Am I a snob?

[Hasstrictlystartedyet]

How would you feel about these things…Almost constant toilet talk/humour and discussion of disgusting things…also frequently when eating dinner.
Diving straight in and not waiting for others meals to come at a restaurant
Loudly talking/bitching about others whilst in a restaurant/walking around…

Am I being a snob to inwardly cringe at all these things and to not find it funny?
I feel I have a great sense of humour and am actually pretty laid back, but I don’t like all of the above or being around it (have had to be recently)
Dh said I’m a snob and not down to earth..am I a snob? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Toilet talk is banal beyond the age of eight.

Fine to start eating if the food is hot and someone says go ahead. Otherwise, quite rude.

Not snobby but judgemental

instead of watching what’s going on in other peoples lives do try to keep an eye on your own!

if these situations involved your husband then when you settled you also took your eye off the ball there too!!! 🤣🤣

@Quitelikeit I wasn’t watching people’s lives…these people are in my lives…not Dh, although he gets a bit influenced if around it
I’m not judgemental, just hate trying to enjoy my food and then shit or snot or whatever it is, is brought into the conversation…puts me off!

Toilet talk whist eating is gross!- in fact, if these are adults it is beyond juvenile at any time but it does not make you a 'snob' to dislike it. Have they nothing more entertaining or interesting to say? If you are in a restaurant/pub I'd expect the food to come out at roughly the same time so no need to dive in but I wouldn't say anything if someone did. I would privately think it was bad mannered though.

The people you describe sound like me!
So, while you are judging them for being boors, they are no doubt judging you for being a prim little killjoy.

*In my life

@Palmfrond 🤣

Almost constant toilet talk/humour and discussion of disgusting things…also frequently when eating dinner.

But grim when eating dinner. But anywhere else, fine. People should be able to openly discuss natural bodily occurrences. (You are referring to bowel habits?)

Diving straight in and not waiting for others meals to come at a restaurant

Theres nothing rude about this. I start eating as soon as I get my meal. If I’m the last one to receive my meal I wouldn’t bat an eyelid if other people dived into theirs. Why should they wait for mine and risk theirs going cold?

Loudly talking/bitching about others whilst in a restaurant/walking around…

Not going to lie I love a good bitch. I think most humans do. Wouldn’t do it loudly or in public though. But I don’t judge those who do. They obviously don’t care who’s listening in.

Tbh, I can’t say you’re a snob from the above statements. We’d need more opinions;

• What do you think about McDonalds?
• Have you ever been to Benidorm?
• Do your kids go to private school?
• Do you own any clothing from Toast?
• What’s your supermarket of choice?
• Does a large roast chicken last you a week of meals?

Sounds like you have higher standards - hardly a snob.

All of those things are bad manners. I wouldn't judge someone on no 2 or be bothered by it, but I wouldn't do it myself.

Your husband needs to learn some manners. I wouldn't spend any time around people who behave like this. If that makes me a "snob", so be it.

You’re an adult who cracks toilet jokes over a meal? How juvenile.

Chill, Mary Whitehouse! I don’t think anybody has “cracked” a “toilet joke” since around 1978, you’re quite safe.

I'm from a loud extroverted family who swear every other word and don't realise their volume levels. In the pub or at home I don't really bat an eye lid (unless the kids are about) but in a restaurant it makes me uncomfortable and embarrassed. A certain level of decorum and respect for others in public places needs to be recognised imo.

I have been called prudish in the past so I can see why you're being called snobby. Not that I agree of course

Not a snob just uptight

Not a snob, just different to the company you keep.
My husband has a habit of cracking what he thinks are hilarious jokes when we are out, some people do find them funny (sometimes). Most times they fall flat and I have to remind him to read the bloody room!

You like what you like. I don’t like too much toilet humour unless I otherwise find the person hilarious. Very often we accept behaviour in people we like that in people we don’t like drives us crazy.

You’re not snobby. They have bad manners.

99% of toilet humour is grim and I don’t want to hear about other people’s digestion etc.

I always invite whoever is served first to start and not to wait.

Nothing wrong with a bit of bitching occasionally, especially well-observed and funny, but constant negativity and criticism is very boring.

You don’t sound like a snob. You do sound as if you don’t really like these people very much.

I do like a bit of toilet humour but I wouldn’t do it over dinner.

The worst thing about your post is the bitching about others in the restaurant - I’d find that mortifying and it would make me very uncomfortable.

Not snobby, just not dog rough

Everything fine except toilet jokes over food.

That one id say 'guys can you stop being so disgusting whilst we are eating' on repeat until they stopped. If they didn't stop I'd not eat with them until they can avoid it.

YANBU. I'm the same.
Leave toilet humour at the door and have a civilised adult meal.

I dislike all the things you mention, OP. I think it's just a personality thing, not sure about 'snobbishness'.

I would define being a 'snob' as thinking you are better than others for trivial reasons.

I don't think I'm better than someone who makes toilet humour jokes. Some of my friends do it, they find it funny, it's just not to my taste.

Some people start meals as soon as they come, that's just because of their upbringing or different etiquette. I wouldn't do it, but wouldn't judge those who do.

So i think 'snobbishness' is more about how much you are judging others vs how tolerant you are.

I don't think it's snobby to notice bad manners. A lot of people grow up never having learned these things though.

toilet or other bodily fluid talk while you're eating? Pick up your things and go to a different table or your kitchen or bedroom or something.

Starting helping yourself from communal dishes before everyone is sitting down? is rude (moreso if they are the hosts) but i wouldn't worry too much (I would judge). There are differing opinions on MN about starting before others. IMO you tell others to start before you so their food doesn't get cold. You don't start eating when others don't have food (so that's a virtuous circle there and doesn't worry anyone)