To tell you that I finally did it..

[tryingtobestrong2]

Ive left. I've left my violent, angry, toxic ex.

I posted earlier on in the week about my ex partner and domestic violence. I left him about a week ago and he's been hounding me ever since.

Today it came to a head with him sending me a video of him overdosing (which turns out he didn't even swallow) before telling me I had killed him. He was sending slurred voice notes etc leading me to believe he was dying. It was traumatic. He was taken to hospital and the police came round and i finally told them everything.

He's out of hospital now, parked outside my house, and he's blocked on all forms of contact. I feel totally, utterly heartbroken. How can someone you loved and cared for and tried to help do this? I feel scared, I feel alone, I feel so sad, but the worst part is I'm worried about him.

But I've done it, I've left. How does this get any easier?

Block his mother- why is she telling you that he is in his car and at rock bottom? Because she wants you to take him back- she hasn't taken him in has she?
Just think on what he has done to you, making you think he had overdosed, breaking in, threatening to kill you. Next time he might. What you are seeing is the real him not the loving act he put on.
Please think about the freedom prgramme and get help from Rights of Women or Woman's Aid.

Please try to be strong. I cannot possibly know what you have gone through, or are going through, but you deserve so much better. You have been so brave to get to where you are now, please believe in your strength to get through the next phase. Sending you masses of love.

You have done all the right things (and you're amazing), but you're still grieving the end of a relationship and that's OK.

Stay strong and don't let him back.

In the meantime though, its OK to be heartbroken.

God, its awful, the heartbreak of ending things with someone you love. And it physically hurts. You feel like you'll never be ok again. Everything in your body wants them back, tells you it'll be OK, that this will have changed things...

Your heartbreak is what he's counting on. Because it's lies. Things won't be ok if you take him back and the fairytale you dream of, which is born out of love, is just that - a fairytale.

It's a cliche, but time will help. All you need to do now is ride it out. Just hold on, even if only by a fingernail. It hurts like hell but this pain and longing you feel is part of the process and it's what keeps many women trapped in abusive and dangerous situations. You WILL come out the other side. And you WILL be happier and stronger for it. I promise.

Remember, we know what its like to suffer the heartbreak you feel and we have gone on to thrive. You will too.

Every time a good memory if him comes to mind, replace it with a horrible memory of him.

Write down all the awful things he has done and read the list when you feel sad.

Hitler loved his dog, but he still poisoned it to test the poison........

Keep going to police. This kind of stalking can be dangerous, I don't think he should be allowed to park outside of your house. That needs to change, still not doing enough for victims.

apommerenk.medium.com/the-first-50-days-away-from-the-narcissistic-ex-partner-ead6c246c94 don't know if you'll find it useful, but it helped my friend.

Do not take you back. He threatened to kill you. No person who loves and tickles your back the. Threatens to take your life.

Sorry so many typos!

Do not take him back. He threatened to kill you. No person who loves and tickles your back then threatens to take your life.

Hey guys, I'm hoping some of you are still about on this thread. You supported me so much through such a hard time. After weeks of staying home and "healing", I went out last night in my local town and was in the same pub as my ex. He was with another girl. It has shattered me. EVEN though he treated me like shit, lied to me, abused me, seeing him sat there with a stunning little blonde girl and not even acknowledge me has taken the wind right out of my sails. I feel totally broken and the pain is so much worse today than it has been :(

Ime it's because you now know it is really over and you have forgotten how to be you - you an be whoever you truly wish to be now.
You can do this op.

Stay strong OP , You've come this far so don't look back. You're free now and this jerk is someone else's problem.
Keep moving forward and give yourself the big pat on the back you deserve 🥰😍

No matter how hard it is, do not go back to him. If you do, this will get worse and next time you may bit ve able to escape because you're trapped or worse. You deserve so much more. Can you get away? Stay with someone? Move so he doesn't know your address? Delete everyone I'm his friendship circle so that he doesn't know where you are and seek help x

I would link in with womens aid if you haven't already, they can support you with some home security mechanisms. I'd also invest in a camera around your front door or access points. I'd go to a solicitor with evidence of him outside your home, keep a diary and record everything- all interactions and every time you see him and ask for a non molestation order and restraining order. That will give police powers if he comes to your home or other places you go to regularly like a workplace. But mainly get some support for yourself because you're right; what you've been through is traumatic and you shouldn't have had to deal with any of that. You'll get to meet other women who've had similar experiences which will help you build a new support network of people who understand. Womens aid will also risk assess you and see if there are any other community resources that need to be linked in to support you and help you feel safe for example they may be able to get your address red flagged with police so they come faster if you phone for help. Well done OP you've done a really hard thing in leaving and I'm glad you've blocked him on everything. Don't be surprised if he begins a new jekyll and Hyde personality of first trying to win you back and then trying to punish you for leaving. Start focusing on your new life and putting and much joy into it as you can! I wish you every happiness going forwards you so deserve it

You are stronger than you think. I’m sorry you loved a man that didn’t deserve your love. I’ve felt the heartbreak.

Ive always found the Suzy Lamplugh charity to be wonderfully supportive when dealing with stalking. I’d say your ex behaviour is stalking.

www.suzylamplugh.org/

Thanks all. Im in the process of getting help with a charity called First Light. I just wish it hadn't affected me so much seeing him with someone else last night

You need to pity this other girl. She’s unfortunately likely to end up in the same place as you at some point.

Youve been incredible so far - no going back xx