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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

She crossed my face out

71 replies

Whatsthattunecalled · 30/08/2022 23:32

Dd, 4 was drawing a picture of our family-dh, me, her and our dog. She was doing it next to me/with me, all really nice and then she put a big cross over just the picture of my face and said ‘I’m crossing you out’ so I said ‘Oh, why? are you crossing only me out?’ She looked a little sheepish/guilty maybe and didn’t say anymore, I left it at that.
Aibu to feel a bit weird about it, why cross me out and only me 🙈

OP posts:

Ariela · 31/08/2022 08:17

Just be sure to get yourself in the photos. Poor DD1 has spotted I was always behind the camera - she has almost no photos of me and her. Masses of DH and her (because I took the photos).

ChagSameachDoreen · 31/08/2022 08:17

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 31/08/2022 00:26

My son once drew a picture of him bashing the head of a girl in his class when he was 5. Including a pool of blood! It was the most disturbing thing ever. Weirder still he stuck it on the wall in his room. Very serial killer vibes.

he’s 8 now and no signs of a murderous streak yet luckily. He’s gets on well with the little girl he drew too. So who knows what that was about.

Did you not ask him?? Why did you let him put it on his wall?

Pawpatrolwereonaroll · 31/08/2022 08:19

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😆

Firsttimecatlady · 31/08/2022 08:22

Whatsthattunecalled · 30/08/2022 23:51

@Serialcatmum So why am I the poor sod with the cross over my face 🙈🤣

Because you make her feel so safe and loved that you are the person she can test boundaries with. Honestly, it’s an honour (in a weird 4yo way!!)

HaveringWavering · 31/08/2022 08:23

They've been learning about cancelling at preschool.

plinkplinkfizzer · 31/08/2022 08:29

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 31/08/2022 07:58

Ooh 4 year olds are little heart breakers aren't they?
As most PPs have said, 'do not react in anyway'
When she hands things like that to you do the 'oh that's a nice picture'

As another PP has implied. Terrible two's are full of entitled tantrums, 4 year olds are out for blood.

I remember my 4 year old being so awful, she told me she wanted a new mummy. I said 'oh no why, do I not make you happy'
She said 'no, I am going to find a new one'
She then got a little bag (whilst smiling) packed up her little toys and told her big sister (who was sat watching with no idea what to say) 'you grab the pushchair for younger sister and we will go look for a new mummy'
When I replied to that saying 'I will go make you sandwiches and drinks for your new mummy adventure' Dd broke down in the saddest tears asking why I didn't love her.
We had a chat about hurtful words and actions and she told me she loved me more than any mummy in the world, I showed her that the door was locked so I would never have let her go and all was good...until the next time she actually asked me to go make her sandwiches cos she was going to look for a new daddy. 😁

She is 8 now and is a delightful, loving little girl who has grown out of the effed up 4s and has accepted and likes the fact that we are her parents and the quest for new ones has been put away....at least until her teen years.

Damn that just triggered a memory from when my youngest then 3yrs insisted he wanted a new family , preferably rich ! He loves us really .😃

MisterMeaner · 31/08/2022 08:30

She's trying out the taboo to see how it feels. It's the same reason children play "goodies and baddies" games - moral exploration in a safe environment.

I have a very strong memory of being maybe 4, 5 or 6 and saying "I hate [insert name of person I loved to bits]" just to see what it felt like to formulate this novel sentence. I remember feeling very bad, but also secure enough in the love of that person to realise that they would not hold it against me.

Whenever my own children have said or done things like this, I just say something along the lines of, "well too bad for you, cos you're stuck with me" in a lighthearted way. As PP have said, no need to overreact - just point out that it's not nice, but carry on as normal.

Weirdlynormal · 31/08/2022 08:32

Unless you wake up with her standing over you with a knife, I’d not worry. She’s 4, they were mainly irrational.

