To wash my hands with domestos bleach spray?

[germsgoaway]

I've NC for this and I'm fully prepared to be told I am BU and that I have a problem. I know it sounds odd. I'm just wondering if anyone else has a similar issue.

I am severely phobic of germs and getting unwell (it's mostly tummy bugs that terrify me). Whenever I take my toddler DC places like soft play etc i have so much anxiety when she picks up all the things and then puts her hands near her mouth. I feel an internal panic but try to just be as normal as possible for her sake. I do insist on washing her hands before she eats anything, but she will put her hands in her mouth in between times anyway (as toddlers do). So I'm usually filled with anxiety around this when we go out places.

I have to scrub my own hands several times before I'll eat anything, no matter where we are. If there's no toilet / hand washing facilities I just won't eat.

I've just come home from a soft play and I've felt compelled to spray my hands with Domestos bleach before washing them with Carex. I washed them for a good 60 seconds with just the spray on, and then with Carex for the same length of time. I do this because I'm aware that things like norovirus can only be killed by bleach. I had to do this before I will make myself a cup of tea or anything to eat. It's the only way I feel that I am "safe" from the germs I may have picked up from the soft play by touching things.

My question is: am I strange for doing this? Is it unusual behaviour or does anyone else feel the need to go to this extent due to worry about germs and illness?

I have OCD although it is more about checking things.

Anyway OP ; I cannot tell you not to clean with bleach: if someone told me not to take a whole hour to check everything was ok before I left the house it would and did make me panic more.

Checking made me late for work; only by minutes but still.

My solution: I have 15 minutes to check and that is my limit. This has worked for me.

spraying your hands with bleach is much worse for your health then catching a virus

Hasn’t it got dioxin in it?

Please see your GP - this is not normal and is treatable.

I totally empathise and can see where your phobia came from - no-one wants to throw up and feel so unwell that many times in less than a year!

See how you go with stopping the beach spray (I've done the same at times) and if you cannot or are still feeling really anxious about Norovirus then you could see whether you can self refer to an IAPT for CBT in your local area OR see your GP for a referral.

Definitely OCD with combined emetephobia and you have my sympathies OP as I have the same, and it's hugely debilitating.

I take SSRI (antidepressant) and wash my hands regularly. Thankfully I'm not overly militant about it, but do insist that my DS (6) washes his hands regularly. Because of covid this has been easy to implement. The nursery days were horrendous for me in terms of exposure to vomiting bugs, but during that time he only had one. Now he's at school I'm a little less concerned but when they sweep through I feel my anxiety building and I also dread the day it happens again as my phobia is very severe.

My son genuinely has no idea I have this, whenever he has been sick through bugs or from other illnesses I seem to leap into action and can cope initially, but it's the after effects (that are entirely internalised) that haunt me. I'm not overly strict about hand washing unless we've been out and about and it's very minimised so I make it just sound as if it's a regular thing, which covid sort of supports.

At the moment. But if you don't get to grips with this phobia, there's a real risk it will extend and expand into ways that could harm your child (and you).

I think you know it's taking over; and recognise that you need to get some professional help. You've made a good start on change, by opening up here.

Get yourself an excercise book and whenever you feel the compulsion to wash, scrub etc, instead of doing it, sit down and write out your thoughts and feelings . It's just for you, so no holds barred.

Please call the doctor op you have ocd. Children imitate the adults in their lives - unfort I only realised I had ocd after my children picked it up. It’s very normal for ocd to show itself when people are new parents because we are suddenly responsible for our precious babies. Please seek help as ocd gets worse and then you have to work harder to get back on track. Take care of yourself.

Also just in case it helps you can buy Domperidone, which is an anti-emetic from UKmeds to help you feel less sick or even prevent you being sick if you do catch another bug (or buccastem from Boots online).

Also anti-viral sanitizer would be a much better option than bleach but obviously is still a compulsion.

The behaviours do sound rather OCD.

But aside from that, Domestos surface bleach spray is not recommended for your hands. Whilst antibacterial hand gels on their own are not effective, hand washing with soap and water is effective - and this is the recommendation from NHS guidance.

There are bleach-based solutions for hand washing, but they're made to specific weak concentrations (bleach is effective at far weaker mixes than most people think) and without the surface cleaning additives that are put into household sprays. Stop using the surface spray on skin.

