To consider a nanny?

[Childcarequestionspls]

I’m wondering if a calmer setting might suit our toddler more than nursery. He attends a lovely nursery, but the toddler room is still very noisy and full on and I think it’s taught him to be a bit pushy and aggressive.

Where do people find qualified nannies? And is it possibly out of our budget (around £100 joint.)

Thank you. Lots to think about.

I think we’d be looking to employ a nanny through an agency. We would be looking for someone to work three days a week.

To be honest, the food is another thing that puts me off a childminder, as most seem to want you to send the child in with food for the day. At nursery he gets really nice food! Perhaps I’m worrying over nothing.

Be clear on what it means to have a nanny, is my advice. You will be legally an employer - you need to pay tax and NI, provide a pension, do payroll (or employ a payroll service to do it for you). You need employer's liability insurance. You will have to set clear expectations for the nanny and performance manage them if necessary.

I have no regrets about having nannies, but you need to understand how your responsibilities are different from using a childcare service like a childminder or nursery.

I think that’s why I’d want to look at an agency, as I don’t feel particularly confident with that side of things! I imagine in that scenario the agency would technically be their employer.

Not necessarily, a few agencies do but the prices tend to be higher and it's usually for temporary/short term contracts. Most agencies work as an introduction agency - nannies needing work and parents needing nannies approach the agency, the agency interview the nanny, check out their references, dbs, qualifications etc and put them forward for jobs, you then interview the nanny and decide whether you want to employ them.

Just to say that with childminders, it’s worth asking questions about school runs. I was keen to avoid a childminder who covered several local schools as I didn’t want my toddler spending most of the day in the car.

But the childminder we use covers one local school only, the school run is part of the daily routine (ten minutes walk each way), and we actually found it excellent preparation for our older child in terms of them feeling ready to start school. So not all school runs are a bad thing! If you find a childminder who covers your nearest/preferred school, it can be a great option.

Also, most childminders I know provide some level of meals, although they may not match nurseries for variety or standards. Our current childminder can provide breakfast and provides lunch (often a hot lunch). She is happy to give dinner if you send it. Our previous childminder provided three meals a day, including a hot dinner (very nutritious, included things like stew in winter).

Hmm … perhaps it is not for us then!

It’s hard knowing what’s best as all of the childcare available has pluses and drawbacks.

Nope. You're always the employer, except in v short term scenarios as described above. All the agency does is provide and vet candidates for you.

I've always hired nannies direct because agencies charge steep fees, but I'm experienced in job assessment from my work, and I check references and paperwork thoroughly.

It's not actually that hard being an employer - our payroll service also provide the pension and payslips. You just need to understand that it comes with responsibilities and be prepared to meet them.

I haven't heard of an agency that offers that kind of service. Usually agencies will advertise the role for you, dbs check/background check candidates and set up interviews and charge either a flat fee or a percentage of the nanny's salary for that. But then you become the employer.

You can use a payroll agency like Nannytax who can provide contracts, run payroll, produce payslips, set up the pension etc but legally you are still responsible for everything.

I pay my dog walker 1.5x what you pay your nanny 😮 I think that's too cheap for the person looking after your child!

Fair enough @Connie2468 - I am
going off other agencies like cleaners and the like where the agency is the employer. The other downside of this (and another off putting factor for childminders) is what happens when they are unwell.

Going on school runs is a clear positive when your child needs school, and it will get them used to the place before they start. Our CM did drop offs at the school ours both ended up going to. So when they got to school age there was no change in childcare - she was their wraparound. And she’d have them full time in the holidays. Massively easier and more relaxed for the child than having to book holiday clubs all the time.

She was hardly ever off sick, I think maybe a few times in 10 years. She provided all food. Not all childminders are the same - I think you have a lot of potentially incorrect assumptions, and it might be worth finding out more if you think a smaller setting might work for your child.

OP there are many good reasons for having a nanny. It is, however, not cheap. Not sure what tax arrangements one if the posters has, but under HRMC rules you need to pay your nanny's tax and NI on top of the net rate per hour you pay the nanny.

Also, you can't just "register as a childminder" and then blithely keep nannying on a self employed basis. A childminder cares for children in her own home, and is regularly inspected. Anyone who cares for your children in your home in hours set by you on a regular basis is legally an employee, and it's the employer HMRC will impose heavy financial penalties on.

