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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refunded twice

105 replies

Feelingguiltyandpoor · 23/08/2022 20:29

I paid for an event which ended up being cancelled by the company. After a huge amount battling and about 6 weeks later they finally refunded me the money (after initially saying it would be refunded in 5 days). I refunded my friends for their bit and thought that was it. However a week later and I've been refunded again. I'm now in a dilemma as since I bought the tickets a few months ago my financial situation is much worse. Would I be completely unreasonable for not telling the company and keeping the money? It's a big organisation and not a small company who will be hard hit. It's around £100.
God I know it's wrong and it's stealing. I need to tell them don't I even though they tried to keep my money in the first place. This money would be used for petrol and food and not luxuries but I know it's still wrong. I feel so guilty and know I need to do the right thing but this money is so needed right now. Ahhh.

OP posts:
Christmasiscominghohoho · 24/08/2022 13:04

I got refunded for a switch game I ordered for Xmas once via Amazon.
It didn’t arrive on Xmas eve (a problem with delivery apparently) and it was delayed.
Amazin automatically refunded me on Boxing Day as it didn’t show up and then the game got delivered the next day.
I think whoever was meant to deliver it couldn’t be bothered and just posted it after they enjoyed there Xmas.

I don’t feel guilty as it wasn’t my fault and it’s Amazon. Hardly going to cry over £50 are they.

Dotjones · 24/08/2022 13:05

It's not stealing because it's not your action that lead to this. It's their error, they are the ones at fault. There have been times in my life where I didn't look at my bank statement for weeks on end, a double credit might genuinely go unnoticed so you have the "plausible deniability" which is so important.

However - I wouldn't recommend spending it because they are entitled to ask for it back. Legally they have several years to ask for it, but it's unlikely that if there has been no contact for 12 months they'll be pursuing it.

NumberTheory · 25/08/2022 06:41

Dotjones · 24/08/2022 13:05

It's not stealing because it's not your action that lead to this. It's their error, they are the ones at fault. There have been times in my life where I didn't look at my bank statement for weeks on end, a double credit might genuinely go unnoticed so you have the "plausible deniability" which is so important.

However - I wouldn't recommend spending it because they are entitled to ask for it back. Legally they have several years to ask for it, but it's unlikely that if there has been no contact for 12 months they'll be pursuing it.

Legally, it’s stealing. there’s even a special section in the Theft Act to cover it.

stillherenow · 25/08/2022 06:59

I'd keep it . I've had this happen to me. Just save it for a month.

stillherenow · 25/08/2022 07:03

And yes in theory it's wrong but in practice it's a real faff to sort and a big company won't be hurt by it , so I don't have a moral issue with it.

Small business I'd return, but big incompetent ones I just keep and don't think that's wrong.

liveforsummer · 25/08/2022 07:04

On mumsnet you'll be vilified for even thinking it. In real life most people would keep it without a seconds thought. Maybe keep hold of it in case they claim it back but I don't know how likely that is. A big company likely won't even notice.

Doingmybest12 · 25/08/2022 07:29

If they have been completely awful and inefficient to deal with I would see it as yet another example of this and keep it. If I had dealt with an individual who had done their best to help and I felt this was a genuine error I would contact them once to let them know to give thema chance to sort it out.

AdobeWanKenobi · 25/08/2022 08:00

stillherenow · 25/08/2022 06:59

I'd keep it . I've had this happen to me. Just save it for a month.

And again, are you paying it back for OP when they charge it out of the blue anywhere up to six years from now?

ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 25/08/2022 08:03

They’ll realise when they do their quarterly or year end accounts. You’ll look bad if you don’t speak up.

ChagSameachDoreen · 25/08/2022 08:07

Keep it. If they ask for it back, deny all knowledge.

AdobeWanKenobi · 25/08/2022 08:14

ChagSameachDoreen · 25/08/2022 08:07

Keep it. If they ask for it back, deny all knowledge.

Oh god yes this. It’s not like they will have records of transferring it or any kind of electronic paper trail that shows it going straight into OPs bank account is it!

Are some people really this dense?

liveforsummer · 25/08/2022 10:09

ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 25/08/2022 08:03

They’ll realise when they do their quarterly or year end accounts. You’ll look bad if you don’t speak up.

Look bad to what? A computer or random accountant in an office at the other side of the country?! Not sure why you'd worry about that.

Livinginanotherworld · 25/08/2022 10:14

You know want you need to do, it’s stealing and wrong to keep it. It doesn’t matter how big the company is, or how skint you are. Return it and don’t cross the line.

SoldierBoy · 25/08/2022 10:20

I had something similar but it was a refund from my car insurance for £800. They got back in touch wanting it back about 6 months later, luckily I'd put it aside knowing they would find out at some point. Keeping and spending it isn't worth the worry of working out how to pay it back when they inevitably request it.

