Lying in on days off.

[Bestcatmum]

I was brought up to get up when I wake up and sieze the day. I work long hours full time in the NHS so like to make the most of my days off not sleep them away.
Is it normal for people in their 40s to stay awake all night playing video games and not get up until 3 or 4 in the afternoon. No kids, admin jobs.
Normally none of my business but I've been asked to collaborate in a project with these people and I've lost count of the times I've sat in my car waiting while they get up. Get washed and dressed and have breakfast and then they look half dead for the rest of the afternoon. No mental illness, no disability they just like to sleep during the day
I decided to pull out of the project because I'm fed up of wasting my time hanging about for the. And now my name is mud. AIBU?

Well said @SmallPrawnEnergy 👏

I'd simply tell them if they can't get up and meet you half way your not helping, as you're not being paid to sit around waiting.

I'm the same op, I naturally wake up at 6am and get up. But I do like video games but I don't sit up till stupid o'clock in the morning playing them.

I'm a bit confused ..

On days off people can do what they like. I like a lie in on days off - not til 3 or 4, more like til 8 or 9. But what people do on their day off is up to them.

As for the project, I think that's a different thing. Can you explain what the issue is? If you or they are working on a project, surely it's not a day off? Or is it something you are all doing in your spare time? 🤔🤷

Oh I couldn't put up with waiting on people like that. They agreed to meet at midday. They should be up and ready at midday. It's as if their time is more precious than OPs. They're selfish.

I would have pulled out of the project too.

😂 Totally agree.

I’m still in bed this morning but when I get up, I have people who will want to spend time with me because I have never called anyone a ‘mannerless troglodyte’. I also don’t understand the relevance of this insult? What has anyone said which would suggest that they are cave dwellers? Or is this just a new word you’ve learnt…

This is confusing
So you work for nhs
You have been asked to work unpaid on a project over weekends to help other colleagues out? Or what people?

Anyway you have made appontments to help with them arriving at their house st midday as requested but they are not up and stay in bed / getting dressed until 3-4pm rocketing you too sit in your car outside their house waiting?

That is strange and ofc I wouldn't do it

You go round as arranged knock on the door and if they are not ready within 5 mins, you leave. End of that. We can reschedule but my time is precious. Fail to keep appointment with me (ie not be ready) a second time and i withdraw from the project

On basis is that you've failed to keep appointment twice in a row which is a waste of my time. That's what I'd tell people at work.

Regardless, it has nothing to do with who bounces out of bed at 8am and who gets up later in the day. An appointment is an appointment.

Unless you are doing a project interviewing patients with MH problems, then that might be a reason someone heavily depressed has difficulty getting up.

What's the first?

" Form a sentence where the words "mannerless" and "troglodyte" can be used as an insult in modern day Britain. Extra marks if you can prove it's use".

They're a waste of time. So don't waste your time on them.

Patagonian Pgymy Pigeon.

The sleep is a red herring here really.

You've been asked to come round at 12 and they're not ready for several hours. That's completely unreasonable of them and it doesn't matter whether that's because they're asleep, out doing something else entirely, shagging, gardening or any other thing. This wouldn't be a better situation if they'd been up since 7am but still thought it was ok to keep you waiting all afternoon.

Seizing the day = getting up to be miserable and have a rant about other people doing as they please on their days off. Who knew.
But each to their own, you seize the day as you please.

I agree with previous posters that it is up to them what they do with spare time. I probably wouldn't start or join a project with someone who prioritises gaming all night and sleeping all day. Now you know it's not going to work, can you involve yourself in a different project or get others onboard?

I'm confused. They arranged to meet at midday and were still in bed when you arrived? That's rude of course, are you sure they agreed to 12pm? I don't know why you're saying they stayed in bed until 3 though, if they were then rushing to get ready at 12. That means they got up at 12.

"I arranged to meet people at 12pm to work for free on something, but on multiple occasions they were still in bed." OP = YANBU

"Everyone who has a lie-in is sleeping until 4pm and a mannerless troglodyte." OP = YABU

"I agreed to do a project for free, but the rest of the team annoyed me so I dropped out." OP needs to give more information about the structure of the project commitment and impact of them dropping out to be able to judge if it's reasonable or not. You say they needed to meet you halfway on timing; not really if you can just drop out and they are all happier to do it together at the later time, again it goes back to the structure of the project commitment as to why you think they should work round your time preference.

There's a difference between having a lie in or needing to sleep/rest during the day when not working and failing to be ready on time for commitments. You're muddling the two up.

I always lie in. Apart from being something I find pleasure in, I have a long term illness that causes fatigue so I need a lot of rest and don't often find sleep refreshing. I'm still ready and on time for my commitments, even if they're scheduled for early morning.

Finally - 'seizing the day' means different things to different people.

I don't get up before 10 on Sundays
Sometimes 1
My partner and I enjoy breakfast in bed, chatting, reading the news etc.
I'm in my 40s
Do I fit your lazy fucker narrative?

You are sounding a bit League of Young Nazi Maidens here OP. Getting up and seizing the day isn’t any more inherently virtuous than being a night owl.

If you were waiting in your car because they were late for an agreed time, then it’s reasonable to be pissed off

But if you flounced off the project without trying to find a solution, then YABU.

I suspect you did do that? If so I’d figure out a way to get back into everyone’s good books. Being a smug judgy pants doesn’t tend to move you forward in life.

Accidentally voted YANBU

YABU sorry. There's nothing inherently better about getting up early. They can spend their days off how they like. No one is judging you for sleeping when they're up all night.

@georgarina you just just change your vote by clicking on YABU

There is nothing wrong with a lazy weekend morning. Even when I wake up I like to lie in bed scrolling mumsnet and social media with a coffee. I'm doing that right now actually.
Not meeting people when you have made a commitment is shitty tho and that's what you should be pissed off about, it's not about judging peoples lifestyles.

Expecting people to be on time, regardless of the event/meeting/project is perfectly reasonable and just good manners. How they spend their time when they are not meeting you, their choice however misguided in my and your view.

People are praised for going to bed early and getting lots of sleep but god forbid someone would rather get EXACTLY THE SAME amount of sleep but in the morning instead of the evening and they’re judged and seen as a layabout.

Disappointed I missed the op's now deleted post

It’s because you’ll likely be doing nothing useful/worthwhile in the evening/over night.
lying in til 3pm is very lazy,

just stop doing the project with them OP.

It’s because you’ll likely be doing nothing useful/worthwhile in the evening/over night

And you know this, how?

Completely wrong btw. Not everyone shares the same chronotype and many people have a naturally later circadian rhythm. This means they are more alert and productive later on.

So, in actuality, they are likely to be busy being productive and effective while you're snoozing away with a sanctimonious mindset.

Plenty of scientific studies to support this, you might like to look them up tomorrow morning.