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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To rat out these CFs

279 replies

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 15:28

Two family members, who I used to think were very nice, gleefully told me two years ago that they have been moving back their fence every year and have been stealing land.

But it's ok because their neighbours are elderly and haven't noticed. 😱

They live in the country side and you cannot see the neighbours house from their garden. Their neighbours land covers all three sides of their house and is a wooded area. They have tripled the size of their garden.

They were smug when they mentioned that if they used the land for a certain number of years the rightful owners couldn't take it back due to some law.

After this conversation I can't see them in the same light and now every time I meet up with them I realise they just aren't good people. I also feel so guilty knowing this and not doing anything.

I also know that either at the end of this year or some point next year the time will have passed that the neighbours can't do anything.

I am considering sending them an anonymous letter. Should I? I could find them on google maps. A big part of me doesn't want to get involved then another just wants justice to prevail.

I also live abroad. So any letter sent from my country, should the neighbours show it to said family members, would obviously be from me. I don't want this family to know how I feel as it would cause chaos with the rest of the family. I would rather make it anonymous. How would I do this? Would this give me bad or good karma?

YANBU : Write the letter
YaBU : Don't get involved

OP posts:
DaphneSprucesPippasClack · 29/08/2022 15:30

Yanbu!!

LadyLothbrook · 29/08/2022 15:31

Send it via moonpig.

LovelyQuiche · 29/08/2022 15:31

That is terrible!
I’d have no idea what to do!

Pixiedust1234 · 29/08/2022 15:32

Write the letter. I cant stand thieves.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 29/08/2022 15:32

I’d write the letter. Not ok to take the piss because someone is vulnerable (I’m assuming they are very elderly and so not noticing because of reduced ability).

I wouldn’t care if it was scrub land etc

Meraas · 29/08/2022 15:32

YANBU. Could you also right to the local council (or whoever)? Or even the police?

Elder abuse is a serious crime.

Ringsender2 · 29/08/2022 15:33

LadyLothbrook · 29/08/2022 15:31

Send it via moonpig.

^ this is what I was going to suggest ^

land-grabbers are the lowest of the low

Blowthemandown · 29/08/2022 15:33

Contact the council or land registry @gerbalgreen

Pebblebeach15 · 29/08/2022 15:33

I am not sure they can keep it , although I may be wrong . Years and years ago I bought a house and the boundary on the land registry had been marked in a thick pen so a few meters of land were under ownership question . Despite telling solicitors that I did not care and just to give it to the other house it all had to be sorted and was very slow .

balalake · 29/08/2022 15:34

There was a proposal to make trespassing a criminal offence. If it happened, then reasonable to contact the police.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 29/08/2022 15:34

You can't ignore it, can you? Tell them, tell the local council, tell anyone you think could help.

HouseOfWaffles · 29/08/2022 15:36

When I bought my house there was a strip of 1m at the bottom of the garden that wasn't on the land register as belonging to the house and it held things up for months. In the end, the seller had to take down the fence and rebuild it to exclude the land in order to proceed.

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 15:36

I'm really pleased at these responses I though everyone would tell me to butt my nose out of it. The problem with moon pig is that I would be relying on them not to pass on my personal data to those receiving the card. If they got in touch with moon pig and asked who the sender was, I know moon pig legally couldn't give it, that doesn't mean that they don't

OP posts:
WeepingSomnambulist · 29/08/2022 15:36

Make a dummy Facebook profile and post on the local village/area Facebook group. Say you were out walking and noticed fences have moved and you're sure that land uses to belong to someone else. Everyone in the village will then know!

Or send a card through moonpig as above. Much smarter idea!

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 29/08/2022 15:37

WeepingSomnambulist · 29/08/2022 15:36

Make a dummy Facebook profile and post on the local village/area Facebook group. Say you were out walking and noticed fences have moved and you're sure that land uses to belong to someone else. Everyone in the village will then know!

Or send a card through moonpig as above. Much smarter idea!

Some people are devilishly clever

WeepingSomnambulist · 29/08/2022 15:38

Why would they even ask who sent it?
Just write in the note that you dont want to be caught in the middle of this but think what is happening is disgusting so wanted to let them know that their land is being stolen and all they have to do is go and look to see for themselves.

They arent going to call up moonpug and ask for you contact details.

justfiveminutes · 29/08/2022 15:39

Well they're idiots because they have to apply to be registered as proprietor of the land and, as of last year, the law changed to make that virtually impossible. 'Adverse possession' for 12 years no longer affects the original owner's title. Fancy going to the trouble of moving the fence every year only to find out that, when the attempted grab is noticed, when they sell or their neighbours do, they'll have to move it back.

KyaClark · 29/08/2022 15:39

They won't care who sent it and Moonpig wouldn't tell them even if they asked.

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

WeepingSomnambulist · 29/08/2022 15:40

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

Ignore this one.

category12 · 29/08/2022 15:40

Moonpig wouldn't give out your details, it would be a breach of GDPR.

justfiveminutes · 29/08/2022 15:40

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

Depends what you're snitching about surely.

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 15:41

Would you be ashamed if your daughter did this to a family member you cared about? My parents adore these people. In my family the motto is 'family above everything else.' I just feel guilty if I do and guilty if I don't

OP posts:
Dougieowner · 29/08/2022 15:42

Do you know someone in the UK?
If so you could send the letter (within a covering envelope of course) and ask them to attach a UK stamp and forward it.

AryaStarkWolf · 29/08/2022 15:42

justfiveminutes · 29/08/2022 15:39

Well they're idiots because they have to apply to be registered as proprietor of the land and, as of last year, the law changed to make that virtually impossible. 'Adverse possession' for 12 years no longer affects the original owner's title. Fancy going to the trouble of moving the fence every year only to find out that, when the attempted grab is noticed, when they sell or their neighbours do, they'll have to move it back.

Yeah was just going to say, even if they moved their fence, the land will still be on the elderly couples maps as being theirs