To be fed up with male tradesmen making funny jokes that are anything but

[Allerlugi]

Carpet fitter came. He starts unrolling the carpet and then gets really serious, asked me if I’d measured it (yes), then proceeds to say it’s not going to fit, it’s too small and the measurements aren’t right. Meanwhile I’m feeling sick about having to fork out for another carpet.

Oh, but he’s joking! He was just having a laugh! The carpet’s fine, lol.

Delivery guys come to collect a mattress that we’re returning. It says on the website that they will bring wrapping materials and pack it up. They arrive and start to say they can’t collect it as it’s not wrapped up. I tell them what it says on the website. Nope sorry, the website’s wrong and I should have wrapped it up. Meanwhile I’m starting to get stressed and wondering how long this will have to take to resolve with the company.

Oh, but they were only joking! Haha isn’t it funny!

Believe it or not I had a third example from the past fortnight but I must have blocked it out.

I’d bet you a tenner that these guys don’t do it with men.

Yes this.

It’s very weird you’ve had a run of this though.

There's an irritating character in Chuggington who does this! The Chuggineers send the lovely Brewster to get something and the irritating character says 'ah no we're fresh out of those' causing Brewster to panic (new to his job, wanting to impress). I thought that was quite astute.

It happens to men too! Happened to my DP at a restaurant - waiter asked us what we wanted and said his had sold out. As he was stressing to find something else, guy said haha, only kidding... Has probs happened to me too but I don't pay any attention to them. Can be annoying for sure and they're really not as funny as they think.

Oh DH does this all the time when he does the shopping - ‘oh they didn’t have x y and z that you asked for’ brief moment of disappointment ‘only joking!’
I don’t fall for it anymore, but he still tries and thinks it’s a great joke.
Men are just weird. And they do it to each other too. It’s not a sexist thing, I don’t think there’s any malice either, it’s just pants man humour.

I hate this and I agree it's a power play. It happened to me once when we ordered a new sofa to match an existing suite. I couldn't remember which shade of legs we had so guessed knowing they might not quite match. Obviously the delivery guys didn't know this but when they rocked up one "joked" that the feet they'd bought didn't match the other sofas. I explained I didn't care as who looks that closely at sofa feet. Turns out he was joking and he was clearly pissed off that I'd not gone into panic mode over the shade of brown of my fucking sofa feet. Made me realise what a nasty piece of work he was, he found it funny to upset a female customer and was unhappy that he hasn't had the satisfaction of seeing my upset. Fucking sick

They sound utterly moronic.

But you could try to mitigate your fearful reactions (as that's what they are after). Try to be more casual as though what they're saying, even if true, is not bothering you and is something that you can fix. Do you perhaps look young/innocent? I am a fat menopause and nobody tries this shit with me anymore. I was on the receiving end of such stupidity when I was younger though.

When they say "it's a joke," I do a flat, "oh, right" like a parent half-listening to a made-up story. Kills the atmosphere dead, you don't have to do the fake laugh, they feel like muppets. I don't like it either.

Car mechanic joked that my car failed its MOT on many points. I wanted to cry - resilience was low as I was mid divorce, which he knew.
I got angry with him and he apologised.

I had this too when I had a new white kitchen worktop delivered. The delivery man said "I'll just get your worktop off the van, it's black isn't?"

I replied "yeah, that's right, it won't show the dirt".
He didn't know what to say.......

It's just not funny....... just pathetic.
As a child shopping for my mother, I can remember asking for things in shops and the shop keeper (always a man, saying no to me). So unnecessary and upsetting to a child.

I don't mind a bit of a joke. But I did mind when some builders told a friend of mine that apparently "I was gagging for it" followed by some specific suggestions that are too graphic to repeat. Then sent a nude photo of his genitals to her (long story) so that "I could see what I was missing".

Just because I'd chatted politely when I'd made them a cup of tea. I'm not easily shocked but that was pretty horrific.

(I've also been married for ages so not sure where the whole desperate thing started)

Sounds like the builder equivalent of Jay from the Inbetweeners. Except depressingly real life.

I think this “joke” business is a control thing, or “power play” as PPs have said. It’s to have the upper hand because they’re not very evolved as people. I must admit I just go along with this kind of thing “oh.. HAHA you gave me a fright there!”. Maybe I am a wimp but I just don’t really care and just want them to do a good job and not cut corners.

Aaaaah! This is when hAving a resting bitch face is an asset - never happens to me though I used to regularly get 'cheer up hen' when younger

I had no idea when I started the thread just how many other women would have experienced this. It’s really not funny, is it?

I like the idea of just being deadpan and going along with it. Will have to remember that one.

I used to work with a large maintenance team that consisted of electricians and plumbers and the like and I got these kinds of jokes constantly. It was so exhausting. The guys were absolutely lovely but it was almost as if they couldn't help the banter. As I got to know them I either told them to piss off or I joked back, and gradually things kind of settled to a normal level of office banter.

They did do it to everyone, men and women, and they loved to take the mick out of our (male) boss, so it didn't seem like sexism. Was fucking annoying though.

Fgs it's banter, go with it and make some back.

Life's better when it's not serious all the time.

Fgs it's banter, go with it and make some back.

I like a bit of banter (I was once invited to my builders' staff and subcontractors' Christmas party) but not being told I'm giving off a vibe of sexual frustration.

It's really put me off making jokey conversation.

I used to work in a prison and to get into out office we had to buzz security on the intercom and ask them to lock and unlock it.
The amount of times they'd respond with "ooh do I have to?" or "how do I know you're not a prisoner?" (It was a male prison...) and one time in December I got a rendition of Jingle Bells 🙄 it was beyond tedious. They also couldn't see me over the intercom so I had to exaggerate my awkward fake laugh every time.
Just do your job and stop trying to be funny!

I’m so over stupid infantile attention seeking “jokes” from men. Luckily now I’m menopausal and therefore no longer fuckable, I’ve found they’ve reduced considerably!

I just don't find this sort of thing funny at all.
I think mostly, the person doesn't mean any harm, but it's just not funny.
My face gives away my true feelings so its pretty obvious that I'm not impressed and so people tend to soon shut up and just be professional.
I'm happy for a bit of fun conversation but I don't think the sort of jokes that could upset someone or cause stress are funny at all.

You need to learn to banter back
It makes life less serious.

I think it's a skill some ppl don't have so they complain.

Banter puts you at ease with people.

I had six items on the conveyor belt at the checkout. Went to put the bar divider in place for the man after me in the queue who had two items. He put the divider back and said "You can pay for my stuff love."

I wasn't in a tolerant mood anyway that day so said "Fine, I'll pay for yours, you can pay for mine." Quickly swapped the shopping over and stood behind him.

The guy blustered a bit about it being a joke until I asked him if he would have said the same to a man. As the woman on the checkout said quietly, bloody men, they think they are hilarious.

Just smile back and say OK you can.pay for mine next time then. Instead of getting all huffy and serious. Banter is a skill some ppl obvs haven't learnt. You just show yourself up if your rude and huffy.