To wish DH would take some nice photos …

[hotbankhols]

Friends Facebook, her partner has put up lots of lovely photos of the spontaneous sort. Capturing those warm sort of moments like your toddler holding your hand, looking into one another’s eyes laughing, showing your toddler something.

Me - any photos I DO have of the two of us are when I’ve had to ask DH to take them. So inevitably show me grimacing and clinging onto a squirming child.

Anyone else with a husband / partner like mine?

time to sit down and have “the talk” with your DH.

Show him the online gallery of spontaneous moments. How other DHs manage to capture beauty and moments.

Show him the sheer unreasonableness of him not being able to do the same and help you live out that image on social media.

Then set terms and conditions. One “warm” photo a week or it’s decree nisi.

YANBU and I hope it’s not time to LTB.

YANBU to be annoyed by this

DH always takes lovely images of me with the kids when out and enjoys getting them all printed and put in photo books depending on the outing

You're just unfortunately going to need to tell him you want this, not all men are thoughtful about this kind of stuff

By all means encourage DH to take spontaneous photos but please don’t put them on FB. They will be there forever and your DC may not thank you.

It’s not really about Facebook, although if I have the sort of relationship that is forever damaged by a photo of me and toddler aged DS walking hand in hand through the woods, I’ll consider we have a problematic relationship outside of the photos. It is just a shame that there aren’t any photos that sort of capture the relationship we have.

DH's family didn't really do snaps. There was the semi-formal annual line up as the next sibling had communion, so it rarely occurs to DH to take a photo to remember a pleasant photo.

I ask now and then because having lost a parent in childhood, that record of what your family is like is important. It's not just #makingmemories #livingyourbestlife, it's evidencing that you were there because life moves on.

Yes, I lost my mum when I was seventeen and it was impossible finding a photo of just us, they all had my brother on there too. I mean, nothing against him - but you know!

I bet they aren’t actually spontaneous. They ar probably staged for social media.

Same here. We have a friend who takes nice photos. That’s how I achieve a true likeness of me and my children and some kind of record that we existed.

I had a “D”H like that. With hindsight it was just another piece of evidence he didn’t like me very much!

We’re divorced now and it’s sad that there are hardly any pics of me with the children when they were small. Since splitting I make sure we do the odd selfie together now on holidays etc but otherwise there are very few good pictures of us 😕

That’s not really what I mean, though @TorviShieldMaiden . I know social media is utterly crass on here, but it shows a relationship, a moment.

DH thinks he’s good at taking pictures but he’s rubbish, they are always wonky, not framed properly, blurred. Doesn’t wait until I am looking at the camera. It annoys me, it’s one of those things men think they are good at.

My ex was like this, I'd take lots of photos of the DC with him while they were larking about (which he loved having), but he would never think to take them of me with them, I had to keep telling him to which ruined the spontaneity of it.

There have actually been studies that show that when you don’t take photos, you remember more of a holiday/event. When lots of photos are taken then you tend to remember the photos. If that makes sense.

Anyway if it’s important to you, tell him. Otherwise how is he supposed to know. I went with my dc yesterday and didn’t take a single photo. I’m a single parent though, so no one to take photos of me and dc.

Yep. I get fed up of having to ask DH to take photos. If I didn’t ask, I wouldn’t actually be in any of our family photos at all.

i take some of DH and the kids if we’re out somewhere special or on holiday, but no one would think of then taking the phone off me and then taking some pics that actually include me!

Yes always ask for a proof of mum photo

Of course I have told him, but the problem is that the nicer photos are the spontaneous ones and so by telling someone by the nature of things they aren’t taking spontaneous photos.

I think a lot of men are like this. I have loads of beautiful candid images of the children and their dad, but rare to have any of me. My mum was the same - always the photographer so there are not many images of her from when we were children but lots of my dad, even though she was a SAHM and we spent much more time with her than my dad.

I now ask DH to take pictures, and while they are nice images, they are not candid which is a shame - like the tickling or spontaneous cuddles or swing pushing etc.

Because of this, I make it an informal policy to take candid images of my mum friends and their children when we’re together (in portrait mode on the iPhone so it looks almost professional), which they all really appreciate since their partners also fail to take pictures of them. Some of my friends have started doing this in return so I have some lovely pictures of me and the children from the past year or so.

It's not just men. I have photos of the DC, some posed, some spontaneous but rarely with DH in or me. Neither of us are very good at remembering to get the phone out to do so. Doesn't mean either of us aren't invested in our relationship with each other or with the DC. I just only seem to think to try and capture something when it's them alone, not with an adult in the picture.

No, no one’s saying it means anything, I don’t think. Just that it is a shame (for me.)

You can train your eldest to do that. His/her future partner will appreciate this. I have taught mine to take photos too and while some are wonky or unfocused, he is getting pretty good now.

Well the first response was someone saying you should expect at least one photo a week or threaten divorce so they clearly made something of it it isn't!

So does a photo album.

I think that poster was joking…

Oh Christ that was irony.

sorry everyone.

my DH doesn’t post any photos of us online (he doesn’t have social media) and we are safe from the divorce courts for now.

Thank you!