Who pays childcare?

[Beyondbaffled]

Separated from ex DH and will be divorced soon, hopefully. 2 DC in full time wrap around childcare (5 days per week). He has the children two nights per week and every other weekend, pays maintenance accordingly.

We both work full time.

I currently pay all childcare costs.

I am of the opinion he should pay 2 days childcare or source an alternative on the days he is responsible for the children.

AIBU?

He should, but good luck with that.

Yes, he should pay for his 2 days. Could you ask the nursery to bill him directly?

He should pay for the childcare he needs to use when he has them.

YANBU

But what he should do and what he will do might vary so good luck!

Yes he should pay for his two days each week.

Legally he only has to pay Cm

I thought you paid on the days you had them (which is of course unfair to a paren that has them on more working days).

Are you sure? Surely he pays expenses on his days - food, clothing etc. Hence the reduction in CM for days he had them.

He only has them 2 nights? So the day is your responsibility? Your responsibility to pay childcare he only has to pay maintenance and that covers everything. I know it doesn't though. Systems a joke.

If the CM is reduced to reflect the days when the children are with him, then of course he should cover their costs on those days.

Yeah he'll say his responsibility is 4pm-8am or whatever

I don’t want him to pay me for it, more sort his own contract with the nursery. Or if he had family willing to step in (which is unlikely but not impossible) I’d have no issue with that either.

I’m just fed up to the back teeth of him acting like king ding because he pays the minimum legal requirement. In hindsight I was much, much too accommodating when we separated in the interest of maintaining a good relationship for the children.

Yes of course his CM is reduced to reflect the time he has them.

Exactly what I thought. Takes the biscuit doesn't it.

If that's even possible to argue, he would then need to pay maintenance to the OP to cover the daytime.

He has them on two consecutive days each week, so don’t think he can argue that his responsibility is 4pm -8am but that’s an interesting perspective.

He has to provide the childcare if it is needed on his days. He may decide none is needed as he will instead reduce his hours and work part time (HAHA like that will happen) to spend time with them.

Honestly, OP, this is something I was never able to resolve. I paid full wraparound care for 3 children because my work is inflexible (teacher) and he regularly went on holiday with no notice whatsoever. No sense of responsibility, as far as he was concerned I was there to pick up his slack. So for years he used after school club on the day he had the children and breakfast club the following morning and paid not a penny. And I didn’t get any maintenance either. You will struggle to enforce it. If he needs the childcare and losing the childcare isn’t a problem for you, write to him and state you are giving the nursery their notice and he will need to re-contract with them immediately if he needs the place. But if you need the place - even if only a couple of times a year whilst he’s on holiday, you don’t really have much wiggle room. Try appealing to his better nature but don’t hold your breath.

@Anothernamechangeplease maintenance only takes into account the amount of overnights doesn't it?

If he has two consecutive days simply cancel your contract for those days with the nursery......let him know he needs to source childcare asap....
Fyi my ex is taking me to court to reduce his two consecutive days to overnights only! Teatime till breakfast contact only so no childcare cost for them FFS!!!!! Two days in a row, praying the judge laughs the case out!

I could theoretically give nursery notice that I’m cancelling those two days. In turn he will obviously stop paying child maintenance as that is currently a private arrangement. Eventually it would be reinstated if I went via CMS (is that even the correct name anymore?) but it would still make things more difficult financially in the short term. Does anyone know how long that process takes?

@krazykatzlady that is horrendous. The lengths some people will go to to avoid providing for their children!! I hope it works out for you.

Surely the savings in nursery costs would help while you're waiting for CMS to do their thing? It does sound like that is the way forward. Would your nursery be prepared to give the two days to him if you gave notice or do they have a waiting list? Not that it would be your problem.

CMS is fairly quick.
Apply, let him know and stop paying for his childcare.
(I get no CMS so ex can pull his crap.....if your ex claims UC to top up his wages be aware he may only pay you £7 or £0 per week 🙄 even if working!!)

Well that's not true is it. If he needs childcare on his days then he pays for it.

Personally I would make it official via the CMS. I would only advise otherwise if he is self employed. I would suffer short term if I could.