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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked and appalled by music video by rapper "AarDee" (and also shocked that there doesn't seem to be any backlash that I can find?

137 replies

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 13:04

OK, so my world would never normally intersect with the world of heavy UK teen rap (or whatever the correct name is for the genre), but I was with my DS at a barber shop today, a trendy one where they show the latest music videos, and while his hair was being cut I happened to see the video to a song called Hello Mate by this guy AarDee (Googling him I see he is 19 and comes from Brighton).

I am very far from prudish or pearl-clutching, was a pretty counter-culture heavy rocker in my day etc. I've seen and done a lot. I am not easily shocked and am strongly in favour of freedom of expression. But: this video has to be seen to be believed. Unless I am mistaken and I was watching some sort of elaborate piss-take, it depicts a couple (AarDee and a girl) going into a shop with a baseball bat and gaffer tape, terrorising and tying up the staff, wrecking the shop, stealing stuff including lots of booze and then retreating to a mansion to celebrate merrily with a huge pool party. The main dude "AarDee" has a constant arrogant and self-satisfied look on his face.

Now, I am sure many people would agree that this guy is probably an arrogant little twerp (irrespective of the merits of the music, which would be subjective, but which I imagine a lot of people like, given his apparent popularity). And the entertainment/music industry has always been full of arrogant twerps and worse, obviously. So that's no big deal. But this is a graphic video, presumably aimed at teens as the boy is a teen, totally glorifying crime and violence, revelling in it. I had a look around the internet for what I imagined would be multiple mentions of this angle, but all I could find was fulsome praise of the guy and his music, including this song. No-one mentioning what the video actually shows. This is just normal then?

Am I alone in thinking this is a real problem? Am I missing something here?

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 15:54

I didn't actually detect any misogyny in the video (could not hear the lyrics, so don't know about them, but the visuals showed boys and girls equally being both dissocial and having fun).

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 15:56

@Sunnyqueen I don't know Nicky Minaj but would say that sucking dicks is very different from violently robbing a supermarket!

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 30/08/2022 15:57

Given the amount of teenagers roaming around in gangs carrying knifes and yes, murdering each other in some.cases, I have to agree OP, that it doesn't send a particularly good message to young ppl.

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 30/08/2022 15:59

@theDudesmummy you're being very overdramatic. The video was very stylised and quite mild compared to other rap/grime videos I've seen. Your DS didn't actually see it, so I think you're complaining about nothing.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/08/2022 16:00

I just watched the video. Seemed fairly tame to me, no actual depiction of violence, the man getting tied up wasn’t resisting and no actual aggression towards it. Videos like Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch Up or Jane’s Addictions’ Been Caught Stealing were more shocking/ controversial in the things they depicted as just a good time.

PonyTime · 30/08/2022 16:00

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 15:35

@PonyTime that was not exactly what I said. It is not the direct effects of the video on any specific "young minds" that may be watching it that I expressed concern about. Kids are not going to watch the video and directly connect up the dots to going out and turning over a supermarket so they can have a party.

It is more about the evolution of the social milieu in which we live (whether knowing we do or not). The depiction of crime/dissocial behaviour by teenagers as glamorous/cool/great fun, without it being questioned by anyone it seems, surely has wider effects on society as a whole, subtly and over time. I would not want the video "banned", but I think it is worth talking about.

Hence my not storming out of the barber/writing to The Times or 4Music (the channel that was showing)/starting a campaign against ArrDee/telling my DS not to watch videos. Instead I started a (I hope) civil conversation on a parenting website, to see what others thought, acknowledged I am a dinosaur and in the minority, and thought about what conversation I would/will have with my DS if he watched this video or similar ones.

But it's not an 'evolution'

Music videos have shown similar acts for decades

You're just getting old and that's ok, but let's cut the shit and accept that's the issue here. Not the video itself

Happens to us all, the list of things I have caught myself thinking and acknowledging it's something my mum or grandmother would have done are endless (thinks back to offering a group of teens a cover up as it was freezing and they're in mini skirts!)

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 30/08/2022 16:01

I quite liked Ardee's energy as well. By the looks of things, he's doing very well for himself!

Keyansier · 30/08/2022 16:01

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 15:52

@Keyansier yes you are right about that album. And I thought it was a work of genius, then and now. The first time I listened to it I actually had to pull my car over to the side of the road, so affected was I.

Maybe I am just hypocritical, but thinking about it, perhaps there is a difference in that Eminem was presenting something acknowledged to be dark, disturbing, violent fantasy. He was purposely and explicitly exploring that part of his own psyche. Therein lay the art. This ArrDee video is presented as frothy and glamourous sunshiny fun with his friends. There is a difference, surely?

Or maybe not and I am just an ancient hypocrite who lives in the fabled better past!

