To be upset by this comment

[waitingwhilethepaintdries]

My ds (6) has a friend at school and I went for a play date with his mum a few days ago, not the first time and we met in the local park.
His friend asked his mum in front of me if my ds could come back and play and their house and she responded "nope I can only handle so much of ds, he's ok in small doses"
I found this quite offensive but didn't say anything.
My son isn't badly behaved and gets along well with her son.
Anyway she has just text to see if I want to meet for another play date this week.
Am I being over sensitive? I would never say that to anyone about their child.

This is a good reply

On the face of it, it does appear remarkably rude, but I'm also wondering if what she actually meant was 'It's too much when they're both in the house getting excited' rather than 'Your DS is a massive pain'.

I would also consider that your idea of well-behaved might not be the same as hers.

However, either way, she still shouldn't have said it in front of you and DS like that. Horrible of her.

I’d take that as there is something unpleasant or tiring about your ds and she was trying to point it out diplomatically.

That's your idea of being 'diplomatic'?

That is so offensive, rude and arrogant, to think that she’s so important and aren’t you lucky she can tolerate your son in small doses. Sorry but I’d have nothing to do with her. Your son may not have noticed yet but her attitude to him will ultimately effect him and his confidence. He’ll make other friends.

Take it as her being honest ( could be more a reflection on her having no patience rather than on your ds) and carry on meeting up on neutral ground.

So rude, what a bag. I would air her

That is really rude.

Yeah this is almost certainly what she meant. She's probably now realised she was really rude and that's why she's suggested a meet up. It's her way of trying to indicate she doesn't mind your son really!

I would feel like I have to say something and this is straightforward and not petty.

Maybe she read that thread that pointed out people normally expand on their reasons for saying no - they don't just say no!

Seriously though, that is quite unusual. She's obviously very blunt so she might appreciate the blunt approach back saying as a pp had said about being surprised to hear from her after her comment.

If she takes umbrage - don't bother or if you can handle it - embrace as the friend(?) that you will always know where you stand😟😂

Aargh pressed random emojis as my phone lagged and they won't delete!

Jeez, I mean we've all thought it, but to SAY it? She maybe needs her filter replaced.

If she says stuff like that in front of you what might she be saying to your son when you aren’t in earshot!? I’m shocked you even need to ask if that’s ok- it’s not! X

but the OP hasn't put this is the context of someone she knows well who makes comments like this in general and that being OK because that is part of the dynamic. So she isn't being sensitive in this context.

If it was me, I'd ask her to elaborate.

I'd rather know how my child is viewed.

This!

I’m sure she was joking.
I’ve often said things like Oh no, not the two of you, or I’m sure your teachers are glad it’s the weekend, no smelly children, and the kids laugh (or politely pretend to).
One mother frowned and said I’m sure the teachers would never say that. Whatever luv.

Funny, I'm sure that's how many people really feel about other people's children - but would never say out loud near the child or parents in question.

Absolutely rude, though - she could've said a million other things. A simple, "not today, we have some other stuff we need to get done, too" should've sufficed.

Did you reply to her?

I think I would ask her gentle if there was a problem as you heard her say it. Be gentle about it but if I were you yes I would be upset but I'd want to understand where it came from and whether it's justified or just a bit unkind.

*gently

That is unspeakably rude

id need to tell her that you’ve reflected on it and you need to tell her how rude she is and decline play dates.

I'd say 'no, there's only so much of your sons mother I can take'

rude bitch

So many suggestions of sassy replies to the mother.

Personally I would be taken aback and then actually reflect on what has been said and why.
It's easy to think your kid isnt the problem especially if you are used to him if he being a bit loud and noisy.
I bet she said what other people are thinking tbh.