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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

She crossed my face out

71 replies

Whatsthattunecalled · 30/08/2022 23:32

Dd, 4 was drawing a picture of our family-dh, me, her and our dog. She was doing it next to me/with me, all really nice and then she put a big cross over just the picture of my face and said ‘I’m crossing you out’ so I said ‘Oh, why? are you crossing only me out?’ She looked a little sheepish/guilty maybe and didn’t say anymore, I left it at that.
Aibu to feel a bit weird about it, why cross me out and only me 🙈

OP posts:

unname · 31/08/2022 02:22

It’s because you are gorgeous and she’s frustrated she cannot do you justice on paper.😁

Trying20 · 31/08/2022 02:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn by the OP

TequilaStories · 31/08/2022 02:58

She’s four! She could just feel embarrassed because she decided it wasn’t good enough. Mine did that a lot, become furious, cross out things and rip them up because they didn’t like what they just drew.

Bexblue · 31/08/2022 03:18

Cause kids are arseholes sometimes

OldYork · 31/08/2022 05:22

She might have seen someone at nursery do it and is hoping to get a reaction (boundary testing).….one of mine went through a phase of declaring “I’ll cross you out” and when I spoke to the nursery teacher she sighed and said…yes it seems to be all the fashion these days in the pre-school room. She didn’t really know what it meant other than she likes doing big dramatic crosses and declarations:) Also grew out of it after a couple of weeks

Santasushi · 31/08/2022 05:31

You probably made her put her shoes on or eat all of her dinner.

phishy · 31/08/2022 05:48

Whatsthattunecalled · 30/08/2022 23:51

@Serialcatmum So why am I the poor sod with the cross over my face 🙈🤣

Why not you?! She’s 4.

Onlyforcake · 31/08/2022 05:51

The human brain does not fully mature until 25, she's still got a lot to sort out!

Sandysandwich · 31/08/2022 05:58

Probably because you were sat there, if she was sat drawing with her dad she would probably have crossed him out.
I wouldnt worry.

I found out about victorian death photos from a history programme when I was 5, and then as I was at my grandmas house I drew her dead with the rest of us alive. I think she was grey with blood all over her.
She was not thrilled about it, i thought it was just because my picture was bad, kids are weird she probably wont have secret motives.

Unexpecteddrivinginstructor · 31/08/2022 06:18

Thought this was going to be another possessive MIL/SIL thread 🤣. At 4 I wouldn't worry about it, probably is because she feels safe with you whatever she does.

FlibbertyGibbitt · 31/08/2022 06:31

I’ve got several photos when my face was drawn over (how rude 🤣) it’s ok Op though, mine are in their twenties and quite normal !

AnotherAnxiousMess · 31/08/2022 06:57

😂This is something my 4 year old would do too. The other day I told her off for hitting her little sister, 5 minutes later she had drawn a picture of me and her sister holding hands and smiling and next to it a picture of her crying, I felt awful! Later that day, she did the same drawing for her daddy when he told her off for hitting her sister again! They test a lot of boundaries at this age.

Oysterbabe · 31/08/2022 07:29

Ah I remember my DD doing similar. She had a disagreement with her brother, so she drew a picture of him then crossed it out. Then she followed him around the house with the picture repeating
I crossed you out
For ages.

4 year olds do random things.

CrystalCoco · 31/08/2022 07:38

Are you concerned that you just got cancelled by your 4 year old? 😅

ElegantlyTouched · 31/08/2022 07:38

bert3400 · 31/08/2022 00:28

Because she feels so loved from you she can push the boundaries, this mantra has kept me sane through all 4 of my children's lives, especially in the teenage years 😊... a Social worker friend told me that kids who don't kick back/off to thier loved ones, are the ones we need too worry about (They are frightened that the parent will abandoned them) The kids that do what your daughter did, they are the ones that feel secure, that no matter what they say or do, you will always love them ❤️

Thank you for confirming what I've felt for a long time, that parents with teens who kick off to them must have a good relationship with them. My dad died when I was a child and I was always petrified my mum would die too/ leave (as she'd threatened) so never did stand up for myself as a teen. I'd have far better MH as an adult if I'd be able to.

3peassuit · 31/08/2022 07:41

4 year olds are mostly lovely but they can have moments when they’re little gits. I wouldn’t worry.

Bumpsadaisie · 31/08/2022 07:49

She's 4!

Small children are full of feelings. She loves you to bits and she'd be devastated if she lost you. At the same time she'd dearly like to knock her off your perch and be the queen bee herself.

It's normal.

Don't get in a panic about it or she will become very worried about her bad feelings towards you. If you show you don't mind and can manage them, she will feel that they're manageable herself.

Bumpsadaisie · 31/08/2022 07:49

Knock you off your perch ...

Idroppedthescrewinthetuna · 31/08/2022 07:58

Ooh 4 year olds are little heart breakers aren't they?
As most PPs have said, 'do not react in anyway'
When she hands things like that to you do the 'oh that's a nice picture'

As another PP has implied. Terrible two's are full of entitled tantrums, 4 year olds are out for blood.

I remember my 4 year old being so awful, she told me she wanted a new mummy. I said 'oh no why, do I not make you happy'
She said 'no, I am going to find a new one'
She then got a little bag (whilst smiling) packed up her little toys and told her big sister (who was sat watching with no idea what to say) 'you grab the pushchair for younger sister and we will go look for a new mummy'
When I replied to that saying 'I will go make you sandwiches and drinks for your new mummy adventure' Dd broke down in the saddest tears asking why I didn't love her.
We had a chat about hurtful words and actions and she told me she loved me more than any mummy in the world, I showed her that the door was locked so I would never have let her go and all was good...until the next time she actually asked me to go make her sandwiches cos she was going to look for a new daddy. 😁

She is 8 now and is a delightful, loving little girl who has grown out of the effed up 4s and has accepted and likes the fact that we are her parents and the quest for new ones has been put away....at least until her teen years.

Charlize43 · 31/08/2022 08:04

Check behind her ears for those 666 marks... You never know she could be just like that Damian kid.

MumofSpud · 31/08/2022 08:07

Aquamarine1029 · 31/08/2022 00:13

Four year olds do really weird shit. She crossed you out to see if there would be a reaction and especially because you are her rock, her constant. You are her safety. She feels safe to push boundaries with you. Trust me, it's nothing personal.

They will do this as teenagers too
The closer they are to you, the more they will test that bond this is what I am telling myself anyhow with DD16

girlmom21 · 31/08/2022 08:08

Ha kids are arses sometimes.

My 3 year old told me she'll never talk to me again the other day. I said "oh thank goodness, peace at last"

She got over it about 4 seconds later when she realised she's got a million ridiculous questions a minute that need asking

Annoyingnamechangerperson · 31/08/2022 08:10

This is definitely a 4 year old thing.
My 4 year old picks baby dolls at random and puts a red cross on their forehead some have it some don't.
I remember taking her to the GP once (for something unrelated, not because of the cross thing 😁) and the GP was quite taken aback by the baby doll facing him with a red cross on its forehead.

Justkidding55 · 31/08/2022 08:10

In the films this is always what happens before the kid murders their parent. 😂

Tigerstigers · 31/08/2022 08:15

I really wouldn't take it personally. My dd at age 3-4 drew a picture of our cat "dead" covered in blood and said the dog killed her... She adores both the cat and dog, and the pets both adore eachother too, so it was completely random?! My eldest would often drew pictures and cross parts out if she didn't like how the picture turned out. Could be that she didn't think it looked quite right also. 4 year olds have no reason for most of the stuff they do!

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