Stick with the bleach spray for surfaces, and soap and water for skin.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) would help with this. Your GP can refer you.

Alternatively 'Wet Ones' or Clinell hand wipes are also better options than bleach spray and contain benzalkoniun chloride to denature norovirus. Ultimately though a CBT therapist would get you to drop any compulsions like using bleach, washing hand excessively, avoiding door handles.

@germsgoaway I was under the impression that soap and water can't kill norovirus, and that only bleach does? Is this not correct?

No that's not true, your hands are not a kitchen worktop! You wash your hands in the sink or under running water, soap is very effective on skin. It is slightly acidic, it dissolves grease and oils, and is slippery. Those 3 qualities means it does 2 things to clean your hands; it removes dirt & germs and it also kills them.
It doesn't have to kill all of the germs on contact. You don't have to be sterile. You have a working immune system that can take care of a small load of virus or bacteria.
Hopefully you are starting to realise you have OCD and will get treatment; until then the responsible thing to do is to start to manage how your OCD manifests. One thing I recommend you do is learn about household chemicals. Some of them are unsafe to mix, or to use on your skin. Another is to remind yourself that your body is a self healing organism. Even if you get sick its not the end of the world. You would get through a bout of sickness and recover.

Sounds like OCD. My son has OCD and yours is very similar to how his manifests itself. I'd recommend counselling if you can, or buy Break Free from OCD (book).

This is straight up OCD. You need to go to the gp and get professional help as soon as you can op dont be fobbed off unless tou can afford private cbt therapy.

I am a lifelong sufferer of ocd and its not a walk in the park. It starts off like this and gets worse, much worse. At my sickest i would shower 4 times a day, change my contaminated clothes up to five times a day, wash my hands every five minutes and air dry them as towels were all contaminated in my eyes so my hands would be constantly bleeding everywhere. I washed them in flash spray as well. I would then believe my food was contaminated and have to be specific on what i could and couldn't eat and frequently convinced myself i hadnt checked properly before eating which would result in me vommiting my food back up several times a day. OCD is a spiral you need to get on top of.

I had OCD as a teenager and it was very like what you are describing. It took over my life in ways I can barely believe when I look back now. It was shocking how the hand washing and constant awareness of possible germs became 'normal' and yet it was extremely debilitating. My hands and wrists were like raw meat. You need to contact your GP and ask for a referral to mental health services. My mum did this for me and it helped enormously. As an aside, it's one of my personal bugbears that OCD has become synonymous with someone liking their books in alphabetical order or preferring a clean house. It really is evidence of much deeper anxieties.

Good luck OP

@Thelnebriati

That's a really helpful explanation of how soap and water is effective. Thank you.

@Rosesandstars

I have bought some Clinnell wipes actually- good to know they are also effective on norovirus.

OP your emetophobia will be what is fuelling the OCD about cleanliness. I used to be the same until I did the Thrive programme - honestly, it's live changing. It's a form of CBT but better and is the only programme out there with a 100% success rate. Google 'thrive programme emetophobia' and get cracking.

I used to not be able to eat in restaurants, eat while out, etc for fear of being sick due to poor hygiene practices. It really restricted my life. I do still think about it but because I know I can cope now and I can control my thoughts I can circumvent quickly and nip any emetophobic/OCD style thoughts in the bud to allow me to get on with my day.

You can change this - you will need to invest time and a bit of money though. You can of course go through your NHS GP for NHS CBT but I fear the wait will be very long. The Thrive programme is about £50 to get started so not a fortune. As others have said, you need to do something now before your daughter starts to learn these behaviours from you.

If you want to be excessive but not in a dangerous way to your health/wellbeing you can get the soap surgeons use in hospitals 🤷🏻‍♀️ think it's called HibiScrub and smells very nice

Do not use bleach on your skin!!

Strange, excessive and bad for your skin.
You need to seek help.

It's possible your DD is susceptible to infections at nursery because she hasn't had sufficient exposure to normal germs. As PP have said, exposure to germs is necessary to build a healthy immune system.

I hope you can get get help for your OCD.

@EnidSpyton

Thank you, I will look it up.

Microbiologist here.

Almost all viruses are killed with soap. They’re rather pathetic when they’re outside the body.

I certainly wouldn’t recommend using bleach on your hands. Firstly because there’s zero need for it, and secondly because it’s going to burn your skin.

You need medical help.