In laws, Covid and pregnancy

[oneOff12]

I’m having a lot of mixed feelings here and would like some outsider opinions please.

Im currently 18 weeks pregnant with an existing 1 year old dd. We have come to visit the in laws abroad at their home, and on arrival at the airport we are collected only by the MIL as FIL is in bed with a cough, temperature and positive Covid test.

His positive Covid test was last night and he had two negative ones afterwards. I’m honestly slightly horrified that they didn’t tell us before arriving especially considering my pregnancy, dds age and dh being asthmatic. I am very sure they were worried that we wouldn’t come if they’d told us as they are obsessed with dd (first and only grandchild). We have previously fallen out about this obsession but since made up. (Though I have to try and ignore when MIL calls herself mummy to dd - not intentional but subconscious I think).

AIBU to be outraged that they’ve put our health at risk so that they could see dd? Or because he had two negative tests does that counteract it? MIL has also been coughing. I’m actually in shock and so stressed and have no idea how to put on a pleasant face tomorrow.

YANBU

I'd not be staying in the same home and be not seeing them either

Covid is so dangerous for pregnant women

YANBU.

I'd be really annoyed and would be staying away from both of them. I umderstand they love your DD and want to spend time with you all but it's not worth the risk. That's my two penny's worth anyway!

Imo they are disgusting for not letting you decide if it was safe for your family. Can you book to stay elsewhere? Or go home?. And send them the bill for the hotel or holiday costs.

I would be furious. How dare they expose you all to that risk. I would not be very forgiving.

Yet you’re still staying with them?

Your MIL sounds like mine. Totally obsessed with DD🤦‍♀️ I would be the same as you, angry. And I'd be staying in a hotel!

My MIL was wanting to go in to her daughters house when she had Covid and I was 8 months pregnant and in the car waiting. I was so annoyed and told her. Thankfully she didn't.

What an idiot she was for even thinking it!

I'd just go straight back home.

I had covid for the 2nd time at 14 weeks pregnant and it wasn't pleasant. Currently 21+5.

We arrived at10.30pm this evening and she told us as we were getting into the car so didn’t really have time to process it and make other plans. We’re leaving first thing tomorrow morning but haven’t told them yet. I’m just not sure what to say to her. Sometimes I feel like just the baby maker to her and this makes me think she really does not care about my welfare.

Any other thoughts on this? He tested positive again this morning so we’ve left. I honestly don’t know how to forgive my MIL I think it’s so selfish

In your shoes I wouldn't be forgiving her

Ever

And I'd be making that damn well clear

Go to a hotel. They’ve been very unfair

Eww leave asap you can’t stay there they’ve got covid! What weirdos. We’d be out like a shot and no one’s pregnant. We stayed with in laws last summer Dd developed covid symptoms but negative tests still we went straight home immediately

What an absolute idiot you must be

I wouldn't forgive your MIL. This is unforgivable imo. My SIL almost died from getting covid whilst pregnant, and her health will never fully recover.

That is unforgivable.

@FannyFlapz@FannyFlapz the SIL didnt die
B

@FannyFlapz was coconutpie talking to/about your post? Or the actual OP?!

Wow you're quite inappropriately angry, at a poster taking to the OP not you. And full of shit - yep if your entitled to express an opinion so am I

@FannyFlapz u ok Hun?

Seriously though... reading your comments was a wild ride.

The reason most people who have died are vaccinated is because most people are vaccinated... and it's virus that's can kill people. Check the statistics about how many people are dying now compared to December 2020... come back to me with how many of those were vaccinated.

👍🏻

Covid aside, I'm more shocked that you ignore (and therefore allow to continue) another woman to call herself "mummy" to your child.

Be careful is all im saying. Soon will come the comments of "isn't mummy bad not allowing you sweets before dinner. Granny loves you and will give you them" etc. This kind of obsession isn't just irritating and upsetting, they alienate children from their parents and teach children from day 1 that someone a) loves them more than their parents and b) parents words can be ignored. Time and time again it happens where they get to teenage years and the minute zome kind of boundary (curfew, not buying £1000 trainers, not getting drunk in the park at 15) they runaway to granny's house because granny loves them and granny will let them.

You need to nip it in the bud and teach them all that your and DH are the parents and your word on how you raise your kids is to be respected.