I moved a substantial distance away from my main social circle around 5 years ago and then had my first born and lockdown, so found it difficult to establish a new social circle. I have a small group of friends who mostly have kids over 15 and some friends who I socialise with one on one.
I have had a tricky maternity leave with an initially very challenging time, as my baby had colic and reflux. I also had a prolonged recovery from a very tricky birth. I also have my DS 4, to entertain. I was quite socially isolated for the first 6 months and my usual support system was scattered as they had their own stuff to deal with. That includes family. I’m generally the person that helps other people get their stuff together and not really one that leans on others for support.
A newish friend (2 years) was due around the same time and we shared how excited we were to be on maternity leave together. We were quite close and usually saw each other every two weeks. She is a FTM
When the babies were born, we initially had regular meet ups and lunches, a few were stressful as my newborn was not happy at being out of our snuggly home. I suggested we met at my house and I provided cake and coffee etc, not as exciting as going out but I made or bought awesome cakes to compensate. Really gooey or calorific cakes, you know, the good stuff!
I confided to the friend that I felt really lonely and a bit down, as I was sleep deprived and isolated. She empathised but I noticed that she was always busy when I invited her round.
After a prolonged period of about 3-4 weeks of not really going out, with sick DS4 and newborn colic issues, I contacted her and suggested we set some dates. She basically said she was busy for about a month and suggested a date in month and a half’s time. When we did meet up, she had double booked herself and could only stay an hour. She has suggested flying visits since then (pop over for an hour, coffee at times which mean we get 45 mins till I need to do the preschool run etc.)
Every time we text or talk she talks about her wildly busy social calendar and all these Mum date parties she’s organised and park meet ups etc. I’m never invited but she tells me all about them. Bragging about the details and talking about the other mums like I know them. Today she text me and slipped in info about her next Mum party, which I’m not invited to.
She is otherwise a very gorgeous friend who often checks in or remembers key dates and asks about how important thjng have gone. She’s very caring and kind and usually conscientious.
But AIBU to feel she’s being tactless to rub all these social engagements in my face when she knows how isolated I feel? It’s happening so much I feel it may be intentional, or am I overthinking it?