I can't see a difference personally. Unless he was christened "ArrDee" (and a quick google says he wasn't) then what's to say that that isn't just a character, exploring that part of that character's psyche, like Marshall did/does with Eminem?

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 30/08/2022 16:02

MolkosTeenageAngst · 30/08/2022 16:00

I just watched the video. Seemed fairly tame to me, no actual depiction of violence, the man getting tied up wasn’t resisting and no actual aggression towards it. Videos like Prodigy’s Smack My Bitch Up or Jane’s Addictions’ Been Caught Stealing were more shocking/ controversial in the things they depicted as just a good time.

@MolkosTeenageAngst my thoughts exactly 👍🏻

Culldesack · 30/08/2022 16:06

PonyTime · 30/08/2022 15:32

Good thing you don't have to listen to it then isn't it

It certainly is. Next worthless remark?

Cas112 · 30/08/2022 16:06

titchy · 30/08/2022 13:15

Wait till you watch a Quentin Tarantino film. Or quite a lot of films for that matter. And probably some Eastenders content. Loads of gratuitous violence.

This 😂

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 30/08/2022 16:06

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 15:56

@Sunnyqueen I don't know Nicky Minaj but would say that sucking dicks is very different from violently robbing a supermarket!

He wasn't violent!

saveforthat · 30/08/2022 16:09

I agree with you op. Violence shown as a way to have fun in a music video is (imo) completely different to violent films.

EmmaH2022 · 30/08/2022 16:09

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 13:30

Should say I haven't watched a NEW music video in 20 years. I watch old ones all the time!

First thing I thought here was Beastie Boys from 30 years ago. But interestingly, YouTube asked me to sign in fir age when I tried to watch that, but not the one you mention

i agree it’s not new, this sort of video has been around for decades.

PinkFizz1 · 30/08/2022 16:09

OhmygodDont · 30/08/2022 15:20

The same Arrdee who made a great song dedicated to his sister with Down syndrome. Yeah his not exactly the worst rapper out there.

you should hear the words to freaky girl by Nicki Minaj I bet her video is pure filth based on the words. No murder though just sucking dicks and that.

@OhmygodDont That’s Aitch 😉

I’m a grown woman in her 30s and I love Aitch, and Arrdee!

OhmygodDont · 30/08/2022 16:13

PinkFizz1 · 30/08/2022 16:09

@OhmygodDont That’s Aitch 😉

I’m a grown woman in her 30s and I love Aitch, and Arrdee!

Your right haha arrdee is the other one. I mix the pair up quite often. My children would be embarrassed lol

GettingBraceTodayHelp · 30/08/2022 16:18

My 10 year old was talking non stop about "de baby". I thought, "Ahh cute, a rapper for the little ones"! He played me some of the music on his Alexa and OMG!!! Never heard so much swearing (and pretty bad words at that!!) Luckily DS had no idea what the rapper was talking about, or knew what the words were!! But crikey!! We really have to be on the look out these days!

Gingerkittykat · 30/08/2022 16:18

I went and watched the video and I've also got to say I am shocked. During their rampage on the shop, Arrdee and his girlfriend stole milk and cereal and poured the milk straight into the cereal box. Such savagery should be banned.

GettingBraceTodayHelp · 30/08/2022 16:19

Gingerkittykat · 30/08/2022 16:18

I went and watched the video and I've also got to say I am shocked. During their rampage on the shop, Arrdee and his girlfriend stole milk and cereal and poured the milk straight into the cereal box. Such savagery should be banned.

🤣🤣🤣

drumroll · 30/08/2022 16:28

I just had a look on YouTube . It's not the worst and kinda what I expect from that genre and age group. But I get what you mean - it's hardly a great thing for young adults to watch and aspire to etc.

ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 30/08/2022 16:28

Gingerkittykat · 30/08/2022 16:18

I went and watched the video and I've also got to say I am shocked. During their rampage on the shop, Arrdee and his girlfriend stole milk and cereal and poured the milk straight into the cereal box. Such savagery should be banned.

🤣🤣

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 16:29

The milk bit was the only part I actually liked, I thought it was very funny

OP posts:
Elmore · 30/08/2022 16:30

Nothing shocks you but this very banal video has you reaching for the smelling salts ?

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 16:44

The fact that violence and crime is depicted as banal and fun is precisely what I didn't like, yes. I work in a job where I deal with the details and effects of extreme violent crime frequently, but it's not trivialised and glamorised as part of "summer fun", that is the point I am making.

OP posts:
ICrunchCrispsNotNumbers · 30/08/2022 16:45

theDudesmummy · 30/08/2022 16:44

The fact that violence and crime is depicted as banal and fun is precisely what I didn't like, yes. I work in a job where I deal with the details and effects of extreme violent crime frequently, but it's not trivialised and glamorised as part of "summer fun", that is the point I am making.

@theDudesmummy it's a music video, Not a morality tale.

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