Thurst · 31/08/2022 08:33

I would have said something like ‘that’s not kind’ and left it. It may have been something she’s seen someone do at school/nursery or she could just be seeing how you respond. I think the behaviour should be labelled as unkind though or how is she supposed to know.

AngelinaFibres · 31/08/2022 08:46

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This post has been withdrawn by the OP

This. She's either a perfectly normal 4 year old girl or a psychopath in the making. Only time will tell.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 31/08/2022 08:59

I was looking after a 4 year old for my friend. We'd sat drawing together and he was his family and their pets. When his Mum came back we showed her the drawing, she went through guessing who everyone was and when she got to her, he said no Mummy that's Mrs WhenISnappedAndFarted.

She loves you, she's testing you and because she loves you and feels safe with you, she feels like she can test the boundaries with you.

It doesn't mean anything

RaRaRaspoutine · 31/08/2022 09:08

I'm on video at 4, telling my baby DBro I will knock his head off - then I grin at the camera to see if I've got a reaction. DM did the right thing and just said nothing. 4 y/os are insane.

Astounding · 31/08/2022 09:14

I agree with not taking it personally, literally any passing thought could have been the reason. Or she just fancied putting a cross in someone’s face.

i sat round a table with a bunch of year 1s who were supposed to be doing self portraits. They all had a little mirror, there were pots of crayons with every possible colour of skin/eye, hair available. We discussed how they should look at themselves really carefully. Are their eyes just green or brown or blue or can they see any other colours in them ? Is their hair all one colour or can they see lighter or darker hair? Is their skin exactly the same colour or are any parts lighter/darker. Are there any scars, bruises, freckles, birthmarks etc? I was amazed at how many green and blue faced children were in that class and that some had given themselves rainbow hair or stripey faces. Boys with very short hair had given themselves much longer hair. There were about 5 who had actually tried to replicate what they could see in the mirror and the rest looked like they were straight out of Fraggle Rock. Truly small kids are just very random.

zingally · 31/08/2022 10:48

Like others have said - because she's 4. And 4 year olds do some weird-ass shit.

She's just pushing boundaries and experimenting with the relationship.

I remember being a very similar age, and having a bad dream where my mum was mean to me. I remember hitting her when I woke up, because I was so angry that she'd been mean mummy in my dream!

Shaaameless · 31/08/2022 10:59

I’d’ve thought it was a massive kiss. Unless your picture was better then theirs. You know how they hate it when you colour without going over the lines & they can’t, so yours gets scribbled all over.

dlizi4 · 03/09/2022 22:31

Boxowine · 31/08/2022 00:10

Because she recognizes that you are the alpha female.

THIS! 😍

Milkand2sugarsplease · 03/09/2022 22:55

Have you kissed her off today - given her the wrong plate, cut the veg wrong, denied her an extra episode of Peppa Pig?

Seriously though, all completely normal. You were sat with her and she saw a boundary she could try to push.

Chattycathydoll · 03/09/2022 22:56

When she was 4, DD liked to do intricate pictures of ‘what x animal would look like with no legs’
or no head
or what it looked like on the inside

4 y/os are just weird. Tbf my favourite was the jellyfish with no head. It was just several dangly lines

Boreded · 03/09/2022 23:05

Unfortunately it means your husband is having an affair. Get your ducks in order and LTB…

ffs…she is 4, it means nothing

ScandiSquirrel · 06/01/2023 17:28

Remember this is the age where you shouldn’t praise everything they do, like drawing. Rather say you like those colours together or that you like flowers because they smell good if they are drawing a flower.
She could have crossed it out because she realised it didn’t look exactly like you. Or just to see your reaction.

pillow56 · 06/01/2023 17:36

my friends 2 yo son used to do this to me or something similar. I'd come around he'd love me but when dad came home he'd want attention so when me and the dad started talking the 2yo would say ''go you home now''. They are young kids, don't take it personally. Their logic is very different and all over the place.

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