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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to tell our buyer to fuck off?

297 replies

AppleWin · 31/08/2022 09:41

We put our house on the market in March. On the first day of viewings we had multiple offers. We went with a particular couple (even though their offer wasn’t the highest) because the agent stressed that they were very proceedable and had a high deposit so wouldn’t have any hiccoughs with their mortgage - and also because they weren’t a landlord.

In July, they still hadn’t booked their survey or had their mortgage approved. It’s a character property and you’d be bloody stupid not to have a survey (even though we know the property is fine). This was very concerning because, when we had the survey on the house we’re buying, there was a six week lead time. After a few weeks of the agent chasing them and them dicking about, they said that they didn’t want a survey and their mortgage was approved. We thought they were stupid as hell not to have a survey but it’s their choice.

They’ve been pushing for a very quick move and this has mostly been held up by searches and the solicitors. We were due to exchange tomorrow and complete on Friday. As such, we spent the bank holiday moving all our possessions into a storage unit (we have a toddler and a newborn and are now living off a few items we can fit into just our car). We’ve got DS booked into a new nursery from Monday and DH has a new job near the new house (this is two hours from our current house). Obviously our risk but it’s not physically possible for us to have moved out on time with a short turnaround between exchange and completion - especially with DH and I both working full time.

Our agent phoned this morning to say that they’ve changed their mind and want a survey. We’ve told the agent that they had their chance and there’s no way. Even if it’s quicker to let them have their survey than find a new buyer, I no longer trust them not to fuck us around at every stage. We’re not reducing the price so the survey won’t help them anyway.

AIBU to say no to the survey (and curse them to hell for good measure)?

OP posts:
Jarstastic · 01/09/2022 20:48

Rosscameasdoody · 01/09/2022 19:47

RTFT. The mortgage company did a desktop survey and approved the mortgage based on that. So the OP doesn’t have to allow anything. The buyer wants their own survey even though the mortgage has already been approved on the basis of the online survey. The only reason for this is that they’re hoping to be able to negotiate a reduction based on the results.

Show quote history

I don’t think it’s the only reason.

eg some people advise to limit paying for a survey, searches etc until mortgage definitely approved.

I was in the sellers position a while back and super annoying.

RachaelN · 01/09/2022 21:05

Tell them it has to proceed as agreed. If they still want a survey bin them off. What a pair of time wasters. I feel your pain.. the venders of the property we are currently in the process of buying are being a complete nightmare. Everything has been done wrong from the start and I'm having to get a plan drawn up because they won't provide one. It's a dream house and we put the offer in at the beginning of may 😭

Jellicoe · 01/09/2022 21:29

You are totally not unreasonable and I do feel really angry for you. They are clearly doing the dickish move on you. I would put house back on market in the mean time and let them get in with whatever they need to. So sorry you had to go through this and with little ones too xx

Charlize43 · 01/09/2022 21:39

Ditch them as they are going to be messing you around: Clearly they are stalling to see if house prices go down. After the survey, they'll try to start haggling about the price and trying to get it lower.

Augustmummy · 01/09/2022 22:24

How long will a survey hold the process up by? Could you cope for another few weeks? Could you find out if they are trying to gain peace of mind or have a pla to use the results of the survey to lower the price? Tell them you're happy for them to run a survey but the results will make no difference on asking price and give them a deadline of 2 weeks - after this you will relist. Offer them a copy of your survey on purchasing the house. Be honest about anything you do know about.

And for now, maybe unpack for a while and get used to the uncertainty - it is frustrating

Battybonkers · 01/09/2022 23:27

We had a buyer that didn’t want a survey. Later on he pulled out and I realised that the not wanting a survey was a red flag to him not being committed to the sale. We found a new buyer and they bought the searches off of the previous buyer - they put pressure on their bank to get the survey sorted quickly and we managed to save the chain. I think it was only about 5 weeks from offer to completion (for them - the rest of the chain took ages cos of our first AHole buyer). I would ditch them or at least give an ultimatum: ‘we exchange on X date or we’re done: if you can sort a survey by then we’re happy to have the surveyor around but don’t want to hold out the chain any more for you…’

Mumof3confused · 01/09/2022 23:46

Tell them the price just went up.

AprilRae91 · 02/09/2022 00:06

@DogInATent if I had an offer accepted on a house then saw it was still being marketed and viewings were happening, I would pull out?

Plugs7 · 02/09/2022 00:06

I think you're being far too tolerant & polite.
If they're the type to have caused you this much hassle already, things will only get worse. Kiss them goodbye (/ Fuck them right off) & be glad to see the back of them.

