Would you see them daily?

[Wouldyouthough79]

If someone had come over to visit you (but also for a holiday) but weren’t staying with you, would you see them everyday?

@Hidingawaytoday He has mentioned that there’s things he’d like us to do as he’s on his holidays too, plus he’s tired 🙈
Sil husband there, so seems odd I’d be the only one not going 🤷🏻‍♀️

@EntertainingandFactual I think he expects me to be there as everyone else is

In that case, he’s knackered and wants some of his holiday with just you and the DC… ‘So sorry, we’re busy/have plans on Wednesday & Friday but would love to see you Thursday, what would you like to do?’

It’s tricky then.
On one hand he doesn’t want to be tied up all week, on the other hand he feels obligated.
Well, back to my original suggestion- they’re his family, he needs to go it alone.

@WWouldyouthough79 I don't think it's odd to not go to everything. I often do things with my family without DH, it's nice to see them alone. And I try to encourage DH to do the same.

If your DP is the one pushing you to go just say no - but make it clear you're not stopping him and/or DC going.

Does your DH want to see them every day? If so - he can go alone/ with DC, if not then he tells them you can't do x-days. Or does he want to go, but it's claiming he's too tired to parent the DC while there and therefore tells you that you have to go to? In which case he can foxtrot oscar.

When I used to see my grandparents who lived in Wales (4 hours drive from where we live) we'd normally stay for about 5 days, and we'd see them every day but not all day. So we'd meet up for breakfast/lunch/dinner every day, or we might go out for a walk with them, or go round for a coffee - but the vast majority of the time we would be doing our own thing. That worked for them because they were retired and had little else to do, though.

I think it depends - did you (DH) invite SIL to stay nearby or say “You must come and visit!” or did they decide to stay near you and announce “We’re coming to stay.”?

Who is paying for all these days out (if that's what they are)? Even if it's free activities, lunch/drinks/ice cream can get very expensive for a group.

@phishy This is the other slightly awkward thing. We’ve saved a bit back to have a few days away next week as part of his holidays so wouldn’t have really spent much above the normal petrol/shopping bill this week.
Now it involves petrol for driving around all week, plus money for food/drinks.
Sil offered to pay for lunch out, but that in itself feels awkward for me and I’d rather not.
It’s almost like we’re on holiday with them but haven’t planned it/accounted for it as we’re just at home-if that makes sense!

I would send your DH with your child to see them every day and myself went with them every other day.
Say that it is great to have few days to sort some stuff out and have break.

@Wouldyouthough79 Oh no! Could DH not tell her money is tight and we can’t afford all this?

Failing that, could you please sickness?

@phishy He did message her to say that at the start and she said not to worry etc, which i why I think she offered to pay for lunch, but I’d rather not and just pay ourselves.

It definitely depends. Bit I would expect them to be on holiday and understand that I am working so meet up at various points

Pressed reply too early! So no I wouldn't expect to see them every day

You need to be clear and say you have plans one of the days. So see you .. Thursday. Etc

We just went to visit DHs sister and family. Her husband didn’t join us everyday and no offence taken by us.

If my sister came to visit me and my family for one week, I'd expect to see her every day and would have budgeted accordingly.

If you're both of work, and dc are enjoying themselves, then I can't see a problem really - it's one week.

If you can't afford to do what they suggest, speak up and suggest an alternative.

If you are tired and want a gentler day, speak up and say you'll skip the main activity and meet them afterwards.

The fact that dh has another week off, and you have been off for the holidays, makes it even less of a hardship imo - you have had weeks on your own with dc and will have time as a family next week.

Sim to see them for part of each day rather than the whole day maybe, invent an excuse if you are no good at being honest and direct.

I'm not really sure what you want from this thread.

It is pretty normal if someone comes to stay, that they might treat you for a meal to say thanks - but you refused

People have asked if the Aunt can't take your little one out for the day - but you refuse

People have said that you could all go out together - but you don't want to do that

People have said you could stay at home - but you think that seems odd

What are you wanting people to suggest.
You have posted in AIBU, without giving enough detail for anyone to offer an opinion.

From what you have added later, it isn't unreasonable to do any of the options, or a mix of them, but it does seem unreasonable to just not want to enjoy any of the options.

I would expect daily

If it was arranged that they were coming to visit, yes I would expect that they’d probably want to meet daily but not be bothered at all if they didn’t want to.

Really you should never have let it get this far without clarifying what you both expected from the visit.