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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To rat out these CFs

279 replies

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 15:28

Two family members, who I used to think were very nice, gleefully told me two years ago that they have been moving back their fence every year and have been stealing land.

But it's ok because their neighbours are elderly and haven't noticed. 😱

They live in the country side and you cannot see the neighbours house from their garden. Their neighbours land covers all three sides of their house and is a wooded area. They have tripled the size of their garden.

They were smug when they mentioned that if they used the land for a certain number of years the rightful owners couldn't take it back due to some law.

After this conversation I can't see them in the same light and now every time I meet up with them I realise they just aren't good people. I also feel so guilty knowing this and not doing anything.

I also know that either at the end of this year or some point next year the time will have passed that the neighbours can't do anything.

I am considering sending them an anonymous letter. Should I? I could find them on google maps. A big part of me doesn't want to get involved then another just wants justice to prevail.

I also live abroad. So any letter sent from my country, should the neighbours show it to said family members, would obviously be from me. I don't want this family to know how I feel as it would cause chaos with the rest of the family. I would rather make it anonymous. How would I do this? Would this give me bad or good karma?

YANBU : Write the letter
YaBU : Don't get involved

OP posts:
Onebreathmore · 29/08/2022 16:45

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 15:41

Would you be ashamed if your daughter did this to a family member you cared about? My parents adore these people. In my family the motto is 'family above everything else.' I just feel guilty if I do and guilty if I don't

Is @LampLighter414 part of your family Grin

BeggarsMeddle · 29/08/2022 16:45

The council won't get involved in boundary disputes between two parties re private land. If it were a boundary abutting the highway or council-owned land that would be a different matter.

ScamelaAnderson · 29/08/2022 16:45

LadyLothbrook · 29/08/2022 15:31

Send it via moonpig.

I love this!!!!!

WTHamIreading · 29/08/2022 16:46

@TwittleBee I remember your thread!

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 16:47

I think the land is big enough that the neighbours may not notice even if they went for a walk down there.

If the land is large and wooded/ uneven terrain, would it even be picked up in the event of a sale? The garden was small before and now is just a nice normal size. So it's two small gardens worth of land.

I believe my family have built on the stolen land or partially on it.

I am going to try and find the address then ill head to moon pig

OP posts:
gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 16:48

what shall I write to the neighbours? What details will they need?

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 29/08/2022 16:48

LadyLothbrook · 29/08/2022 15:31

Send it via moonpig.

GENIUS!! Do this, OP!

These elderly people are likely to have children that can deal with the matter and get solicitors involved.

Make sure you tell them about the land-use law and how close the CFs are to claiming the land as their own.

I take it they have chopped down some of that wooded areas to claim the land as their garden?

Your relatives are disgraceful thieves.

ScamelaAnderson · 29/08/2022 16:48

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

Ignore Ignore Ignore

They are trolling you

Thatswhyimacat · 29/08/2022 16:49

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

Nothing worse than people who condone stealing from the elderly.

Leftbutcameback · 29/08/2022 16:49

@gerbalgreen the land may well be sold for development and it would definitely be picked up then. I used to do that sort of work and obviously every bit of land counts. We would walk the boundaries to check them and a surveyor would survey and map them too

StaunchMomma · 29/08/2022 16:50

gerbalgreen · 29/08/2022 15:36

I'm really pleased at these responses I though everyone would tell me to butt my nose out of it. The problem with moon pig is that I would be relying on them not to pass on my personal data to those receiving the card. If they got in touch with moon pig and asked who the sender was, I know moon pig legally couldn't give it, that doesn't mean that they don't

They can't and they don't.

Same with flower delivery companies.

The amount of trouble they'd be in is not worth the risk.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 29/08/2022 16:52

I really hate this idea that being a grass is worse than being the awful person to start with. It’s enabling nonsense.

Like a grass is worse than a thief, murderer, etc. You will have done zero wrong and being a “grass” isn’t a crime.

ScamelaAnderson · 29/08/2022 16:53

TwittleBee · 29/08/2022 16:08

Please do write to them and let them know!

Simialr happened to us with our woodland.

Took ages to get resolved and still have one section which we cannot get resolved because some CFs built on it

I think I remember this from a couple of years ago...how did that go?

IcedOatLatte · 29/08/2022 16:58

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

You must be of very limited intelligence if you can't conceive of anything worse than telling elderly people that someone is trying ti steal their land

Can you really, really not think of something worse, however hard you try?

OP - I'd try to let them know, I like the Facebook group suggestion.

Somethingneedstochange · 29/08/2022 16:59

Write the letter the elderly person may at some point need to sell they're house for nursing home care. Or even write an anonymous one to the neighbour so they can report them themselves to the council. Just tell them to say they noticed what they had been doing. CF

BitOutOfPractice · 29/08/2022 17:00

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

There is something worse than a snitch. A thief.

LilianLenton · 29/08/2022 17:00

Please let us know when you've decided how to proceed, OP. I would also happily pass a message along to them. I hope the CFs make good the fence/boundary they've obviously dismantled.

Caroffee · 29/08/2022 17:01

I'm usually a 'don't get involved' type of person but in this particular case, I'd write the letter. You are right when you say that these family members are not good people. In fact, they are greedy thieves.

fairycakes1234 · 29/08/2022 17:02

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

a snitch? Good god

IcedOatLatte · 29/08/2022 17:02

StaunchMomma · 29/08/2022 16:50

They can't and they don't.

Same with flower delivery companies.

The amount of trouble they'd be in is not worth the risk.

It does happen, I was sent a gift and something must have gone wrong with the printer that made the message and I had no idea who it was from. I rang and explained and they told me who had sent it

IcedOatLatte · 29/08/2022 17:04

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fladdermus · 29/08/2022 17:04

You could call the Age UK Advice Line on 0800 678 1602 and tell them and ask them who to report it to.

AuntMargo · 29/08/2022 17:05

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

probably does this sort of thing and more !!

blondiebrownies · 29/08/2022 17:05

Not to be morbid but presumably there’s deeds which show how much land is legally your relatives and their neighbours and the boundaries. Presumably the neighbours have a will and eventually this will be discovered

CPL593H · 29/08/2022 17:12

LampLighter414 · 29/08/2022 15:39

Nope. Nothing worse than a snitch. Keep your snout out. Just don’t talk to them anymore if you don’t agree with them.

There are many, many things worse than a "snitch". People stealing off elderly and vulnerable people, for a start.

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