Money matters - how to split utilities bills ?

[Whatsh]

My husband and I moved to a new place, I bought the house with my inheritance and savings and now pay the full mortgage myself. I just found out that my husband has put my account on all utilities bills as well ( as opposed to our join account that we both pay into for kids expenses, groceries, days out, etc ).

Aibu to expect him to contribute to utilities ? I'm struggling to have anything left after paying for mortgage, utilities and joint account contribution.

YABU to not have one pot of family money, as you are a family.
I can't get my head round the idea of 'my bills' and 'his bills'.
You are a family, not housemates.

Your partner needs to pay for his share. He should not have done what he did.

Sounds like you have w cocklodger. Take action now and tell him he needs to pay half. Does he work?

I presume you've spoken to him? What did he say

Yes, he works and earns more than me actually! I asked him why he put all utilities on me, he said because I bought the house, I have to look after it by paying everything for it.

This can't be real.

You're married so the house is half his.

Does he expect to live for nothing?

At least half the bills and mortgage are his.

Why are you not hitting the fucking roof?

Start charging him rent.

Both the mortgage and utility bills need to be paid for jointly as you are married and the house is half his even though you bought it with inheritance money because the family home is always considered a joint marital asset.

Of course he should share in the bills.
I had one who did this too. At least when we divorced I was able to show he had been working and not contributing at all, and so when the financial settlement was finally done I got to keep the house I'd paid everything for.

Are you saying that he quoted your bank account details for the direct debit? If that's true then he has acted fraudulently.

What are you doing with him?

He will take half your inheritance when he inevitably walks out the door.

Are you absolutely mad?

YANBU, he should pay his share. Why on earth does he think he shouldn't contribute!!

At the very least you need a joint account that you both pay in to where all bills and family related costs are paid from.

You are in a fantastic position where you have purchased a home and are financially secure and he is fully trying to take advantage, and you're his wife!

I bet he'd come after half if you were to get divorced

That’s a very long way on the wrong side of the line marked “reasonable.”

There’s a fair range of what people may consider fair, and what you have now is not in that range.

At the very, very least you should be splitting all bills, but even if you do want to try to keep it as “your own” house (in which case why get married?..) then he should pay some rent.

Is there some back-story here?

Is the house in your name or joint? Covered by a pre-nip?

I don't get the separate money thing either, we have everything joint, but yes he should be contributing to bills and mortgage!

Have you legally ring fenced the house as yours? If not it is,case said, a marital asset. If course you share the expense of everything else.

Why are you paying the mortgage? Do you think the house is yours and in the event of divorce you will keep it, especially as yours is the name on the mortgage? Well it doesn't work that way. He now has a legal right to half of all the assets in the marriage including the house. As this is a fact he should be paying at least half of everything, although I would expect him to pay proportionately more as he earns more.

Sorry but you have been mugged by your H and have made the mistake of marrying in the first place.

What a bonkers way to run a marriage.

You are married. What he has is yours and what you have is his.

Given that you are married, I suggest you talk to a solicitor about divorce as technically he can claim half your asset despite refusing to pay anything towards it. You MAY be able to put a stop to this by acting quickly as it sounds as though the house is a very recent purchase?

I guess he is jealous that you have been able to buy the house alone. Is there a reason he is not on the deeds/mortgage?

Short term I would reduce your contribution to the joint account by half the cost of the bills and mortgage as a minimum... perhaps talk to him about him paying you rent. See if that changes his view. He has you for a mug OP. Do not house him for nothing especially when he earns more than you do.

Wtf!

So tell him if he doesn't want to pay to live there he can pay to live elsewhere!!

Odd kind of marriage !

So he pays you rent?

Are you in the UK? If so, then he would probably be entitled to half the equity in the house, regardless of who’s name is on the mortgage and the deeds, if you split up (depending on how long you have been married). It sounds as if he resents that you bought a house solely in your name (if that’s what you actually did). Did he have any say in the choice of house, or did you choose it alone? What was your motive in buying it yourself?
Have you tried to speak to him, and both have your say about the relationship? Inheritance money is always a bone of contention on Mumsnet anyway, whether the money is “family money”, or belongs exclusively to the named beneficiary.
Tbh, I’d go and see a solicitor and find out the best way forward, if you WANT to protect your investment. That could possibly be done by putting the house in trust for your children. (Or even buying a small rental property outright, and getting a joint mortgage for the family home, although that ship may have sailed now) Regardless, it’s completely unreasonable that he thinks it’s appropriate for you to pay all the costs of running the family home.