Have you considered a smaller nursery?

Mine is at a nursery which is really the same size as a large childminder plus assistants type setting

The problem is there are a lot of pluses to the nursery. It’s a beautiful setting and he’s very well cared for, but I have noticed him being quite pushy and aggressive with other children since he moved up to the toddler room. They also do a term time only package, which works well.

We are TTC at the moment - nothings happened yet but it would possibly be cost effective with two.

The problem with childminders going on school runs is that I have to drive to the childminder, then in a pushchair or a car seat again, then again at around 3, then in my car seat … it amounts to a fair amount of the week really.

Also, while many have great reviews some of these are from parents who have said the nurseries wouldn’t take their child due to complex needs, so he wouldn’t necessarily get any more individual time.

We have a nanny who brings her own child. Works really well for us as he is the same age as my DC2 who gets the benefit of socialising with a peer but in the comfort of her own home. I love the convenience of having her come to our house and I wanted better ratios and a more consistent caregiver than you can get in a nursery.

We also get a discount on our nanny’s rates as a result of her having her child with her so it’s not that much more than nursery would be for one child, and actually cheaper than if DC1 was at full time nursery. She has been at preschool doing the free 30 hours and now just about to start school so the nanny will do all pick ups as well.

Our nanny and her son are like part of our family. I wouldn’t dream of not setting it up properly through HMRC for legal and moral reasons, but we pay a payroll agency to do the admin and once it’s set up there’s not much to do.

I agree about the school rums, hence finding s childminders where it wasn't a problem.

Here are some menus from my cm:

L: Minced Beef & Sweet Potato Stew
D: Chicken Menudo with Steam Mixed Veg
Bread

L: Vietnamese Caramelised Pork Bowl
D: Mixed Veg Chicken Curry

Basmati Rice

L: Cod Spaghetti Carbonara
D: Teriyaki Chicken
Fried Rice

She does breakfast (every day is different) and snacks which are often homemade

You have a lot of misconceptions about childminders.

I may have some, but I did explain that the childminders local to here (I don’t have a lot to choose from, the immediate area is quite rural and I can only realistically look at ones in a particular direction due to work) do want you to provide your own food for the children.

In any case, it just isn’t right for us at this time.

I had a nanny when my DD1 was that age. We had been in a nannyshare but the other family moved overseas. I was pregnant so we kept her on and DD had a nanny solo until she was 2.5 and DD2 turned up.
Our nanny was very good about lots of social stuff and toddler groups but the solo focus meant DD thought the world revolved around her and was very poor at sharing. She started school nursery quite young as summer born and it was a difficult transition for her.
A nanny made a huge difference for us and our ability to work and be flexible. I'm not sure it created a very flexible child

Why are you worried about your DC spending time in school runs? Totally normal part of family life

^ it's not family life. It's another family's life and dragging an 18 month old around with them as part of them earning a living. How can you think that's the same?

I agree. I'd there are several schools it can take she's, and that's a twice a day when you're child is strapped in, unable to play etc. By the time you take out a couple of hours for maps, and then meals etc, they have very little time to play.

Thankfully not all childminders do them, or they are a minor party of their day.

FFS it can take ages.
Oh for an edit button.
and less fat fingers

That is not her decision to make. When I nannied I was both employed and self employed. In your position you need to employ her, hmrc certainly wouldn't see this as a self employed role!

I would definitely explore the CM option in more detail. They are all so varied you can often find one that suits your requirements.

Mine was set up almost like a small nursery, both husband & wife were registered and in the holidays their older daughter was registered as an assistant for the helping with school aged children.

They had a large dedicated extension that was set up similar to a nursery and offered three home cooked meals a day. They were able to do this with two of them being available all the time.

They rotated which pre schoolers did the school run and the other one stayed home with the others.

I visited loads and the spectrum of what was offered and included was massive, I didn’t really know what was important to me until I started visiting them and I just knew when I found the right one.

I agree with this as well I'd hate my child stuck in a car for multiple school runs. I hate it now as a sahm so I'd hate to be paying for my child to be stuck for ages in a car. I'm in Ireland where the junior primary school classes finish an hour before the rest of the school so often two trips to the school less than an hour apart . If that childminder also did a pre school collection that could be three collections per day.