1UKPhoenixUK · 02/09/2022 00:10
  1. Put property back on the market immediately.
  2. When they start to object, do inform them that the price has gone up £10k.
Frances0911 · 02/09/2022 00:38

Our house went under offer three months ago, been told by conveyancer just before exchange that we have to do a conditional contract to protect the buyers deposit, but not ours, as they are selling a partial ownership flat. Never heard of this before, and doesn't seem fair that if they pull out they will not loose their deposit, yet we do!

flowersandsunshine · 02/09/2022 01:12

Sympathise - as someone trying to buy recently, we also dithered over getting a survey done on a property we'd had an offer accepted on, and in our case, that was mainly because a survey costs money and we weren't completely sure it was the right house.

We did then pull out. However, we did that within a couple of weeks of the offer being accepted, not 6 months! To wait that long to make a move sounds like they're still stalling for time/hoping to ask for a reduction, but when they know the seller has planned all the moving and has young kids that's really unacceptable.

I can see from their point of view that they've probably got cold feet about the market potentially crashing - one thing I disagree with you on, OP, is your assumption that prices now are higher than they were in March. I think your assumption that if you put it back on the market it will attract the same interest it did in March and attract the same or higher price may be optimistic.

I think you do need to factor in that buyer interest has fallen as the expectation now is for falling prices, so those who don't have to move soon are holding off now (like us). The days of multiple viewings in a day and a choice of offers over seem to be gone (where I'm looking anyway). But as these buyers don't seem committed anyway, guess you feel you have nothing to lose?

Sibicatsndogs · 02/09/2022 01:19

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request

Charlieiscool · 02/09/2022 02:07

You need to start a new thread sibicatsndogs but YNBU and you must stand firm and protect yourself and your own family. Don’t let people abuse you and make you miserable.

RobertsRadio · 02/09/2022 02:14

@Sibicatsndogs you have posted your question on someone else's thread. You need to start your own thread on AIBU.

sassyclassyandsmartassy · 02/09/2022 07:30

@DogInATent has nailed it here! Worked in the housing industry for 20+ years and this is exactly the advice I would give!

Fisifoofoo · 02/09/2022 07:46

Whammyyammy · 31/08/2022 09:52

Give them two choices;

  1. Exchange and complete without survey
  2. You'll relist property

If they're this bad already i imagine they're the type to reduce offer before exchange anyway

Exactly this.

I don’t know where you live but round here the market has really slowed, not much is selling and many are getting reduced BUT I would tell them exchange or F off anyway.

I'm astonished that the agents/solicitors have let it go in this long, I would be having stern words with them if I was you!

My guess is that they are playing you and are likely to pull out anyway.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you x

Rosscameasdoody · 02/09/2022 08:44

AprilRae91 · 02/09/2022 00:06

@DogInATent if I had an offer accepted on a house then saw it was still being marketed and viewings were happening, I would pull out?

The house wasn't still being marketed until the buyer decided to ask for a survey two days before exchange and completion. By doing this they’ve demonstrated that they were never committed to the sale, so the OP hasn’t much choice because they will almost certainly use the survey to try to get a reduction.

Bunpea · 02/09/2022 08:48

I’d drop them - they are time wasters - and stick the house back on the market, and take heart because maybe you will get a higher price too. The market is roaring away here (up north). My neighbours house just sold. It went to closed bids from three hopeful buyers, and the final selling price is 4% more than the asking price. It could happen to you too - good luck.

Rosscameasdoody · 02/09/2022 08:52

Fisifoofoo · 02/09/2022 07:46

Exactly this.

I don’t know where you live but round here the market has really slowed, not much is selling and many are getting reduced BUT I would tell them exchange or F off anyway.

I'm astonished that the agents/solicitors have let it go in this long, I would be having stern words with them if I was you!

My guess is that they are playing you and are likely to pull out anyway.

Good luck, hope it all works out for you x

Show quote history

A lot of people saying the market is slowing. I guess it depends on where you live. We’re in the north west and locally nothing is staying up for sale more than a couple of weeks before being snapped up. My SIL passed away a couple of months ago and probate ended at the beginning of last week so the EA put up the sale board. We had three offers by the end of the week and the sale is now proceeding.

Loreleigh · 02/09/2022 08:53

They have had 6 months - well long enough, so I'd be tempted to relist and try and find a buyer that is genuinely ready-to-go as such. Good luck and hope you will be happy once settled in your new home and got this one sold to someone that won't fib or mess you about

Sumthingsweet · 02/09/2022 09:33

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Sumthingsweet · 02/09/2022 09:35

You should have married a gora

Midpmcoffee · 02/09/2022 09:35

The thing is - we all know that before contracts can be exchanged, you (and your solicitor) need to be sure that you are happy to buy the property at the price that has been agreed. This means it cannot happen until the necessary searches and surveys have taken place and any questions or queries that may have arisen as a result have been resolved.

So whilst they have left it late to ask for a survey, it is totally their prerogative and right to do this. And so seems very very risky to have thrown yourself in to new nursery and a new job two hours away before exchange. Not just risky. Utterly baffling actually.

Midpmcoffee · 02/09/2022 10:02

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