Unreasonable to say no to charities?

[PurpleWisteria]

DH and I are very lucky and will be able to cope with the increase in the cost of living. We have good pensions and savings. No holidays since pre Covid and no debts to service.

We had a look at our finances and have decided to give a monthly amount to our 2 DS's (and partners) to help them out for a while as both have hefty mortgages. Neither DS has asked for this but we know they are worried. We have often helped both out financially thinking better now than when we are dead. Morbid, perhaps.

We will not have to cut back on the money we give to our charities.

However, this morning I had an email from a local charity that we support asking us to increase our donation (quite substantially). I appreciate that a lot of people will be struggling and we have no intention of stopping donations but don't feel able to increase the amount and support the DS's. Especially as I think we will be hearing from other charities along the same lines.

However, I feel guilty. AIBU to say no?

I give to several charities.
When asked to increase a donation or donate to a new charity I ask them which charity they think I should cut to allow that.
It usually shuts them up.

The difficulty with this approach is that saving lives is not the only measure of effectiveness.
Improving lives through e.g. development and education is at least as important.

On the flip side to what a lot of people are saying here, I’m on a charity fundraisers’ Facebook group and someone posted the other day about sending an email saying the opposite, looking for advice on wording I think or to see if other charities were doing the same. But it was to email supporters in the context of the cost of living going up so much to see if anyone wanted to adjust their monthly donation downwards.

My dad is one of those people who isn’t bothered about presents for either his birthday or Christmas
anyway,I spotted an advert for oxfam-you could pick something for a 3rd world country to make lives a bit better for the people living there
we bought him a toilet,a goat,a few mango trees and a supply of condoms-with the idea we’d buy other bits the following year
well that idea went to pot when oxfam rang him at least 5/6 times a week,(sometimes 2/3 times a day) wrote to him-2/3 letters a day and really laid it on thick and tried to guilt him into spending more money than he has
my mother had to go to the top to get them to stop-it took some doing,and they where really snotty with her for daring ‘not to care’
weve all vowed never to A-do it again (we would have done this twice a year for the rest of his life) and B-we never shop in their shops/online
shame really-though their own greed,they lost out

as an ex professional charity fundraiser, I have thoughts on the sector. I support charities still, but boy do I look at their published accounts to check who is actually using the money I donate wisely. The final straw for me leaving the sector was a charity that funded 100% of it's charitable work from interest on a huge pot of wealth, but fundraised in order to pay for.... the wages of office staff like me. I was a fundraiser: I was literally asking people to pay for my salary. No thanks.

Assuming you live in the U.K. YABU to support a local charity when you could change or even save someone’s life in a developing country with that money www.givewell.org/giving101
But YANBU to refuse to increase your donation beyond what you are comfortable with, of course.

Er, pretty hard to improve someone’s life if they’re dead is it not?

But the measure they use is QALY - quality adjusted life years - rather than just additional life years, anyway.

Oh absolutely.

One of their most-recommended charities is one that prevents blindness. Another does repair operations following childbirth injuries.
You can filter by "save a life" or "improve health" or whatever you want to do or donate to their "top 10" charities and they share it out.

''@OlderParents ·
as an ex professional charity fundraiser, I have thoughts on the sector. I support charities still, but boy do I look at their published accounts to check who is actually using the money I donate wisely. The final straw for me leaving the sector was a charity that funded 100% of it's charitable work from interest on a huge pot of wealth, but fundraised in order to pay for.... the wages of office staff like me. I was a fundraiser: I was literally asking people to pay for my salary. No thanks.''

Yes, I worked as a Fundraising Manager. I remember asking a small health charity to list the projects/work they wanted me to fundraise for. I was shocked to see that most of the money they wanted me to find would go to pay the CEO and Finance director salaries. Needless to say I did not stay long in that role. Of course staff needs to be paid but surely the majority of the money needs to be spent on actual services/support/campaigns.

As a Comms Director for another charity I was asked to authorise spending over a £1500 for a vanity video that would be used only once at the charity's AGM so that the CEO could show-off what he had achieved in front of the board of trustees. Same charity also bought each of the trustees an I-pad. All of that from money that was donated to actually help support vulnerable people...

I lost a lot of respect for the sector in my years of working for various organisations.

It is a good suggestions to look at their account and also support charities that have visible, tangible services: animal shelters, homeless shelters, soup kitchens, food banks rather than those who only do campaigning/lobbying or just run trendy, vanity projects that very few people actually benefit from.

You do realise it was just a generic spam email and they don't know your finances or your plans with your sons, right? You realise it's not specifically tailored to you...

''@Cheeselog
^Assuming you live in the U.K. YABU to support a local charity when you could change or even save someone’s life in a developing country with that money www.givewell.org/giving101''^

I think your logic is bizarre.

It is perfectly fine to support local, UK-based projects and they save lives too.

There are many UK health and disability charities that do fantastic work to improve the lives of adults and children in this country and fund medical research that saves people's lives.

Not to mention UK charities that save lives by providing drug and alcohol rehab or supporting victims of domestic violence or by providing mental health support to those who are self-harming and/or thinking of ending their lives.

Or by working to prevent the refugees who risk their lives crossing the Channel from drowning.

Are you suggesting only charities that work overseas/in the developing world save lives? I am sorry but that's nonsense...

People should choose whatever cause they feel close too and inspired by.

YANBU

With the proviso that as we're about to face higher inflation, you increase the amount periodically, say once a year, so that its value isn't eroded

It’s great you give to charity. But we can’t support everyone. But if everyone did a little it would add up