To be put off nursing because of the 'bitchiness'

[Blahdyblahblahblahblah]

Not my words but those of people I know who either still are or who have been and then left.

I'd love to do this but the thought of this really puts me off. Anyone who does nursing have you found it's a particular difficult environment for this sort of thing?

One of my best friends qualified a couple of years ago and said it's very cliquey and bullying / nastiness between colleagues seems to be rife. She's leaving and has said most people she qualified with have left too for a mix of reasons, this being one of them.

I'm a solicitor myself but have been wanting a career change and have always wanted to do this but it never worked out. I can take crap from the public, but I don't think I'd cope well with it from colleagues.

I used to be a mental health nurse (technically still am) but work in education now. I became a band 7 very quickly. There was a fair bit of bullying and unpleasantness on the wards which is why I left pretty quickly and worked in the community. That was mostly on but my most recent boss was jealous and competitive and caused me a lot of anxiety.

I work quite closely now with other fields of practice of nurses ie children's and adult and I'm afraid I've found a few of them to be hideously bitchy, immature and competitive plus incredibly petty.

If you're doing it I'd develop a specialism quickly and work in the community. Also as others have said there's generally less of that nonsense in mental health and learning disability nursing.

Lots of MH nurses can be quite toxic, many have undiagnosed personality disorders and just go into the profession to try and heal themselves. Avoid at all costs.

@XenoBitch

By that token you're invalidating my experience and must also be a bully?

I have never heard that expression used before.

Why would I lie? The continued use of it on this thread is odd.

Not having heard an expression is not at all the same as directly invalidating or denying someone else's experience. I'm aware some students seem to have a hard time and have acknowledged that some nurses and work places appear awful. It's not something I've experienced and I dont think its endemic as some on this thread would make out.

Interesting though that a few of you seem incapable of hearing a different opinion without jumping to accusations of bullying

Yes. Have recently discovered this, much to my detriment.

You said to ignore "nurses eat their young" because you have never heard of it.

A few people in this thread have heard of it and experienced it.

If you have not heard of it, then good for you. To be subject to it as a student is awful, demoralising and can have a huge impact on mental health. I met many student nurses in the changing room that were in tears due to how they were being treated by qualified staff.

I might be a bit of an outlier on this, but I fucking loved the role I was training for (ODP)... the patients were great, and I found the whole role interesting. Some staff were utter cunts (not surgeons, was always nurses and qualified ODPs).
My thick skin was reserved for patients, Why would I need one for colleagues? Why should anyone need a thick skin for colleagues?

My last placement was interesting and I loved the discipline (ENT)... but some of the staff were bullies. My mentor for recovery insisted I go through the 2nd year syllabus even though I was a first year.
Another stood there and berated me for not washing my hands in the order she wanted, despite the fact I had an A* for surgical hand wash OSCE.
I got a proper bollocking from someone for not going to get a blood gas on my own... even though I was not actually allowed.
I got told to leave a theatre because I said I did not know all the staff during the WHO check ( I was late due to having an exam).

What happened was me having an massive breakdown, bringing my hometown to a standstill and getting sectioned and spending a long time on a psych ward.

Believe that nurses do not eat their young all you want. You are part of the problem.

Is there a reason youre not actually reading what im saying?

Its an absolutely ridiculous expression with no meaning

Its too irritating to even be taken seriously.

I'm sorry you had a shit time and were so unwell.

But I cant change that my experience doesn't match yours.

I've heard of and experienced far more incidences of doctors and surgeons bullying staff. I watch FY2s completely ignore the obvious need for support from FY1s and wonder how they can so quickly forget what its like. I'm still capable of not applying that prejudice to every doctor.

Funny how there's no silly wee sayings for them.

@XenoBitch
Firstly 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 for what you wrote.
I have never heard "nurses eat their young" but I've sure as hell seen it.
There was a mentor at the hospital I trained that "made it her mission to make students cry".
Everyone knew this and laughed or said "oh don't worry. Ignore it! she's really nice once you get to know her". Why would you want to get to know someone who is making your placement and learning experience a living hell?!
Being sarcastic and shouting at you and making you do the most mundane things because she can't be bothered?! It's abhorrent

Secondly - I'm so sorry you had to go through a MH crisis and hope you are doing better now.

Thirdly - I loved working with ODPs. I would have such a laugh with them on a shift 👍🏽

Some wards are cliquey, some are not, almost every ward I've had a small number of staff I'm friendly with, and others not so much. Some days I dread going in because the group I'm on shift with, most of the time its a lovely atmosphere on the wards. 1 ward I went to was terribly cliquey and I left soon after. The beauty of nursing is you are not frowned upon for changing wards, it actually encouraged in your early career, you can also work bank HCA whilst training to get a feel for wards, alongside your placements, so when you qualify you can go to a ward where you know you'll have the support from colleagues on a ward you feel comfortable. Some wards/areas I've been to on bank ill never return to but have friends that absolutely love them. It just about finding the right fit for you.

Haven't read the full thread but I am an ED nurse and I wouldn't change it for the world! Yes their are the bitchy folks but it's all about who you surround yourself with, I don't go to work for my colleagues and to make friends I go because I love helping people and my job gives me such satisfaction!

Love my job- would highly recommend!

@XenoBitch I had 1 awful placement, I lasted 3 shifts before I got the dr to sign me off with stress for the remainder of it, thankfully I was able to make up the hours, but the people responsible were other students not even qualified staff, and I just couldn't return. Im sorry it had such an impact on you and hope you are doing better now

Oh gosh, that is awful that is was students that led you being signed off.

I hope you managed a way through x

@Topgub I just think you have not been on either end of nurses eating their young.

That is fine, but please do not discount the students that have been chewed up and spat out by their mentors.

@XenoBitch

I'm not.

At no point have I denied some nurses are not good mentors. Its a skill not everyone has.

That does change my experience or opinion. Which is as, if not more, valid than yours when it comes to a wider experience nurses as a whole.

The phrase is nonsensical.

Ignore the nurses eat their young rubbish, never heard that in my life

You only need to type it into Google to realise that's it's well established as a phrase. There have been multiple journal articles published around it.

@QueenWatevraWaNabi

Yeah I can imagine whoever coined it thought they were oh so clever and witty.

🙄

Most of the articles I can see using it are American, unsurprisingly.

Regardless, I've not heard it before.

I think any issues around bullying in nursing are far more complex than a trite phrase.

I would use the word hierarchical and clickey OP not every where but some wards yes!

Management who know F all telling people below like we are a piece of sh*t. Young staff getting promoted because nobody would want to be in charge of that particular department it's rife.....

Law and nursing is a huge change. I worked with one nurse who stopped and seemed haply no idea if she's still nursing now but she made a fab nurse though.

There reasons why some departments always have their bank shifts out because to be Frank it's the environment!

It was awful and my MH suffered terribly. I feel like the whole NHS needs a shake up and a zero tolerance to bullying. I could write a book over what happened to me and also people i knew in other departments. I think that the people on this thread that haven't experienced anything like this have just been lucky. Some of my placements as a student were fantastic but others were awful and one mentor actually made me cry. It seemed ingrained into the culture.

Just a note of warning OP - after reading PP advising LD and MH are the way to go. As a student, those placements were horrendously bitchy and bullying towards us. This was in the days when "general students" experienced most specialities. All these years later those placements still stand out for us, due to the bullying and very poor patient care. Good memories of the clients though.If you really want to nurse, I second the PP who states aim for a specialist post.