To be put off nursing because of the 'bitchiness'

[Blahdyblahblahblahblah]

Not my words but those of people I know who either still are or who have been and then left.

I'd love to do this but the thought of this really puts me off. Anyone who does nursing have you found it's a particular difficult environment for this sort of thing?

One of my best friends qualified a couple of years ago and said it's very cliquey and bullying / nastiness between colleagues seems to be rife. She's leaving and has said most people she qualified with have left too for a mix of reasons, this being one of them.

I'm a solicitor myself but have been wanting a career change and have always wanted to do this but it never worked out. I can take crap from the public, but I don't think I'd cope well with it from colleagues.

Been a nurse for over 30 years not experienced bitchiness or bullying in any job I’ve been in. And I wouldn’t tolerate it if I witnessed it. Nurses are just people same as everyone else, some are nice some are not.

I think that it depends on where you work. I was on an awful ward where bullying was rife from the management but then there were nicer wards. A lot of my student nurse colleagues were bullied when training including me in a number of different settings. So yes there is a lot of bitchiness and bullying within nursing. Such a shame because good nurses left because of it.

@differential ahhh I see.

Maybe I was lucky with the trust I joined. A few of the other women I started the job with didn't have previous experience either.

The same thing happened to one of my student nurse colleagues. Some mentors were just awful.

My daughter is a nurse and has never come across any 'bitchiness' although did find that a very specialised environment was very cliquey when she first moved there - kept her head down, did her job and became accepted. Maybe she's just been lucky but she is a very emotionally resilient and mature person who wouldn't put up with bullsh*t so maybe the bitchiness has just bounced off her!

She loves nursing..

It's probably a combination of poor ward management in some cases, and lack of confidence in others. And not enough time to really focus on team building and inclusivity.

A friend volunteered to work in ICU early in the pandemic, when her specialist cancer clinics were not running. She gave up after two weeks because the permanent staff were so bitchy.

This seems strange ,sadly when in all female enviroments SOME women (not all) can be unkind (Dont like the word Bitchy) and redress to silly behaviour.However I was surprised by Nurses esp as they must be too busy to take part in this sort of thing!

If you like the idea of nursing but not the culture have you thought about training as a physiotherapist, occupational therapist or dietician? I work in health care and these professions tend to be lovely and supportive.

Speech and language therapy too , we’re a wonderful bunch - if you do adult acute in my experience you do get to know wards (some you’ll be back and forth to a lot like stroke, neuro) and you’ll get to know some ward staff but you’re not so tied to staffroom politics, so all good !

As a student nurse I found the NHS wards very bitchy and generally unpleasant place to work, I now work for district nursing and it's generally very pleasant in comparison! There's always a couple of people who love a good bitch about others but nothing like the wards!

One of my best friends qualified a couple of years ago and said it's very cliquey and bullying / nastiness between colleagues seems to be rife.

Let me tell you a story OP.

A pilgrim was walking a well-trodden path from Oldtown to Newtown.
On the way, he met a wise elder, & stopped to exchange greetings.
"What are the people like in Newtown?", the pilgrim asked.
"How did you find the people in Oldtown?" countered the wise elder.
"It was hard going actually" replied the pilgrim. "I felt quite unwelcome in the inns, & people were short with me, I didn't understand their in-jokes & I think they overcharged me."
"Ah ..." replied the elder. "Sadly, the people in Newtown are pretty much the same."
The pilgrim said farewell, & made his sad way along the road.

A second pilgrim was also travelling from Oldtown to Newtown, & met the same wise elder.
He gave cheerful greetings, & asked what the people of Newtown were like.
"How did you find the people in Oldtown?" asked the elder.
"Oh, what fun I had there! The people were dressed quite differently to where I come from & had so many interesting tales about their land & custom. It was hard to follow their accent & jokes at first but we soon found a way to understand & laugh with each other. The kindly innkeeper gave me such a comfortable bed & packed some bread & cheese for my journey when I left."
"Ah ..." said the elder. "Happily, the people in Newtown are pretty much the same."

Your friend is the first pilgrim OP, & would find bitchy cliques in whatever profession. Not content with disliking what she found in nursing herself, she is looking to put you off your chosen career change.

As a solicitor, you will be used to dealing with people who are facing difficult situations & will have an amount of personal authority - you'll be fine as a nurse it that's what you decide to do.

This is really interesting, as a student it seems as though it's hospital-based, rather than the professional a whole. I've been to one hospital which was pretty awful in one department especially, then three others where it was just one or two people (and bearable as a result).

I agree with Battlecat entirely. I’ve been an RMN for more than 20 years and aside from the odd incident, I’ve found it a very supportive profession.

Im a band 7 Ward Manager these days and I consider myself to be very supportive and that is what I expect of my team. We do get a lot of positive feedback from students and temporary staff.

I’ve worked in literally hundreds of places all over the UK and I’ve only ever encountered real bitchiness on three occasions. Staff moan and there’s always going to be someone you don’t like if you’re part of a big team but luckily because of shift patterns you hopefully don’t work with them very often.
I have to say nursing isn’t for everyone and God knows there are lots of issues in the NHS but I’ve also tried a few other careers and have always come back (although Im now about to take on a “quieter” less stressful job). At its best it’s a rewarding job where you really can make a difference to lives of people.

I think you have to be resilient and thick skinned to survive nurse training. I’m a lecturer and I’d say at least 50% of my students have been in tears at some point due to the way they’ve been treated on placement. And I hate that we push the onus back to the students telling them basically to toughen up. Believe me we do report back to the hospital management to try to get things to change.

As the saying goes, nurses eat their young.

Not my experience at all. I was bullied by a ward manager so were many others. People left because of them and their cronies. Escalation didn't work as higher up were frightened of them. They are now in a much higher position in the trust. Maybe i was unlucky. The NHS lost a lot of good nurses because this person.

Usual sexist pish.

Its not my experience.

The speeches are lovely - but there IS this NHS culture of "must kiss arse to the grades above you" that still I've come across to the point I'm dreading adult acute in my rotation. I like learning/intellectual disabilities - we seem to get the quirky SLTs who really like a good laugh.

Some of the cohort I've just graduated with have some horrendous stories of bullying on placements - including me. It can instil such a fear of a particular client group into you with one bad experience, or drive you so much with one good experience.

Its a lottery I think. Very much if your face fits. I've been very lucky and I'm easy to get on with so not had too many issues.

I've had nurse friends who seem to have issues wherever they go and I do believe the problem is more likely them then the actual people they are working with... As the saying goes 'if you meet more then 2 arseholes in a day, you're the arsehole'

@mrsjackrussell agree wholeheartedly.
They are losing staff hand over fist because of this but they won't do anything about it

I’m a midwife, work in a hospital; I absolutely love my colleagues, midwives, doctors, HCA’s- I don’t know if it’s the case everywhere but definitely at my trust we are a family. I’m not saying there’s never any gossip or anything, we are human but on the whole I think the team is incredibly supportive and welcoming.

As a solicitor, why would you choose to be poor? Nursing is well known for its bullying and also for the abysmal pay.

Pick a job with some money in it.