Husband Climbing

[939300EJL]

So husband is off to the Alps tomorrow climbing…I thought he was going to Fontanbleu…communication is rubbish as it has been for thirty years!!
He genuinely keeps me in the dark with plans and I have to fucking quiz him to know what he is doing!
So tonight I asked him exactly where he is going !! He is climbing Mont Blanc ..he is 65 ! Very commendable but also not sensible because he only told me tonight,the adult children were not aware …I asked him where his Will is if he has an accident…he doesn’t know where it is !!
Am I unreasonable to expect husband to be sensible and know where the paperwork is if there is a problem and communicate his plans !! Children pissed off that he hasn’t told them what he is doing!!
And no am not a gold digger but surely a sensible person of his age should be more diligent with communication !!

Ok, yanbu that he should di#cuss where he’s going, risk and contingency plans ahead of trip

but the Will milarky you’re saying is a red herring. You should both have valid Wills in place even if he was a couch potato. And for that matter LPA . Without the, you are both idiots and setting yourselves up for a lot of stress, delays and worries when one of you eventually dies- which you will even if hovering was your most active pastime. It’s a bit bloody late to be worrying about a Will now when he’s been a climber for years and you’re both in your later years. 🤦‍♀️

I assume he won’t be by himself?

he sounds like dh and I don’t always know which country he’s in never mind which mountain he’s climbing. I just know if something happens someone will contact me. Either his climbing partner or the authorities. Mountains like Mont Blanc are busy, if there’s an accident someone will see the accident.

Same if you have Will and don’t know where it is- it should be stored in fireproof place, and with solicitor. For goodness sake stop being so blasé with your futures that you don’t have a given storage place for important docs like this, birth cert. Marriage certs, building insurance - if you have a fire or flood and need to get out quick you’ll need these docs.

Not true if there are children.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

More people die on Ben Nevis every year than on Mt Everest.

I imagine the cost of getting to Mt Everest base camp is somewhat prohibitive for most people.

I cannot stress this enough. The spouse gets jointly owned property, personal property, the first £270,000 and half the remainder. The children get the rest. In some families, this may be fine. In others (say the wife isn’t on the deeds and the main asset is the house which is in the centre of London and is now worth a couple of million), it can result in a spouse being thrown out of (usually her) home because the children force a sale.

It may be that none of this relates to the OP (and it looks like the husband has a will anyway) but having the vague impression ‘I don’t need a will, my spouse gets the lot’ regularly causes major issues.

There was a memorable thread recently with massive overuse of ... I think it got deleted. Problem is that I can't remember what the memorable thread was about. 🤔

YANBU.
My DH is also a climber. He's got the right insurance, wills are written and when he goes climbing he tells me where he's going and roughly when he's back.
If he's away for a few days, we talk about how long he's going for (to make sure it suits me too) and if he's going to be unable to contact me, let's me know how long for etc.
He went somewhere in the UK this summer which is tricky and left a very detailed itinerary.
It's not very responsible of your husband just to bugger off without leaving this kind of information. It compromises his safety.

@Beamur you are assuming the DH hasn't told anyone. I'd bet there are other friends or friends partners who knew the exact plan weeks ago.

My guess is he has held back the details from the Op to avoid her ranting at him about how he's not as fit as he was 10 years ago etc keep her in the dark, tell her last minute, avoids his ears getting nagged!

I have a worrier in my life, I love them dearly but OMG don't tell them anything that is remotely risky or they'll nip your head forever trying to convince you not to do it and have your boxed up in their head with songs picked out!

you are assuming the DH hasn't told anyone. I'd bet there are other friends or friends partners who knew the exact plan weeks ago.

Maybe, maybe not, my DH (pre DC) typically soloed so nobody would know his plans but me. It does sound like the OP is a bit of a stress-er though (and I don’t really get why she’s got the kids involved…)

@Dinoteeth maybe!
DH never used to tell his parents about his climbing for this reason. He tried it in his teens, loved it but knew his Dad would kick off. Waited until he went to Uni then spent all his time climbing 😄

I tell my oh where I'm going and what I'm doing but that's about it. In 30+ years of climbing my experience is that the more people know the more people worry. OH can know because she has experience of doing it and knows what it entails, knows my natural risk aversion etc etc.

If OH wasn't experienced I'd probably omit some details

If OH wasn't experienced I'd probably omit some details

Sure, but she was under the impression he was going bouldering?

Maybe not quite that much detail

@dockspider she's got the kids involved because she's a stresser and needs to vent her fears and worries at someone.
DH has given her as little time as possible worry and to vent, moan, rant at him.

@Beamur I know a few guys who had motorbikes their parents knew nothing about, Inc one set of parents whos first knowledge was the police telling them their DS was in hospital.