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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to continue with my holiday?

67 replies

Rozes64 · 26/08/2022 19:34

I booked, ages ago, to go on a weeks cruise with a friend, who this week has fallen and badly broken her wrist.

She has said she still wants to come, but the medics are advising against it as they need to operate, after which she'll have her arm in a sling as well as a cast, to stop her hand moving.

Unfortunately her travel insurer have said she's not covered , so she's asked if I'd agree to move our booking to another date. The booking is in my name, it had to be one or the other.

I'm just selling my house right now, and was looking forward to a break before the actual move takes place. I've also booked and paid for parking, plus a deposit to kennel my dogs.

Its really not the right time for me to change it, her insurer has very damning reviews on Trustpilot, but in all honesty I don't see a good reason for me to lose money to compensate for her dilemma. I am really full on right now hosting house viewings, having spent three weeks decluttering the house. So either she comes against medical advice, and runs the risk of becoming more unwell, or doesn't come and loses her money, or I change the date and lose monies already committed to parking etc?

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 26/08/2022 19:56

I don't see why it'd be impossible for you to go away if you're moving in the same country

Karatema · 26/08/2022 19:58

Rozes64 · 26/08/2022 19:45

My insurance would only cover claims relating to me not her, i might try to go with the suggestion of finding a replacement so they can reimburse her.

Any decent insurer would cover you because the person you are going with has a medical problem. Why won't her insurer pay her claim? Did she not declare osteoporosis?

MiniCooperLover · 26/08/2022 19:59

You haven't even sold yet OP, that could take months? You are making it sound a little like you're due to move next month. Why isn't she covered under her insurance or did she not link it to your trip? Is she not named as a traveller under your booking?

RunningFromInsanity · 26/08/2022 20:00

ShadowoftheFall · 26/08/2022 19:54

It’s not your fault. I think you should go. It’s unreasonable for her to hold it against you.

So you’d be ok with losing the cost of a holiday because your friend doesn’t want to move dates?

RunningFromInsanity · 26/08/2022 20:00

Why don’t you move dates and she covers the parking and kennel costs?

Hakeandling · 26/08/2022 20:01

Hold on-I didn’t realise she would lose her money if you didn’t move the dates.
That doesn’t seem right.

Whowaswrongg · 26/08/2022 20:03

You seem to be blaming her for this. It’s not her fault either.

You clearly don’t want to move it so just go, but be prepared to lose her as a friend

kegofcoffee · 26/08/2022 20:10

Just so I'm understanding right... you want your friend to loose the whole cost of the holiday, so that you don't loose parking costs and the kennels deposit?

The maximum that would be even semi reasonable is to ask for some money towards the additional costs you'd incur from rescheduling.

WaltzingWaters · 26/08/2022 20:10

I’d ask her to cover the costs you’ve spent if you can’t get them back and move the holiday. I’m sure she’d prefer to pay those extra costs than lose probably a lot more than that for her whole trip.

HeddaGarbled · 26/08/2022 20:21

Depends on whether you care more about your friend or going on holiday on your own, because you’ll be doing a lot of holidaying on your own in future if that’s how you treat your friends.

2bazookas · 26/08/2022 20:22

My travel insurance covers "cancellation due to illness/accident etc preventing travel". That is a standard clause.

Here insurer is right, travelling with that injury would be high risk and negate her medical cover on a cruise, so she can't go; but (via her policy ) she should still be able to claim a refund of her holiday cost.
You can still go on he cruise without her and I would.

fluffi · 26/08/2022 20:24

I would move the dates it if my friend agreed to fully compenstate me for the full costs of parking, kennel deposits/fees, plus an extra costs me by moving the date (e.g. extra petrol if moving across the country) so that I didn't lose out financially at all by moving the date.

BouncerFish · 26/08/2022 20:27

Your OP kind of reads like you are definitely going to go now and not contemplate moving the dates but you are just seeking support for your choice. Is that right?

amicissimma · 26/08/2022 20:29

If she won't be insured if she travels with the injury, her insurer should pay for her cancelled cruise. You go. Her share will be paid and you won't have to pay more, so neither of you loses.

If you cancel you will have to try to persuade the cruise line to change, which prior to Covid they wouldn't for free, or you will have to try to claim on her insurance or yours. As you can go, I don't really see why your insurance would pay.

Bollindger · 26/08/2022 20:31

Have you checked your insurance as you paid?

NettleTea · 26/08/2022 20:40

is the insurance not paying because its all booked in your name?

chopc · 26/08/2022 20:42

Don't understand the point of insurance if she has been told she is not fit for travel. That's the whole point of insurance. I smell something fishy.

I would put it to her you have already made plans and it's difficult for you to change the dates. However if you cannot find someone to take her place it would be spiteful and not friend like to allow her to lose her money and no holiday ..... I wouldn't think much of you as a friend if you did that. But seems like you don't really value her friendship anyway

Original poster
Rozes64 · 26/08/2022 21:09

I know-she called me just now and has been to see the broker today who agreed she was misinformed. They are taking it up for her thank goodness-I will have to go on my own as her consultant has advised her in no uncertain terms that she should not go, I don't want another holiday now until I am settled in my new home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rozes64 · 26/08/2022 21:10

not at all. Its pretty impossible for me to book another date right now which I've set out Very clearly.

OP posts:
Puzzledandpissedoff · 26/08/2022 21:19

she called me just now and has been to see the broker today who agreed she was misinformed. They are taking it up for her thank goodness

How could she possibly have been "misinformed" about what's straightforward wording in any travel insurance policy, especially when this appears the sort of unforeseen accident they're designed to cover?

Are you quite sure she was ever insured at all, or could she have neglected to do it and now doesn't want to tell you?

Whowaswrongg · 26/08/2022 21:24

@Rozes64 “, I don't want another holiday now until I am settled in my new home”

I think that’s the crux of it - you don’t want to rearrange and would rather she lost money.

Separately - who on earth has a broker for travel insurance?!

NewYorkLassie · 26/08/2022 21:32

Separately - who on earth has a broker for travel insurance?!

People with pre-existing conditions or over 75 usually.

typeb · 26/08/2022 21:38

Is she actually a friend or someone who it was convenient to go on holiday with (reduced a single supplement or similar).

It's just that you don't sound as though you give a shiny shit about her, her broken wrist, her not being able to go on holiday or anything.

I mean if you were just using her to get a cheap holiday then crack on and holiday without her and expect to lose the friendship.

If she's your friend then have a word with yourself. You're full of how none of this fits with your plans, do you think a broken wrist is convenient for her?

Harridan1981 · 26/08/2022 21:44

You would genuinely rather have seen her lose the entire cost to save yourself the cost of kennels and parking? And wouldn’t move it because you won’t want to holiday once you’ve moved? I’m guessing your friendship doesn’t mean that much to you.

Isthisit22 · 26/08/2022 21:46

You sound a bit strange. You want to go on your own on a cruise rather than rearrange to save your friend lots of money and go on a nice holiday together?
Okay, but your relationship with your friend will prob never recover.
It would have been so much kinder to rearrange and book another break for yourself now.