To wash my hands with domestos bleach spray?

[germsgoaway]

I've NC for this and I'm fully prepared to be told I am BU and that I have a problem. I know it sounds odd. I'm just wondering if anyone else has a similar issue.

I am severely phobic of germs and getting unwell (it's mostly tummy bugs that terrify me). Whenever I take my toddler DC places like soft play etc i have so much anxiety when she picks up all the things and then puts her hands near her mouth. I feel an internal panic but try to just be as normal as possible for her sake. I do insist on washing her hands before she eats anything, but she will put her hands in her mouth in between times anyway (as toddlers do). So I'm usually filled with anxiety around this when we go out places.

I have to scrub my own hands several times before I'll eat anything, no matter where we are. If there's no toilet / hand washing facilities I just won't eat.

I've just come home from a soft play and I've felt compelled to spray my hands with Domestos bleach before washing them with Carex. I washed them for a good 60 seconds with just the spray on, and then with Carex for the same length of time. I do this because I'm aware that things like norovirus can only be killed by bleach. I had to do this before I will make myself a cup of tea or anything to eat. It's the only way I feel that I am "safe" from the germs I may have picked up from the soft play by touching things.

My question is: am I strange for doing this? Is it unusual behaviour or does anyone else feel the need to go to this extent due to worry about germs and illness?

Soap and water does destroy norovirus. It is the best way to get clean and is even more effective than bleach.

Bleach is dangerous, burns skin and can trigger new allergies/cell damage.

You have a mental health problem, if you are unable to stop this on your own please seek help.

My son is exactly the same. He his having therapy with a psychotherapist to break the pattern of hand washing. The urge to excessively wash your hands is a form of hyper vigilance to try and protect yourself. My son has been diagnosed with OCD. I certainly recommend you speak to a therapist.

Nrtft

Im not going to say it’s excessive, I’m immune compromised and have been so ill for a long time. Every time we would go anywhere with other children I’d get sick it got to the point I stopped taking my dcs to soft plays and only my DH would take them. I have a bunch of other health problems too. Pre covid I would get mocked and a lot of eye rolls for using hand sanitizer and wiping shopping trolleys down with detox wipes.

I always have hand wipes to hand, in my back pocket or hand bag, in the car etc… I use them on my dcs and myself constantly when out. Yesterday at some kids attractions one of my dcs was crawling on the floor so I wiped her hands every time she stood up.

I come from a family of germ phobes, my DF would use bleach to wash his hands regularly, he was a butcher and smoker, he was paranoid about having clean hands and nicotine stains. Growing up the scent of bleach covered our house, my DBs are just like him, both tradesmen who feel the need to scrub themselves down with bleach/disinfectant/soap to wash the dirt of other peoples home off them.

Everyone has different standards when it comes to cleanliness, if it works for you then that’s fine.

Everyone has different standards when it comes to cleanliness, if it works for you then that’s fine

except it doesn’t work for OP, it’s making life difficult. @germsgoaway only by having a proper assessment can a CBT therapist decide (with your collaboration) what to treat first but it would really help you I think. On the subject of Emetaphobia you might find Professor David Veale a helpful reference point. He has done extensive work on the subject and his books are helpful: www.veale.co.uk/blog/

The way you've phrased your post and comments shows you know this is excessive

And you probably caught your dds bugs so easily as you have zero immune system built up to fight these off. Exposure to some germs is healthy!

I have been like this most of my life, severe diagnosed OCD about bodily waste germs. Started when i was 5 years old, and just got worse as i got older. No fear of becoming ill from them though, just cannot stand the thought of them on me. At my worst i scrubbed my hands with neat bleach and a nailbrush all the way up to my elbows, followed by a 2 hour shower and full change of clothes every time i used the toilet. I constantly had weeping raw patches of flesh with no skin from the chemical burns.
Getting on the right medication can do wonders, it took me 10 years and 8 different meds to finally find the one that helped me, but that wasn't helped by me believing meds don't work and huge gaps between trying each type when i hit rock bottom again and reluctantly tried the next med.
If you do happen to cause any burns/soreness from the bleach, i found savlon applied every half hour or so could really take the sting away and was by far the best healing cream, it'sn also antiseptic/antibacterial which helped my anxiety too.