To not take this promotion due to potentially having a baby within the next couple of years

[Pondz]

So I have been at my company for a year now, i really like my job and I am comfortable there. Management is relaxed, it's really flexible, and I do hybrid working. An opportunity has presented itself for a promotion for me.. this promotion would be middle management. I have an interview tomorrow and over the last couple of days I have started to wonder if this will mess up my future plans for when me and DH have a baby.

Of course these are only potential future plans that I've made in my head, because we aren't at that point yet and we never know what's going to happen. But the plan is to TTC next year, and then providing all goes smoothly, after maternity I wouldn't want to go back to the same working hours. I would rather work 3 or 4 days a week and would condense my hours if necessary depending on what our financial position is at that time. So even if I had to go back to 40 hours a week I would ask for Friday's off and condense my hours. That is possible to do with the job that I have now. They are very flexible. However, taking on this management position I'm thinking that this wouldn't be possible then? Surely you have to be in the same hours and days as the team so that you can manage and support them?

I'm not sure if this is a correct assumption so I'm wondering if anyone else was in a management role before having a baby and then when they went back they could change work pattern? How common is cutting hours in this kind of role? As I said it's only middle management, not top, but I would still be managing the propel under me and there would be a lot of tasks that fall solely with me and no one else so not sure if they would happily cut my hours.

It's not exactly something I can ask at the interview and I'm really worried that I will give up a very flexible job for one where I'm stuck with the same days and hours because that's really not what I want to do. I know TTC could take ages, I know this could be way in the future but I do think it's important to consider this and forward plan. Also I might not even get the job! But as my interview is tomorrow I'm really wondering whether to still go for it.

Any similar experiences?

I took a promotion. Went off on maternity leave 11 months later and came back on just three days a week. It was great. I never would have had the negotiating power for that at the less senior level.

Watch this OP, I show it to my Sixth Form girls.

Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders - Sheryl Sandberg

Interview for the position, if you get it stash any extra pay into a savings account as your maternity fund, do it straight away so you don't get used to the extra funds.

Loads could happen between now and you having a baby, your company could make all roles more flexible, you may decide you don't want to return to work at all, you may apply for another promotion and get it.

THIS. Absolutely this!

I've done what you are considering.... take the job! I did! A baby is not promised even if we hope for another.... a job staring u in the face is! Xxx

Take the Job.
These types of considerations by women are one of the contributing factors to why we earn less than men who wouldn't hesitate in accepting promotion.

I was in senior management position when i went on mat leave, and during that time off I was offered a promotion. I negotiated condensed hours as part of my phased return. I knew I wanted another child and had a waiver about whether I was doing the right thing then had a stern talk with self and accepted.

I've just found out I'm pregnant again... yes I would have liked longer in the new role before having to take leave again... but no regrets.

Good luck

Woah! Slow down. You are really overthinking this. Take the promotion and go from there. The more senior you are the easier it is to have choices. The baby may never happen, anything could change. Take your opportunities whilst you can!

Sheryl Sandberg • TEDWomen 2010
Why we have too few women leaders

Message number three: Don't leave before you leave. I think there's a really deep irony to the fact that actions women are taking and I see this all the time with the objective of staying in the workforce actually lead to their eventually leaving. Here's what happens: We're all busy. Everyone's busy. A woman's busy. And she starts thinking about having a child, and from the moment she starts thinking about having a child, she starts thinking about making room for that child. "How am I going to fit this into everything else I'm doing?" And literally from that moment, she doesn't raise her hand anymore, she doesn't look for a promotion, she doesn't take on the new project, she doesn't say, "Me. I want to do that." She starts leaning back. The problem is that let's say she got pregnant that day, that day nine months of pregnancy, three months of maternity leave, six months to catch your breath Fast-forward two years, more often and as I've seen it women start thinking about this way earlier when they get engaged, or married, when they start thinking about having a child, which can take a long time. One woman came to see me about this. She looked a little young. And I said, "So are you and your husband thinking about having a baby?" And she said, "Oh no, I'm not married." She didn't even have a boyfriend.