AdobeWanKenobi · 25/08/2022 11:07

SoldierBoy · 25/08/2022 10:20

I had something similar but it was a refund from my car insurance for £800. They got back in touch wanting it back about 6 months later, luckily I'd put it aside knowing they would find out at some point. Keeping and spending it isn't worth the worry of working out how to pay it back when they inevitably request it.

And thats exactly the point I've repeatedly made on here and consistently been ignored for. They can, and often do, come back at any point.

I'm not sure where all these people get their wonderful, completely invented, knowledge from but keeping it for a month, six months etc wont make a scrap of difference when they can legally pull it back at any point in the next six years.

It's really easy to sit behind a keyboard telling people how you'd spend it after two months, especially when you have no idea of the OP's circumstances or how this will affect her when it's eventually discovered. I'd ask those people to go and spend an hour on the MSE Forums where countless people have found themselves scripting and scraping because something they kept quiet over years before has now suddenly bitten them on the arse and left them unable to feed their kids.

OP, only your conscience can decide what is the correct thing to do here, but if you do keep the overpayment it needs to stay untouched for the next six years in case it is suddenly pulled back.

Should the company be in touch before then, or you in touch with them regarding it, the six year clock resets.

GretaVanFleet · 25/08/2022 22:05

Have you decided what you’re going to do @Feelingguiltyandpoor ?

SmileyPiuPiu · 25/08/2022 22:15

I've been sent some money and I don't think it's for me but I need them to confirm in case it is for me but they won't get back to me so now I'm just stuck in limbo. If I send it back it might not go to the right place. This is the government so they ought to have not just sent me random money.

CapMarvel · 25/08/2022 22:26

stillherenow · 25/08/2022 07:03

And yes in theory it's wrong but in practice it's a real faff to sort and a big company won't be hurt by it , so I don't have a moral issue with it.

Small business I'd return, but big incompetent ones I just keep and don't think that's wrong.

Aye, because no big retailers have disappeared from the high street over the last few years, have they?

The old excuse of "oh, it's a big company so they can suck it up" is such bullshit. Ultimately if and when "untouchable" firms like, I dunno, woolworths, BHS, Debenhams, Dorothy Perkins, Jaeger.. who do you think suffers? Oh yes, the ordinary staff.

SleepingAgent · 25/08/2022 22:34

@AdobeWanKenobi wow you really are invested in this aren't you Grin how many times can you say "six years!" in one thread? Grin

Sometimeswinning · 25/08/2022 22:52

Realistically how would they get it back? I'd just sit on it for a short time and then say it's been swallowed up into my overdraft and hadn't noticed it. You'll check and get back to them. But it may take a while!!

AdobeWanKenobi · 25/08/2022 23:16

SleepingAgent · 25/08/2022 22:34

@AdobeWanKenobi wow you really are invested in this aren't you Grin how many times can you say "six years!" in one thread? Grin

As many it takes for the idiots on here who keep posting “leave it a month” to realise that what they are advocating, with no knowledge at all, could lead to a really difficult situation for someone else further down the line.

Maybe if people actually bothered to read, or even do the briefest of research before posting then I wouldn’t have to repeat myself, and frankly if one of my posts saves someone from not being able to put food on the table in a few years time when money is taken with no warning, I’d say that was worth it, wouldn’t you?

Oh and we’ll done you for being one of the few that’s seemingly actually bothered to read it.

muddlingthrou · 25/08/2022 23:22

Keep it, move on with your life. Be scrupulously honest if anything similar happens to you with a small company/individual

GretaVanFleet · 26/08/2022 09:50

SmileyPiuPiu · 25/08/2022 22:15

I've been sent some money and I don't think it's for me but I need them to confirm in case it is for me but they won't get back to me so now I'm just stuck in limbo. If I send it back it might not go to the right place. This is the government so they ought to have not just sent me random money.

They’re the worst in my experience. They overpaid me child tax credits (nearly 20 years ago and it still pee’s me off) and I knew straight away it was wrong and told them but they continued overpaying. I was entitled to something like £10 a week and they ended up giving me nearly £2000 in about 6 weeks. I told them I had all the money in a separate account to pay back but they wouldn’t give me any details so that I could repay them. They insisted that it would be repaid by deducting it from future payments. I repeatedly told them that I just wanted to give them the money back but they came back every time telling me it had to be deducted from future payments. It took 3+ years before it was repaid. On the plus side I had some ‘savings’ for the first time in ages.

ChristmasFluff · 26/08/2022 11:29

Is morality dependent on circumstances, OP?

If you are struggling financially, maybe you'd be better off stealing, or shoplifting. Or becoming a confidence triskster.

Do you see what I mean? You KNOW this is wrong, otherwise you would have just done it - like people without a conscience would do.

That's the thing with consciences. If you keep on ignoring them, they stop speaking to you. Listen to yourself.

WaltzingWaters · 26/08/2022 11:44

Trainfromredhill · 23/08/2022 21:20

after a huge amount of battling

no. I wouldn’t pay them back. Take it as salary for time spent trying to reclaim the money in the first place. I wouldn’t feel a tiny bit guilty either.

This!