Page 2 | To wish DH would take some nice photos …

hotbankhols · 2022-08-29T08:09:01+00:00

Friends Facebook, her partner has put up lots of lovely photos of the spontaneous sort. Capturing those warm sort of moments like your toddler holding your hand, looking into one another’s eyes laughing, showing your toddler something. Me - any photos I DO have of the two of us are when I’ve had to ask DH to take them. So inevitably show me grimacing and clinging onto a squirming child. Anyone else with a husband / partner like mine?

DappledThings · 29/08/2022 09:51

SavoirFlair · 29/08/2022 09:48

Thank you!

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Phew! But there is also this:
I had a “D”H like that. With hindsight it was just another piece of evidence he didn’t like me very much!
So people are putting a lot of store into how. often their partner whips put their phone.

I rarely take a photo I actually think looks that good. The more photos that look a bit wonky or blurry or just plain weird the less impetus I have to keep trying so neither of us have many photos of each other at all let alone spontaneously with the DC.

Original poster

hotbankhols · 29/08/2022 09:52

@SavoirFlair - I did get your first post was irony but it was actually quite unpleasant. I don’t know if you’re trying to be funny with ‘so does a photo album’ - if you honestly can’t see the difference between me grimacing at a camera clutching desperately onto a squirming toddler and a photo with DH looking across a lake with said toddler … we aren’t going to agree which is fine but then for gods sake say what you actually do mean.

OP posts:

TurquoiseDress · 29/08/2022 09:53

Your DH sounds like mine!

I always have to ask him to take photos, they are inevitably blurry as he's moving while taking them or doesn't press for long enough for it to focus

Most of my photos with the kids are selfies it varying poor quality, which is a shame

We have nice, clear photos of DH and the kids in candid moments

It bothers me that we don't have any similar with me in them, but I get it's not the most important thing

TorviShieldMaiden · 29/08/2022 09:54

I meant have a conversation away from the moment. Say how important it is to you. Before you go out for a day. And say today I’d like you to take some unposed photos of me and dc.

TurquoiseDress · 29/08/2022 09:55

Just to add, it's not a social media thing

It's more for having lovely photos in an album (I'm old school & love printing out favourites and putting into an actual physical album) or putting a few up on the walls or sideboard

Original poster

hotbankhols · 29/08/2022 09:58

Yes, but he just wouldn’t remember, @TorviShieldMaiden . You’d have to actually say before walking round the lake to do it which misses the point

@TurquoiseDress i think the point some are (deliberately?) missing is that whether you have them on your phone, an album, the wall, Facebook … if they don’t exist in the first place they can’t be in any of those places!

OP posts:

autienotnaughty · 29/08/2022 10:01

Same loads of lovely pics of dh and kids but if ds and I are together il say "quick take a picture " by the time he's entered his passcode, pulled up camera and focused the camera . The moment has passed. I wish he was a bit more observant.

BeanieTeen · 29/08/2022 10:16

Your friend is the exception. I think many mums find this - we take all these photos and expect the same in return. But the thing is, I think many men could take or leave all these mumarazzi pictures, or actually find it a bit annoying, they’re not that bothered and therefor not that grateful for them.
I think unless they are photographers many men just don’t think to take photos in that way - not just of kids and children, just of anything, unless it’s something funny and out of the ordinary. Camera phones are a bit wasted on them! And they don’t use Facebook in the same way I find (generalising massively here, I know) where they constantly post about their kids and what their kids are doing.
DH is more in the habit of taking all the photos now because he got a really good phone from work. It takes much better photos so he’s always on photo duty now when we’re out together.

Cherchezlaspice · 29/08/2022 10:21

hotbankhols · 29/08/2022 09:58

Yes, but he just wouldn’t remember, @TorviShieldMaiden . You’d have to actually say before walking round the lake to do it which misses the point

@TurquoiseDress i think the point some are (deliberately?) missing is that whether you have them on your phone, an album, the wall, Facebook … if they don’t exist in the first place they can’t be in any of those places!

So, you’re saying he wouldn’t remember if you went ‘I would really appreciate it if you took more spontaneous photos of me and the kids, as we don’t have any, please try to get a few at the park today.’

He'd be incapable of keeping that request in his mind for a couple of hours and acting upon it? Is there something wrong with your husband? Otherwise, that doesn’t really make any sense.

DappledThings · 29/08/2022 10:27

So, you’re saying he wouldn’t remember if you went ‘I would really appreciate it if you took more spontaneous photos of me and the kids, as we don’t have any, please try to get a few at the park today.’
I can't say I'd definitely remember that instruction. I'd try but as it doesn't really come naturally to me I would have to try hard to remember DH wanted that and I would feel a bit awkward. Telling someone to plan to be spontaneous doesn't usually go well!

GreenManalishi · 29/08/2022 10:29

No photos of me and littles by DH, bar the odd forced awkward one I had asked for. I feel your pain. Some beautiful ones littles and him. I divorced him. Not because of this, I think this was just one of the many symptoms of the rot 😅

Cherchezlaspice · 29/08/2022 10:36

DappledThings · 29/08/2022 10:27

So, you’re saying he wouldn’t remember if you went ‘I would really appreciate it if you took more spontaneous photos of me and the kids, as we don’t have any, please try to get a few at the park today.’
I can't say I'd definitely remember that instruction. I'd try but as it doesn't really come naturally to me I would have to try hard to remember DH wanted that and I would feel a bit awkward. Telling someone to plan to be spontaneous doesn't usually go well!

You feeling awkward wouldn’t really impact on your DP getting the photos, though. It might not be spontaneous for you, but they’d still get candid unposed shots with the kids without having to interrupt the moment to request them, which is what they’d asked for.

I have no idea how to address not being able to remember a straightforward request for a couple of hours.

oceanbleu · 29/08/2022 10:37

DH is like this too. I have taken loads of lovely ones of the two of them, some really nice moments. In all honesty, he is just a bit crap at taking photos. He's great otherwise so I don't get too upset about it.

dutysuite · 29/08/2022 10:37

A couple of years after my eldest was born I was flicking through all our photos and realised I was hardly in any of them! All the occasions such as his birth, baptism, birthdays etc there were photos of him with everyone else apart from me. There aren’t any photos of me pregnant with him either apart from one I’ve taken a screen grab from video footage. My husband does take photos now but they are always horrible, he takes them at the worse angle and we have different ideas about what makes a good photo, I like candid shots and he thinks every photo needs to be a close up portrait which could have been taken anywhere. My children are young teens now so I get them to take the photos as they are quite good at it. None of our photos are for social media.

sayanythingelse · 29/08/2022 10:49

Yep, I've got lots of beautiful photos of DH and DD but none of me and her apart from selfies.
DH has tried to take a few but they always end up badly framed, out of focus or someone has a collection of chins. Definitely not photos I would want to frame and put on the wall. It's a shame as I would love some photos of us together.