with time difference). From then on, DH or I send through updates if/when we got them. After DS was moved onto ambulatory care (after the first two weeks), we struggled to get any update on results from the hospital and the ward never answered the phone. During this time, my mum offered to phone them for us in the chat and I (probably a bit rudely because I was stressed to hell) said that if they don’t answer the phone to us then they won’t answer to her either and that, even if they do answer, they can’t tell her anything anyway because it’s a breach of confidentiality.
I’ve just found out that my brother was telling other relatives that DH and I were making it up. I was “suspiciously calm” at the start and then I was “suspiciously defensive” and “secretive” when I told my mum not to call them. I looked back at my messages from my brother at the time and what I thought were supportive and interested messages are very clearly (now) just trying to catch me out. Things like asking what certain medical terms mean or what different scans/tests are for, saying “I’ve never heard of X before” etc.
I’m so upset and angry with my brother for not only thinking that about me and DH but also for telling other people. He had absolutely no reason to think we’re lying - we’ve never about anything else and don’t have any kind of reputation or form for lying. DS had never been in hospital before or since with any other condition. Part of me wants to confront my brother but I know it’ll cause huge issues if I do and I also know this was years ago (and he surely must believe us now, given how obvious it is that DS has the condition and his medical equipment that my brother sees him use).
I am so hurt and DH is so angry. What would you do?