To not take this promotion due to potentially having a baby within the next couple of years

[Pondz]

So I have been at my company for a year now, i really like my job and I am comfortable there. Management is relaxed, it's really flexible, and I do hybrid working. An opportunity has presented itself for a promotion for me.. this promotion would be middle management. I have an interview tomorrow and over the last couple of days I have started to wonder if this will mess up my future plans for when me and DH have a baby.

Of course these are only potential future plans that I've made in my head, because we aren't at that point yet and we never know what's going to happen. But the plan is to TTC next year, and then providing all goes smoothly, after maternity I wouldn't want to go back to the same working hours. I would rather work 3 or 4 days a week and would condense my hours if necessary depending on what our financial position is at that time. So even if I had to go back to 40 hours a week I would ask for Friday's off and condense my hours. That is possible to do with the job that I have now. They are very flexible. However, taking on this management position I'm thinking that this wouldn't be possible then? Surely you have to be in the same hours and days as the team so that you can manage and support them?

I'm not sure if this is a correct assumption so I'm wondering if anyone else was in a management role before having a baby and then when they went back they could change work pattern? How common is cutting hours in this kind of role? As I said it's only middle management, not top, but I would still be managing the propel under me and there would be a lot of tasks that fall solely with me and no one else so not sure if they would happily cut my hours.

It's not exactly something I can ask at the interview and I'm really worried that I will give up a very flexible job for one where I'm stuck with the same days and hours because that's really not what I want to do. I know TTC could take ages, I know this could be way in the future but I do think it's important to consider this and forward plan. Also I might not even get the job! But as my interview is tomorrow I'm really wondering whether to still go for it.

Any similar experiences?

Oops *people

Tbh I think you’re getting way ahead of yourself. Unless you’re pregnant now, the logistics of going back after a maternity leave really isn’t something you should be considering atm!

Take the job (which I assume comes with a pay rise) - it’ll be good to save up a bit of extra money if you’re planning on TTC anyway.

I've switched to condensed hours after baby 2, some of my team do it even without kids. I think it's becoming more acceptable to request flexible working for quality of life reasons which is great. We all just tell our teams and the people we work with when we're not around and are a bit flexible with moving days if absolutely required.

Go for the job. This is nuts, really. If it really wasn't possible to alter your hours after a baby you could change your role then. Right now you could advance your career and save money. It's harder getting a promotion once you have the baby.

Take the job. In my experience, it's easier for more senior people to request flexible work anyway. But even if not, you'll benefit overall from presumably higher pay, a more senior role, gaining experience etc. You can always change your role later if necessary.

Take the job. A friend interviewed and got a promotion whilst pregnant (internal move and everyone knew she was pregnant), had a few weeks in the job, took maternity leave and went back on condensed hours into 4 days. Is doing a brilliant job and no-one questions it (rightly so!).

Generally speaking, the more senior you are, the better your negotiating position around part time hours. So go for it! Also, you don't know how long it will be before you actually have a baby, it could be a while.

Youd be mad not to go for it because of a baby you may or may not have in the future. It'll be easier to negotiate different hours etc when you're well established in the job. Go for what suits your life now. It could be years before you actually have a baby

Oh my god take the job!

I’ve been managed by people in a job share.

You are really overthinking this

@ace56 @Bindayagain yeah you're right.. I think it's just because I spend every day thinking about a baby it's constantly on my mind and ha been for the last few years so it's hard to not think about it in advance. But I do agree that you're right. Thank you

Definitely go for the job. You don't know how long it might take you to conceive once you start trying, what if it's years? At our company, LOADS of managers work 4 day weeks, it's really common. Obviously it does depend on the industry and the type of work, but I'd be surprised if there wasn't flexibility available. But in reality, it's not even something you would need to be thinking about right now. Go for the job, and cross that bridge as and when you come to it. If it turns out not to be possible, you'll have the extra experience (and money) under your belt and you can look for a job that will offer the flexibility you want.

@Giveaschitt this is brill advice, thank you.

A few of you are saying I'm being silly and overthinking it which is what I needed to hear! My DH isn't here at the moment he's been working away and I just needed some people to let me know I'm being daft 😆 cheers!

Yeah I was coming to say don’t be silly go for the job too!!

If you’re earning more you’ll get more maternity pay when it happens & being more senior doesn’t stop you requesting fewer/condensed hours - good luck in your interview :)

I got promoted while I was very part time!
As you've realised, it would be silly to make decisions on what might happen and there's no way a man would be worrying about this. Good luck!

Promotion is more money, makes life easier.
Promotion is wider experience, gives you stronger hand if you need to negotiate. It will also make you a stronger person and a stronger mother.

Take the job! You can't plan when to get pregnant... it may happen quickly or it may take longer than you think - it took me two years and in my head I thought it would take less than 6 months! If you are an asset to the company I am sure they will be more accommodating and flexible in future whatever happens! Xox

TAKE THE JOB!!! Money, security, better prospects. Please do it.

From very personal experience TTC can take a very long time, don’t compromise your career when you’re still in the planning a family stage.

I started TTC in May 2018, so by your maths in your situation I'd have been turning down a promotion in 2017, which coincidentally I was promoted in 2017. My daughter is 1 and I'm about to return post mat leave it's 2022! So your problem about returning hours is 2017 to 2022.....5 years!!! Granted she was an ivf baby from 3 years of infertility, but you literally have no idea how long ttc will take. Please don't start planning your life around it now or you could be in for a very very rough emotional time if you are still childless 5 years from now

Don’t hold back. Go for the promotion.

I applied for an got a promotion while pregnant with my 2nd DC. (Yes I did tell them and gave them my maternity leave dates..I knew they couldn’t ask in the interview but my big belly was obvious so I decided to be brazen and gave them the plan and surety I wasn’t going to go on leave and then resign)

The motherhood penalty is real enough without us doing it to ourselves.

Good luck with the interview!

GO FOR THE JOB! I can't say that strongly enough.

As Sheryl Sandberg once said, "don't leave before you leave". Take the job!

I'm upper middle management. I've always worked flexibly since having kids. 100% agree that it's much easier to balance when you're more senior and, to some extent, you set the rules and create the culture. I also feel that it's important for younger and more junior female staff to see women in senior roles balancing work and life.

Definitely go for it

I got better flexible working once I was on a higher level position - paid me 25% more for working 4 days instead of 5

I was in management - fairly senior role in the organisation- and I took my full year mat leave and then came back 3 days a week. It is absolutely doable! Worst case you can always drop down to a less demanding role if you want the flexibility or a less demanding job if you can’t make it work.