I said, "You're thinking about this just way too early."

But the point is that what happens once you start kind of quietly leaning back? Everyone who's been through this and I'm here to tell you, once you have a child at home, your job better be really good to go back, because it's hard to leave that kid at home. Your job needs to be challenging. It needs to be rewarding. You need to feel like you're making a difference. And if two years ago you didn't take a promotion and some guy next to you did, if three years ago you stopped looking for new opportunities, you're going to be bored because you should have kept your foot on the gas pedal. Don't leave before you leave. Stay in. Keep your foot on the gas pedal, until the very day you need to leave to take a break for a child and then make your decisions. Don't make decisions too far in advance, particularly ones you're not even conscious you're making.

www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders

I'm sorry the formatting went weird in my post, OP. But yeah - you need a dose of Sheryl Sandberg.

Go for it. I work 4 days a week in a senior management role. I went down to PT after mat leave. All of my team apart from one work full time and it’s never been a problem.

Take the promotion. It shouldn't be, but it's often much harder to get promoted when you already have very young DC because you are tired all the time, you have to take time off when they are ill and you are generally less emotionally invested in your work.

PS I think @flourishing has it spot on.

God no. You can perfectly well lead a team PT. And the further up you go the more control you have over your hours, and the less anyone gives a shit about your workstyle as long as the job gets done. Not to mention the fact that earning more money comes in dead handy with a baby 😁

You are mad to put off promotion for these reasons.

You are worrying about something that may or may not be an issue a few years down the line.

And you know women in promoted positions can have babies.

I did both times.

It took me over five years to get pregnant- go for the job!!!

Hugely sector and role dependent but like many women I am part time and manage full time staff. Occasionally I need to be a bit flexible and answer a quick emergency call on my day off but it’s rare. I just check in with team before my days off and ensure they have all they need.

I can only echo what everyone else has said. TAKE.THE.JOB!!!!

Agree with others - go for it. I’ve never worked anywhere where they’ve refused a woman part time working after having a baby either. The place I’m working at has an unofficial rule that they’re the only ones who can get it! So I think flexibility will be a lot easier after having a baby, along with the seniority. Good luck!

No brainer. Go for the job. You'll get more pay and then more maternity pay when you do have the baby. I also think it's easier to go on maternity leave if you are more senior within the company (this is my personal experience anyway), assuming your existence is not absolutely critical to the day to day running of the organisation. I appreciate a lot of women suffer maternity discrimination but in my case I feel like I was treated as more senior and grown up as a mother. My career progressed because of it, and flexible working meant that I ended up doing a particular type of work which I love.

Go for the promotion.

You are allowed to progress in your career AND have a baby.

And if you don't go for the promotion and then end up TTC for years, you will kick yourself.

I recently got a promotion to a management role while on maternity leave. It has always been a full time role and was advertised as such, but I’ve negotiated part time hours. Take the opportunity! (far easier to do it now than have to worry about an interview after months out of the office on mat leave with a baby clambering all over you, trust me )

Definitely go for it, all other posters have pointed out all of the benefits and reasons of doing so. Also, it would be inappropriate in any interview to get into any sort of discussion about whether you are going to have children (and if you are already a bit conscious of this, try and calm your inner thoughts and concentrate on what you can bring to the job - i.e. they may ask you a question about where you see yourself in 5 years time etc.) If you don't take it, someone else will, and you may end up watching them do "what you could have done". When the time comes, you will find a way, I promise. You sound like a lovely loyal employee who will set a good example to others, so go for it wholeheartedly.

Take the job.
Watch the Sheryl TED talk

And ask yourself what a man would do

Sometimes motherhood can help you realise your potential. Your potential to become the bread earner. To reach your full potential. To aspire to the top. I can't claim I got all the way there, but I have certainly made significant progress. I hope you do too

Absolutely agree with this 🙌🏻

Oh my god OP go for the job, career's and family don't happen independently of each other. You might not even be with the same company when you are TTC. Would your husband turn down the opportunity for a promotion because you were TTC!